# Dearest Eve **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 29, 2003, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239 "2003-06-29T23:45:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2003, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/1 "2003-06-29T23:45:04Z")
Let me start by saying that I have followed your threads ever since I joined SDMB, and have always found them humorous and enlightening. Every time I saw a thread with your name I clicked on it, because I knew it would bring a smile to my face and make me wonder about the lady who lives in New York and what she might be like. I’m not good at pitting people, and I would rather you didn’t think of this as such, because I like you, and I consider you an asset to our community. So let me cut to the chase and tell you what’s bothering me: Your “gallows humor” regarding the death of the poor guy in this thread: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=192795&perpage=40&pagenumber=2](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=192795&perpage=40&pagenumber=2) and again here: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=194298](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=194298) **Eve** , please understand me here, okay? If it isn’t your intent to make light of these peoples’ deaths, then please clarify, because in addition to **me** you have other fans on SDMB who seem to be taking what **you** say as license to post cruel comments. I have always maintained that I’m not very good at getting my point across, but this is just something I needed to say, and I hope you will accept it in the spirit with which it is intended. Thank you for reading this, and I willl be happy to peel you a grape anytime! Quasi ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/2 "2003-06-29T23:49:15Z")
I too was suprised at Eve’s comments. I don’t know her, but I’m aware she has a good reputation on these boards, and I enjoy reading her threads. Seems out of character. IMO its not really a big deal, but I did think the joking about Katharine Hepburn’s death was unnecessary. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/3 "2003-06-30T00:05:41Z")
The thing about gallows humor is that some people will not appreciate it, while others do. When the story came out about the baby in the washing machine, I showed the article to a coworker and we couldn’t help but to giggle over the craziness of the situation. Another coworker scolded us. I have nothing to contribute to this thread, I just realized. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/4 "2003-06-30T00:30:23Z")
I for one was very amused by **Eve** ’s comments. And I also felt sad for the people who passed. I don’t see these as mutually exclusive. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/5 "2003-06-30T00:32:58Z")
OK, now I really HAVE seen everything. Frankly, I thought they were both very funny. Out of character? For Eve? Please. I hope she never stops. It isn’t as if she is there screaming “ha ha- I’m so glad he/she’s dead!” Lighten up. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/6 "2003-06-30T00:33:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by monstro \*I have nothing to contribute to this thread, I just realized. \*\* On the contrary, you hit the nail on the head, I think. People cope with and react to death in different ways. One person’s cup of tea may not be someone else’s. That’s all. ---
**Author:** ![fruitbat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fruitbat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fruitbat)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/7 "2003-06-30T00:35:33Z")
For what it is worth the comments cited above did not come close to offending me. They were in fact **funny** if you can believe that. As our capacity for finding offense increases our ability to laugh at the human condition seems to evaporate rather quickly. ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/8 "2003-06-30T00:40:03Z")
I am definitely in the lighten up fer crying out loud camp! Katherine Hepburn lived a full, long life - she died at the very ripe old age of 96 and not in some unforseen, tragic way! Comedy is, after all, tragedy revisited. None of us in that thread meant her any disrespect. ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/9 "2003-06-30T00:40:26Z")
I ditto **Bill H.** and **Zette** ’s sentiments. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/10 "2003-06-30T00:41:43Z")
I dunno, I can pretty much see where **Quasi** is coming from on the Katharine Hepburn thread. Oftentimes, the first couple posts or so of a thread will pretty much set the standard for tone during the rest of the thread. So I was, if not offended, certainly fairly confused when I clicked on what I thought would be a thread to share fond memories of Hepburn’s work, like most of the other threads dedicated to the deaths of prominent figures have been. All of a sudden, after reading the first couple posts, I felt like if I was going to post anything in memorium of Ms. Hepburn to the thread, I was obligated to also make a joke about how she might have died. Hence, I didn’t post anything. I know that the thread has since moved on from that tone, but it was a bit jarring, and I can see where people would get offended. ---
**Author:** ![spinky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@spinky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spinky)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/11 "2003-06-30T00:42:58Z")
Mods, can we have special versions of all the forums for people who are offended easily? ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/12 "2003-06-30T00:45:53Z")
Aw, you’re pitting **Eve** over a bit of gallows humor? And very kind humor at that… I can just see Kate Hepburn dying in a skiing accident at age 96! It’s practically a compliment to her. Death would be so much more unbearable if we weren’t allowed to joke about it at all. Give **Eve** a pass on this one. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/13 "2003-06-30T00:48:41Z")
Wait – was either of these people a golfer? And are you _sure_ there’s no way I can collect the $200 on my way to jail? ---
**Author:** ![fruitbat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fruitbat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fruitbat)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/14 "2003-06-30T00:50:16Z")
I can only hope that when I go everyone will know that it is quite alright to make any kind of joke you want about me. > [@](#): > > Mods, can we have special versions of all the forums for people who are offended easily? And to **ntucker** that is sig worthy. It would make things a lot easier if the easily offended could just stand up and identify themselves before hand. At least we could know which threads we have to tiptoe through. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/15 "2003-06-30T01:07:29Z")
There’s nothing wrong with laughing about death, it’s life-affirming, or is that sex… :scratches head: I wasn’t offended in the slightest by any of the comments in the two linked threads. Especially the comments about Ms.Hepburn, they were in the spirit of a bit of fond conjecture on a dearly departed friend, not mean spirited at all. Chill. ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/16 "2003-06-30T01:12:18Z")
Oh for fucks sake Quasimodem and Zenster! Humourless gits. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/17 "2003-06-30T01:22:33Z")
Considering that she started both of the threads, I really doubt the intent was to make light of the deaths. Eve starts a lot threads in Cafe Society when a movie celeb dies (unless someone sneaks in ahead of her), and if you read her posts for context in the Windshield Death thread, I think it’s pretty damn obvious she doesn’t find the death itself amusing. I personally found both comments funny, though, and don’t think this merits a pit thread. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/18 "2003-06-30T01:24:42Z")
Katherine Hepburn died? When? (I have nothing to contribute either, other than Eve’s always struck me as having an offbeat sense of humor - it’s never offended me.) Ava ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/19 "2003-06-30T01:30:17Z")
I’m sure Ms. Hepburn would have appreciated **Eve** ’s quip – hardly a “dark” sentiment. “Taking her work home with her” – that’s dark. Funny as hell, too. Sometimes, you _have_ to laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239/20 "2003-06-30T01:30:35Z")
Will you easily offended people please lighten up!! I’ll bet Kate herself is having a good laugh over some of the remarks (though probably not mine). **Eve** didn’t insult the late, great Kate or her memory. Overall it was a pretty good thread. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearest-eve/185239.md?page=2)