# death **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 11, 2011, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911 "2011-09-11T03:55:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BasicBlack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BasicBlack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BasicBlack)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/1 "2011-09-11T03:55:11Z")
I had a friend tell an ex lover that I died because she wanted to see if he cared and I thought it was the best way I could stay away. Now, I miss him so much but know I cannot take back the lie. What is the best way to handle this? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/2 "2011-09-11T03:57:29Z")
Reported for forum change. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/3 "2011-09-11T04:06:25Z")
You should seek [advice from an expert](http://www.secondcitynetwork.com/shows/advice-from-a-cartoon-princess/). ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/4 "2011-09-11T04:07:01Z")
Sounds like the perfect set up for a separated-at-birth twins adventure. Maybe the ‘surviving twin’ could take on an accent. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/5 "2011-09-11T05:04:52Z")
Moved from ATMB to IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/6 "2011-09-11T05:13:46Z")
> [@BasicBlack](#): > > I had a friend tell an ex lover that I died because she wanted to see if he cared and I thought it was the best way I could stay away. Now, I miss him so much but know I cannot take back the lie. > > What is the best way to handle this? Wait until April 1st, then ring his doorbell to see his reaction. ---
**Author:** ![obbn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/d6d6ee/32.png) [@obbn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obbn)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/7 "2011-09-11T05:32:39Z")
So, did he care when your friend told him? What was his reaction? “Great, the bitch is dead” or was he crying? Very curious on this. ---
**Author:** ![BasicBlack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BasicBlack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BasicBlack)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/8 "2011-09-11T06:22:13Z")
He was heartbroken…this is why I find it hard to go back and tell the truth. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/9 "2011-09-11T06:28:00Z")
What a tremendously stupid thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/10 "2011-09-11T06:33:26Z")
You should show up at a party when you know he’s going to be there but wear a disguise. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/11 "2011-09-11T06:57:16Z")
> [@BasicBlack](#): > > He was heartbroken…this is why I find it hard to go back and tell the truth. I’m sure if you tell him you were just playing a game, he’ll feel much better. He won’t want to date you, but he’ll feel better. If you care so much about him will you let him stop grieving your death? ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/12 "2011-09-11T07:05:40Z")
> [@BasicBlack](#): > > He was heartbroken…this is why I find it hard to go back and tell the truth. christ, are you like 14 or something? ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/13 "2011-09-11T07:22:34Z")
That was an excellent episode of The IT Crowd. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/14 "2011-09-11T07:28:07Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > What a tremendously stupid thing to do. And that’s an understatement. Anyway, the OP should let him know that it was a lie. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/15 "2011-09-11T08:30:24Z")
Tell me this - do you think your ex should be dating a crazy woman? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/16 "2011-09-11T09:18:59Z")
seriously peeps, this is a setup. OP is not posting in good faith, ifyouknowwhatimeanandithinkyoudo. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/17 "2011-09-11T11:49:16Z")
Have you ever heard the phrase “burning bridges”? I’d say you took this particular bridge and detonated a hydrogen bomb on it, leaving behind only a scattering of radioactive particles. In other words, what Chimera said. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/18 "2011-09-11T13:06:25Z")
> [@BasicBlack](#): > > He was heartbroken…this is why I find it hard to go back and tell the truth. You know, it doesn’t _have_ to be a lie. \*\* Seriously though, go tell him. You got yourself into this mess, and I’m pretty sure he’ll find out sooner or later anyway. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/19 "2011-09-11T13:42:11Z")
Sounds like bullshit to me. So, what, every mutual person you two ever knew is in on this idiotic scam? I’m assuming there was no death notice or funeral. Seems like you’re childish and crazy, and he’s stupid. Or you’re both 10. What the hell advice do you _want_? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2011, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/death/595911/20 "2011-09-11T14:39:08Z")
> [@BasicBlack](#): > > I had a friend tell an ex lover that I died because she wanted to see if he cared and I thought it was the best way I could stay away. Now, I miss him so much but know I cannot take back the lie. > > What is the best way to handle this? A friend tells your ex-lover that you are dead, none of your mutual friends tell him otherwise when the topic comes up, there are no articles or death announcements, and he doesn’t ask about the funeral or contact any of your relatives to offer his condolences? The best way to handle this is to re-write your story to plug up the gaping holes in it, and submit it to some online goth fiction site. Closing thread.