# Death to Wesley Crusher! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 8, 2014, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857 "2014-02-08T20:53:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Desert\_Dumpster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@Desert\_Dumpster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desert_Dumpster)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/1 "2014-02-08T20:53:48Z")
It never happened, but millions wished it would. So use your imagination, people–what would have been an appropriate death for Wesley? I’m thinking some combination of transporter accident and “Fargo”-style wood chipper-ish machinery, but my idea isn’t fully formulated. So how would you have the irritating little bastard meet his end? ---
**Author:** ![Motorgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Motorgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Motorgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/2 "2014-02-08T21:08:22Z")
Nooooooooooo! Don’t hate on my Wesley!!! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/3 "2014-02-08T21:14:30Z")
Wil Wheaton is awesome. Back off. ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/4 "2014-02-08T21:14:30Z")
Wow. Star Trek: The Next Generation finished it’s run in 1994, fully twenty years ago now (Wesley stopped being a regular a few years earlier). It’s amazing this can still inspire passion (both ways, it appears), two decades on. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/5 "2014-02-08T21:15:00Z")
Looks like there’s a use for the choppy, crushy things on the NSEA Protector. ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/6 "2014-02-08T21:18:30Z")
I saw an entire list of these on a Usenet post about 15 years ago. (You can Google ‘Usenet’ if you’re under 25.) My favorite one was “Data catches Wesley spanking the monkey in the Holodeck. Puzzled by this strange human behavior, he demands an explanation. Wesley dies of embarrassment trying to explain it to him.” ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/7 "2014-02-08T21:23:33Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Looks like there’s a use for the choppy, crushy things on the NSEA Protector. That episode was badly written! ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/8 "2014-02-08T21:26:01Z")
I don’t see why people keep hating on Wesley. I thought he was great. As a nerdy kid myself, I totally related to the character. He made me feel like maybe it was ok to be nerdy. If you want to kill Crusher, you’ll have to get through me first. Also, I’ve met Wil and he’s awesome. If playing Wesley and dealing with all that hate from “fans” had a hand in making him who he is, then Wesley has to live. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/9 "2014-02-08T21:44:38Z")
I used to hate on Wesley then I realized the ones we should be hating on are the writers that kept using Wesley as their Deus Ex Machina. And besides, like others have said, Wil Wheaton is actually cool\*. \*Except for all the annoying tweets about sports. ---
**Author:** ![Cumberdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Cumberdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumberdale)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/10 "2014-02-08T21:47:13Z")
I’d be behind this if it was _Death to the writers ruined what could have been an interesting character_. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/11 "2014-02-08T22:31:47Z")
> [@TimeWinder](#): > > Wow. Star Trek: The Next Generation finished it’s run in 1994, fully twenty years ago now (Wesley stopped being a regular a few years earlier). It’s amazing this can still inspire passion (both ways, it appears), two decades on. Hate never dies.die.die.die.dies. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/12 "2014-02-08T22:42:33Z")
Wesley’s problem was simply that we all outgrew him. They put him in to appeal to younger fans, and he did. So in that sense, the character worked well. But adults see him as shallow, whiny, annoying, and implausible. And all of this has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that Wil Wheaton is awesome. A great actor can portray an annoying character. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/13 "2014-02-08T22:47:41Z")
Keep Snerkels, Kill Wesley. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/14 "2014-02-08T22:57:48Z")
Most logical is he gets killed in a situation where he naively thinks his genius would help him, while a more experienced officer survives easily. ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/15 "2014-02-08T23:03:12Z")
Stewie kills him, so he doesn’t have to pronounce his name: > [@](#): > > Stewie transports the whole cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation against their will to answer his questions. > > Stewie: Oo, hey, let’s spend the day together. > Wil Wheaton: Hey that sounds like fun! > [Patrick Stewart whacks Wil Wheaton on the back of his head] > Wil Wheaton: Ow! > Patrick Stewart: Shut up Wil! > Wil Wheaton: Stop it Patrick! > Stewie: You know, I think you should all be nicer to Hwil wHeaton [with emphasis on the H] > Patrick Stewart: The way I treat my colleagues … wait. What? > Stewie: I said you ought to be nicer to Hwil wHeaton. > Patrick Stewart: You mean Wil Wheaton. > Stewie: Yes, Hwil wHeaton. > Patrick Stewart: Why are you saying it like that? > Stewie: What? I’m just sayin’ you should be nicer to Hwil wHeaton. Hwil wHeaton seems like a nice guy. > Patrick Stewart: Say wheat. > Stewie: Wheat. > Patrick Stewart: Now say Wil Wheaton. > Stewie: Hwil wHeaton. > Patrick Stewart: Wil Wheaton. > Stewie: Hwil wHeaton. > Patrick Stewart: Wil Wheaton. > Stewie: Hwil wHeaton. > Patrick Stewart: Wil Wheaton. > Stewie: Hwil wHeaton. > Patrick Stewart: Wil Wheaton. > Stewie: Hey did you hook up with wHoopi Goldberg on the show? > Patrick Stewart: All the time. ETA: Yes, it’s the actor, not character, but I couldn’t resist. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/16 "2014-02-08T23:14:54Z")
I’d do what they did, ship him off to never be seen or referred to again. Maybe give him a job in a submarine, with a talking dolphin. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2014, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/17 "2014-02-08T23:35:32Z")
I’m guessing that our good friend **Desert Dumpster** won’t be buying [this](http://www.amazon.com/Wesley-Crusher-Teenage-Fuck-Machine-ebook/dp/B00EVUVEAK) anytime soon. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2014, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/18 "2014-02-09T00:03:19Z")
> [@Washoe](#): > > I saw an entire list of these on a Usenet post about 15 years ago. (You can Google ‘Usenet’ if you’re under 25.) My favorite one was “Data catches Wesley spanking the monkey in the Holodeck. Puzzled by this strange human behavior, he demands an explanation. Wesley dies of embarrassment trying to explain it to him.” That would be even better if he was spanking an actual (well, holodeck) monkey… ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2014, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/19 "2014-02-09T00:12:55Z")
Lock Wesley and Neelix in a small room. That should take care of both of them. ---
**Author:** ![Hermione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cdc98d/32.png) [@Hermione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hermione)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2014, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857/20 "2014-02-09T00:33:54Z")
> [@Cumberdale](#): > > I’d be behind this if it was _Death to the writers ruined what could have been an interesting character_. This. I liked Wesley when, as a teenager, I watched TNG–mainly because I loved Stand By Me and Wil Wheaton. (I met him at the only convention I’ve ever been to–he was quite nice.) But I can see where the character’s flaws are now, and most of it, I’d say, is that Wesley Eugene Crusher is Eugene Wesley Roddenberry’s Marty Stu. I regard Wes as more of a missed opportunity than anything else. If they wanted an “in” for the teenagers watching the show, they should have MADE Wes a real teenager, with believable faults. Show him hero-worshipping the crew, but falling short at first when he tries to be like them–because he is, after all, a teenager. Then show him gradually improving as he undergoes a learning process like any teenager would. But we can’t have Roddenberry’s stand-in being anything less than a wonder-kid, can we? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death-to-wesley-crusher/680857.md?page=2)