# Death is not an option: Sex **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 20, 2011, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892 "2011-12-20T21:50:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Bloodless\_Turnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@Bloodless\_Turnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bloodless_Turnip)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/61 "2011-12-21T14:39:40Z")
> [@](#): > > I suspect this is a question where your public answer is different from what, facing the actual situation, your real answer would be. Not for me. > [@](#): > > Giving up sex forever is a pretty big deal. No, allowing your life to be controlled by your genitals is. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/62 "2011-12-21T14:40:49Z")
There are very few of these hypothetical polls that I absolutely refuse to answer. This is one of them. Holy threadshit! Goddamnit, I need some brain bleach now. ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/63 "2011-12-21T14:41:54Z")
> [@Bloodless\_Turnip](#): > > No, allowing your life to be controlled by your genitals is. Wanting the option to have sex .. ever.. again, to have a normal relationship or mariage, is “being controlled by”? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/64 "2011-12-21T14:50:12Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > First of all, I’m not even attracted to any “opposite sex” person, so I sure as hell am not going to have my mother be the one and only female in my sexual life. Especially since she’d be over 98 by now and badly decomposed. > > When the OP said “opposite sex,” that should have been “sex that you’re normally attracted to,” to put gay people on an equal footing with everyone else. Nope. That wasn’t what I intended. Having your marathon-sex partner be your (presumably heterosexual) same-sex parent would make it less disturbing for you? BTW, had I given you the option to sleep with your dad, would you have opted for that? ---
**Author:** ![Toxylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@Toxylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxylon)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/65 "2011-12-21T15:03:53Z")
> [@SenorBeef](#): > > I suspect this is a question where your public answer is different from what, facing the actual situation, your real answer would be. These questions often are. You could ask 1000 guys to choose between having sex with a man and cutting their own dick off, and I bet at least half would say cut their dick off (because the social pressure to not do anything gay or admit to being willing to do it, even under duress, is really strong), but if you actually brought out the butcher’s knife, you’d have a huge sweaty pile of man-on-man action in no time. > > Giving up sex forever is a pretty big deal. I mean - it’s not just you, but if you’re married, or plan to ever have a significant other, you’d be killing their sex life too, unless you gave them permission to sleep around. And, from what I gather, people are pretty big on having sex. Being denied hundreds or thousands of pleasurable experiences to avoid one unpleasant one seems unlikely. > > But no one would actually admit to themselves that they’d have sex with their parent, so you get these “EWW NO WAY!!” answers, when I think, if the genie (or whatever entity is enforcing this decision) actually made you think about it, motherfucking would become a majority. > > It’s a pretty disgusting experience, but it’s not as traumatic, as, say, violent rape would be. It’d be more like eating a cockroach or something - something utterly revolting but it’s not going to kill you or even permanently damage you. Although, I suppose, more like a marathon session of eating cockroaches. I’m pretty sure after your fifth year of sexless marriage, or a few opportunities to consumate new relationships, you’d be wishing you could go back and bang your mom or dad. QFT and seconded. ---
**Author:** ![Bloodless\_Turnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@Bloodless\_Turnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bloodless_Turnip)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/66 "2011-12-21T15:07:11Z")
I’m trying to imagine the conversation with a future spouse, explaining how I agreed to suck my dads dick all day and allow him to penetrate me in a marathon sexual encounter - just so I could have sex with other people. A question for anyone who would vote #1 in this poll: If your spouse loses the capability of having sex due to an accident or medical issue (or whatever) do you plan on divorcing them? ---
**Author:** ![elninost0rm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ed655f/32.png) [@elninost0rm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elninost0rm)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/67 "2011-12-21T16:05:06Z")
> [@SenorBeef](#): > > Wanting the option to have sex .. ever.. again, to have a normal relationship or mariage, is “being controlled by”? It’s just something that is said by people that aren’t having sex. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/68 "2011-12-21T17:00:36Z")
> [@elninost0rm](#): > > It’s just something that is said by people that aren’t having sex. No, it isn’t. You’ll have to take my word for it. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/69 "2011-12-21T17:10:12Z")
> [@Bloodless\_Turnip](#): > > A question for anyone who would vote #1 in this poll: If your spouse loses the capability of having sex due to an accident or medical issue (or whatever) do you plan on divorcing them? Probably not, but I would probably work towards an arrangement where I could have safe, no-strings-attached sex with a neutral third party. I would expect my SO to do the same should I become incapacitated. I could never dream of asking him to give up sex forever just to protect my ego. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/70 "2011-12-21T17:24:15Z")
I hear if you think of England it takes the edge off. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/71 "2011-12-21T17:46:24Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > I hear if you think of England it takes the edge off. “Almost… Almost… _Almost…_ There we are.” “Well done!” ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/72 "2011-12-21T17:47:55Z")
