# Decaf coffee? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 3, 2000, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802 "2000-12-03T06:12:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2000, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802/1 "2000-12-03T06:12:30Z")
I’ll admit it: I hate cold coffee, I hate stale coffee, I hate generic coffee. I’m a coffee snob and I love the taste of good coffee. That said, I have never drunken a cup of coffee specifically because of its taste. I’ve done it because there’s caffeine and I need lots of that stuff. Why is there decaf coffee? What the heck is the point? You’re not addicted to it, drink some water. Have a Sprite. You castrate coffee when you take the drug out. Decaf drinkers are like the Sharps and O’douls people of the bar world. Would someone please explain the point? ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2000, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802/2 "2000-12-03T06:38:38Z")
You said it yourself > [@](#): > > I’m a coffee snob and I love the taste of good coffee. The days are gone of my being able to drink three pots per day, alas. Now reduced to two _very_ strong large cups first thing in the am. And I buy coffee that costs $12/lb. and grind it myself. I, too, am a coffee snob. But the day will come that I will shake unless I switch to decaf. But I will buy the $12/lb. _great tasting_ decaf, smelling the coffee brewing while I drink my juice and read the headlines, pouring the old friend into one of many favorite mugs that remind me of people/events, feeling the heat from the cup warming my hands on a winter morning, and my brain will never know the difference. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2000, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802/3 "2000-12-03T07:16:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw23 \* > \*\* > Why is there decaf coffee? What the heck is the point? > Decaf drinkers are like the Sharps and O’douls people of the bar world. Would someone please explain the point? \*\* Someone was drunk when they thought those up!:p: Decafe coffee, non alcoholic beer. Bah! What IS the point? It’s like having a girfriend who doesn’t put out.😃 (ducks, runs & hides from feminist dopers). ---
**Author:** ![straykat23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@straykat23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straykat23)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2000, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802/4 "2000-12-03T07:49:54Z")
I agree yet I drink decaf. I buy the expensive stuff yet realize it doesn’t have the full flavor of the leaded beans. Reasons for drinking decaf? 1) I began to get the shakes with the real stuff; 2) I get fibroid breast masses with caffein. This leads to false-positive mammograms and breast checks and I don’t need that hassle. There is some controversy regarding the fibroids: it is proved and then debunked depending upon who is doing the research. In my own anecdotal case, I drink caffein, I get fibroids; I drink decaf, no fibroids. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![City\_Gent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a87d85/32.png) [@City\_Gent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/City_Gent)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2000, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802/5 "2000-12-03T07:55:12Z")
Don’t like decaf? Don’t drink it. Don’t like non-alcoholic beer? Don’t drink it. Personally, caffeine makes me nervous, shaky, and nauseous, but I happen to like the taste of coffee. Decaf is a lot closer to “real coffee” than that fat-free diet cheese excrement is to real cheese. Anybody who eats that stuff is in a self-hating state of sin. ---
**Author:** ![Timothy\_Campbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@Timothy\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Timothy_Campbell)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2000, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802/6 "2000-12-03T10:31:20Z")
I love coffee ice-cream, but caffeine makes me jumpy, so I only buy coffee ice-cream if it says the coffee is caffeine-free. So to answer your question: some of us like the \taste\ of coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Carina42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Carina42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carina42)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2000, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802/7 "2000-12-03T13:36:16Z")
Ender, I’m a coffee snob too. I get most of mine through Freed, Teller & Freed’s in San Francisco. (800 370 7371) :)I order a 50/50 blend of Sumatra & Italian Roast. That said, I once tried drinking decaf for several months. ACKK. I tried because caffeine intensifies pms symptoms, especially the Bloating Thing, and I was tired of feeling like a beluga whale for one week out of every month. It worked, but life without good coffee was so miserable I gave it up & made peace with my inner Shamu. straykat: Someone I know just switched to decaf for the same reason; they found masses in her breasts. I’m glad to know it works for you, I’ll pass it on. ---
