# Dear Zoe--you're an idiot, not a detective. Now shut the hell up. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 30, 2009, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259 "2009-03-30T04:23:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/161 "2009-03-31T16:53:33Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Oh, and imbued with the overformality that French seems to deserve, my translation would be _would you like a cup of the coffee into which I have just urinated_? The “just” is key here- after all, it would be the height of rudeness to serve coffee with stale urine in it. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/162 "2009-03-31T16:53:48Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > This is to affirm that I am still reading your posts. Interesting. A while back, you posted [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10633889&postcount=199): [QUOTE=Zoe] You want us to play nice with PRR in the Pit? Maybe he has become too delicate and sensitive for the Pit. He might want to reconsider posting here. Or maybe he should take up passive resistance and not bother to defend himself at all. After all, we know him. He could just address the issues. As for matters of his integrity, I think he satisfied a lot of curiosity for Dopers when he got confused about what he had already said his doctorate was in. His sentence construction is still a wreck and his English grammar mistakes are glaring. But I wish he would apply himself. He does have a gift for the language and his writing is very colorful. I envy him that. There’s a lot more too, but it doesn’t matter. [/QUOTE] Are you too delicate and sensitive for the Pit? If so, you seem to spend an awful lot of time here. Or are you taking up passive resistance in not bothering to defend yourself? Hmmm…you know, we know you. You could just address the issues. As for matters of your integrity, PRR satisfied me (not that I needed convincing) when he sent me an e-mail from his work address, which happens to be prrsrealname(at)[arealuniversity.com](http://arealuniversity.com). I have mentioned this to you before, but for some reason you don’t believe me. Perhaps you have some bizarre reason to think that I’m a liar, too, although I’m sure I’ve never misrepresented anything here besides perhaps my children’s true names. What are you trying to accomplish here, Zoe? I’d really love to know. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/163 "2009-03-31T17:42:18Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > The “just” is key here- after all, it would be the height of rudeness to serve coffee with stale urine in it. There is always the bottled substitute, but it lacks that _je ne sais quoi_, doesn’t it? Trouble yourself not to answer, _Monsieur_, for having surveyed with care the label of the product, I am able to reassure you that there is none. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/164 "2009-03-31T17:56:07Z")
Holy shit. **Zoe** -what the fuck are you putting on your cornflakes? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/165 "2009-03-31T17:58:17Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I prefer without, but _à chacun son goût_. So is urine-coffee okay for those of us without gout? ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/166 "2009-03-31T18:06:04Z")
Wow, **Sarahfeena** , nice work. Seriously, **Zoe** , you need to either meaningfully participate in this thread or be branded a hypocrite. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/167 "2009-03-31T18:14:41Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Holy shit. **Zoe** -what the fuck are you putting on your cornflakes? No clue, but considering how the coffee is served in this thread I think we can come up with a few ideas. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/168 "2009-03-31T18:53:05Z")
> [@The\_Weird\_One](#): > > So is urine-coffee okay for those of us without gout? Ah, this happens from time to time… can someone take **The Weird One** down the hall to Special Ed French? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/169 "2009-03-31T19:07:35Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Ah, this happens from time to time… can someone take **The Weird One** down the hall to Special Ed French? But if I learn Special Ed’s French, I _still_ won’t know regular French. And what makes Ed so special, anyway? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/170 "2009-03-31T19:11:46Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > As for matters of your integrity, PRR satisfied me (not that I needed convincing) when he sent me an e-mail from his work address, which happens to be prrsrealname(at)[arealuniversity.com](http://arealuniversity.com). See, that would trigger my suspicion straight away. All the universities i know are at .edu addresses. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/171 "2009-03-31T20:08:34Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > See, that would trigger my suspicion straight away. > > All the universities i know are at .edu addresses. 🙂 Ha ha! Wouldn’t that be a joke on me! :eek: No, no dummied up e-mail address, just a typo on my part. prr’s actual address is prrsrealname(at)arealuniversity. **edu**. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/172 "2009-03-31T20:16:14Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > _snip_ > prr’s actual address is prrsrealname(at)arealuniversity. **edu**. AH-HA! Now we have PRR’s real email address. Is there some way we can use this info to track him down and prove he really isn’t a professor but some kind of pastry merchant? ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/173 "2009-03-31T20:18:28Z")
Pastry merchant? He’s a red SALAMANDER! And I don’t think salamanders are even capable of typing, let alone teaching, so there’s another lie exposed. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/174 "2009-03-31T20:19:13Z")
Hmph. I hear everyone at Areola University is a boob. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/175 "2009-03-31T20:25:02Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > No clue, but considering how the coffee is served in this thread I think we can come up with a few ideas. It wasn’t the cereal toppings, it was the plate of pan-fried semen on the side. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/176 "2009-03-31T21:14:57Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > Hmph. I hear everyone at Areola University is a boob. And Penumbra University is a shadow of its former glory. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/177 "2009-03-31T21:31:44Z")
I have no comment about PRR’s identity (or lack thereof?) or even Zoe’s… quirks, but lots of people have @school.edu addresses who are NOT professors. Like students, staff, post-docs, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/178 "2009-03-31T21:35:32Z")
> [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](#): > > I have no comment about PRR’s identity (or lack thereof?) or even Zoe’s… quirks, but lots of people have @school.edu addresses who are NOT professors. Like students, staff, post-docs, etc. If you Google his full name, the first cite that comes up will verify his identity at the university. twickster and I have also met him in person. Trust me, there is no reason for any doubt about his true identity, unless you are a paranoid, grudge-holding nutbar. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/179 "2009-03-31T21:41:08Z")
> [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](#): > > I have no comment about PRR’s identity (or lack thereof?) or even Zoe’s… quirks, but lots of people have @school.edu addresses who are NOT professors. Like students, staff, post-docs, etc. Yes, but having his real name does help determine which of those he is. And I have determined that he is, indeed, a professor. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2009, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/180 "2009-03-31T23:04:24Z")
Hey, I’m just posting to affirm that I’m reading these comments. And now, you’re ALL on the goddamned list. The _naughty_ list. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259.md?page=10)