> [@Omg\_a\_Black\_Conservative](#): > > I just want to know who the 16 people who would have sex with their parents are. As long as none of your siblings post here, you’re OK. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/73 "2011-12-21T17:54:16Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > As long as none of your siblings post here, you’re OK. > > Regards, > Shodan As long as none of your kids post here, you’re even better. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/74 "2011-12-21T18:01:21Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > What is this hotbed of celibacy, SDMB? Is this message board the dumping ground for the social outcasts, leftovers, autists, and lonesome retirees? Is this pattern of electrons whizzing through the ether that is SDMB the last-ditch social outlet for those forsaken souls who have none other? Is death not an option because we are but zombies already? You’re posting here too, aren’t you? :dubious: Count me among those who’d go without sex forever rather than do my own father. ---
**Author:** ![aerodave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f08c70/32.png) [@aerodave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aerodave)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/75 "2011-12-21T19:05:35Z")
I wonder how much gender bias there is in the responses. Since it is typically\* easier for women to go without sex than men—and by corollary, to imagine going without forever—that has to make Option 2 seem less terrible. Also, I’d think that being on the “receiving” end of an unpleasant sexual encounter is more violating than being on the other end. I’d bet that the combination of these factors means that nearly every person who has chosen Option 1 (or would choose it if they were to vote) is a man. \*I know…you’re a horny woman and you scoff at that remark. But stereotypes often exist for a reason, and the lack of a market for straight male prostitutes has to count for something. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/76 "2011-12-21T19:50:55Z")
> [@aerodave](#): > > \*I know…you’re a horny woman and you scoff at that remark. But stereotypes often exist for a reason, and the lack of a market for straight male prostitutes has to count for something. Sorry, but of all the examples you could come up with, this is one of the less convincing ones. When women have to rely on sex for financial security, as they have in many societies that we are familiar with, they have strong incentives to maintain scarcity value by controlling sexual access, regardless of their own desires. Basically, when marriage is basically swapping sexual access for financial security, you are not going to look kindly on those who cheapen the value of your own product by providing it at a lower cost. Societies like this develop systems of slut-shaming, punishments, etc. for those that do so. This means that there are risks for women who reduce that scarcity value by having sex outside of marriage, and thus they would seek compensation for taking that risk. This is very evident by comparing, say, a Chinese college campus to an American one. In China, the system above is still very much in place. Women (at least outside of the major cities) have reduced earning power and rely on marriage for their future financial security. There is a premium on virginity, and women rarely have sex during their universities years unless there is a very real path towards marriage in the picture. Every Chinese university campus i have been to (which is many) is surrounded by a thriving brothel district. Visiting the brothels is a routine thing for college students. According to the “men are just hornier” theory, the likeliest explanation for more prostitutes in China would be that Chinese college guys are just plain hornier or Chinese women are particularly frigid, which doesn’t make much sense. The idea of a brothel district outside of a US campus is absurd. I doubt any college-aged man would admit to visiting one (unless it was a tourist experience in Amsterdam or something.) US women generally don’t trade sexuality for security quite as much, and thus don’t have many incentives to create scarcity value. Thus there are relatively few controls on female sexuality on US college campuses, and not surprisingly there is a lot of hooking up. So there really isn’t much of a market for prostitution. ---
**Author:** ![aerodave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f08c70/32.png) [@aerodave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aerodave)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/77 "2011-12-21T19:55:58Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Sorry, but of all the examples you could come up with, this is one of the less convincing ones. \ I’ll actually read your post later… but all I have to say is “you know what I meant” ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/78 "2011-12-21T20:25:13Z")
For me, the trauma of having sex with a parent pales next to the trauma of what it would do to my relationship with and memories of my dad. And jesus, what it would do to him! Even if we ignore the fact that he’s dead, I’d be trying to force my dad to have sex with me so that I could have sex later. There are so many levels of wrongness here. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/79 "2011-12-21T20:42:44Z")
It wouldn’t be the act itself that would be the problem. It’d be every family gathering from then on. I think I’d never talk to my mom again after that. As for the #1ers, I’m willing to bet they’re all men in their 20s. That puts their moms in their 40s or early 50s, and there’s no shortage of men willing to do unrelated women that age. So a 25:150 vote ratio, combined with the knowledge of the SDMB’s demographics, seems about right. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892/80 "2011-12-21T21:37:11Z")
I’m gay, so if I HAD to have sex with my mom, I honestly don’t think I’d even be able to get the mechanical parts working correctly. But I’d sure give it a try if it meant not having to give up sex for the rest of my life. If you say “well since you are gay it has to be your dad you have sex with” then I’d still choose it. Sex with dad? He’s certainly not the last guy on the planet I’d have sex with. Also yes, I’m 25 so my parents are in their mid 50’s. That probably has a lot to do with it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-is-not-an-option-sex/606892.md?page=5)