# Dearly Beloved. We have gathered to bury the Loch Ness Monster

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearly-beloved-we-have-gathered-to-bury-the-loch-ness-monster/993128>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [November 14, 2023, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearly-beloved-we-have-gathered-to-bury-the-loch-ness-monster/993128 "2023-11-14T15:58:02Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2023, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearly-beloved-we-have-gathered-to-bury-the-loch-ness-monster/993128/1 "2023-11-14T15:58:02Z")

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Yes, Children. The reason we cannot find Nessie is cause she’s **DEAD.**  
And buried.  
This guy says so. He deed the deed wid his Widdle Shovel.  
[Here Lies Nessie. Or, at least SOMEBODY lies. (LINK)](https://www.ladbible.com/news/uk-news/man-claims-he-found-the-loch-ness-monster-and-buried-it-under-school-173447-20231022)

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**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\
**Post date:** [November 15, 2023, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearly-beloved-we-have-gathered-to-bury-the-loch-ness-monster/993128/2 "2023-11-15T03:54:25Z")

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I heard the corpse of the loch ness monster was stuffed in the trunk of the Tesla roadster that was launched into solar orbit.

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**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\
**Post date:** [November 15, 2023, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearly-beloved-we-have-gathered-to-bury-the-loch-ness-monster/993128/3 "2023-11-15T04:07:07Z")

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I heard they pulverized it’s bones and made it into additives for BC powders.

BC stands for Big Cash-in

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**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\
**Post date:** [November 18, 2023, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearly-beloved-we-have-gathered-to-bury-the-loch-ness-monster/993128/4 "2023-11-18T23:16:48Z")

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I’d heard they buried the body upstate. But had to dig it up and move it cause they were building condos on the property……

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**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2023, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearly-beloved-we-have-gathered-to-bury-the-loch-ness-monster/993128/5 "2023-11-22T13:12:41Z")

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They shoulda never tried to off a ‘made" cryptid. That pretty much guarantees that Sasquatch or Mothman or a Chupacabra will be gunnin’ for ya.

…and you’ll never get the stink of dead Nesie out of your trunk, no matter how much you scrub and disinfect. Might as well throw the whole damned car away.

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**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2023, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dearly-beloved-we-have-gathered-to-bury-the-loch-ness-monster/993128/6 "2023-11-22T19:36:13Z")

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> [@CalMeacham](#):
>
> Might as well throw the whole damned car away.

…by launching it into solar orbit.