**Author:** ![IBBen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/85f322/32.png) [@IBBen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IBBen)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2000, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802/8 "2000-12-03T16:19:53Z")
Here in the Seattle, the unofficial coffee capital of the world, one of the local news programs conducted a test of the “decaf” coffee purchased from local vendors. It was actually a nice set-up, hidden cameras filmed an obviously pregnant woman as she visited coffee shops around the area. At every stop, she specifically ordered decaf coffee explaining that her doctor said she should avoid caffiene while pregnant. Of course all of this “decaf” coffee was whisked back to a laboratory where when tested it was discovered that these jokers were serving mostly caffienated coffee! The reporter referred to a governmental standard of caffiene levels which of course eludes me but the result of the study was that the “decaffienated” coffee being served greatly exceeded these limits. **Ender** , with this in mind, decaf is not as bad as O’ Doul’s. You can still get hopped up on the bean even while drinking decaf, it would be difficult to achieve a buzz even if you somehow managed to choke down a six pack of O’ Doul’s. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2000, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802/9 "2000-12-03T16:52:46Z")
Caffeine keeps me awake at night & makes me pee a lot cause its a stimulant. Thus, decaf after 9am. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2000, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802/10 "2000-12-03T16:54:44Z")
In a taste test, I don’t think you could tell them apart Enderw23. PS: Just for laughs, there is a decaf expresso. PPS: Why spend $12lb but use crappy water in the coffee? Distilled water would be best, no? ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2000, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802/11 "2000-12-03T19:11:58Z")
I can certainly understand the rationale for not wanting caffeine. Pregnancy, wanting to fall asleep at night, masses in breasts. I wouldn’t blame any of you for not wanting regular coffee. I just can’t understand why you’d want decaf. True, they taste the same. True, you really can’t tell the difference while you’re drinking it. But you’re not addicted to the taste of coffee! Surely there are other things out on the market that have a plesant taste. It’s the same way with teas. I love a good Earl Grey. I would never buy decaffinated Earl Grey or English Breakfast. What’s the point? While I very rarely drink herbal tea, at least I understand why people drink them. It isn’t a caffinated drink that they want. I guess it comes down to me scratching my head and wondering why people would say to themselves “you know, I’m as wide awake as I possibly can be, but something’s still missing. Oh yes, fetid breath and pee that smells. Well, let’s cure that right now.” ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2000, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802/12 "2000-12-03T19:44:09Z")
> [@](#): > > But you’re not addicted to the taste of coffee! Surely there are other things out on the market that have a plesant taste. Well, being single the last four years, my sex life is not what it used to be(mainly due to being 56, raising 3 kids, and not having the money nor the old-time _intense_ sex drive. But reading about sex somehow just doesn’t cut it. Masturbation is probably decaffeinated sex. Reading about sex is drinking non-alcoholic beer{I’m also a beer snob} I think you must not _really_ like the taste of coffee **Ender** ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2000, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802/13 "2000-12-03T20:06:06Z")
I also drink decaf when I feel like coffee near the end of the day, and don’t want the effects of caffeine near bedtime. I recently read that some researchers have identified a gene for the one of the precursors to caffeine in coffee. Theoretically, they should be able to knock out that gene, and produce coffee that is 100 percent caffeine free right off the plant with no change in the flavor. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2000, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802/14 "2000-12-03T20:15:29Z")
Samclem, Maybe you’re right. Both masturbation and decaf coffee make me sleepy afterwards. Revtim, Do you have a link? My friend is doing graduate studies in coffee at the U of Hawaii (lucky bastard). I’d like to read up on it and maybe send him the article. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802/15 "2000-12-04T02:41:00Z")
> [@](#): > > fetid breath and pee that smells Granted, **Ender** , that coffee, even black coffee, causes a buildup of dark brown gunk in the mouth. When I was a coffee drinker, I used to cut that with frequent brushing and the liberal use of lemon drops and peppermints, and the drinking of much pure water, and rinsing my mouth. But the aroma of caffeinated urine is perhaps the most pleasant smell possible for urine. Do you really object to it? The other good effect on urine smell comes from basmati rice. ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802/16 "2000-12-04T04:13:08Z")
My personal “why on Earth would you want that” is caffeine free, DIET cola. What IS the point? I must drink brown carbonated water??? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decaf-coffee/43802/17 "2000-12-04T05:37:56Z")
OK, I’ll admit upfront that I don’t like coffee anyway, but why is it so inconceivable that some people might like it? If a person likes the flavor of coffee, and does not like caffeine, then decaf coffee makes perfect sense: It has what that person likes, and doesn’t have what that person doesn’t like. It’s like asking why people who don’t like pepperoni order cheese pizzas.