# Decemberrants: Yule post'em here, plz **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 1, 2013, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207 "2013-12-01T14:01:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![InsomniaMama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ad7895/32.png) [@InsomniaMama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InsomniaMama)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/61 "2013-12-02T20:34:44Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > What would your hypothetical store sell? Does it really matter?! We are THERE. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/62 "2013-12-02T20:47:43Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > Today can go suck eggs. I don’t even have the energy to enumerate the things that are pissing me off. It’s going around. I just had to jump up and run two laps around the building before my excess energy made its way down my arm to my hand and smacked a bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/63 "2013-12-02T21:24:06Z")
It’s with great satisfaction and schadenfreude that I note that my former boss, who first lured me away from a tenured position, then downsized me six months later, got bounced out on her ass from the CEO position a few years later because profits took a nosedive. The curse worked. Fuck you, you bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/64 "2013-12-02T21:26:25Z")
It took me two days to figure out how to get my new computer to boot from the CD-ROM so I could DBAN it and reinstall a fresh OS. I used to be better at this. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/65 "2013-12-02T22:21:01Z")
Okay, now the jokes thread is being overrun with a !@#%^&\*()(\*&^%#@ (don’t have the courage to call another poster a bad name) posting supposedly funny jokes having to do with hating and harming cats. Fuck it. On the plus side, it’s fun and easy to swear using a computer keyboard. Just hold down the Shift key and drag your finger across the number row at the top of the keyboard - what a pianist would call a glissando. See: !@#%^&\*()!@#%^&(\*&^%$#@ Fun and satisfying. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/66 "2013-12-02T22:50:14Z")
OH MY GAWD! It’s SNOWING! In MINNESOTA! Shocking occurrence, I know. Suffice it to say, there have been quite a few accidents on the roads. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/67 "2013-12-02T23:37:52Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > It’s with great satisfaction and schadenfreude that I note that my former boss, who first lured me away from a tenured position, then downsized me six months later, got bounced out on her ass from the CEO position a few years later because profits took a nosedive. The curse worked. Fuck you, you bitch. Sweeeeeeeeet! Nothing tastes quite like some piping hot, fresh schadenfreude! > [@MissTake](#): > > OH MY GAWD! It’s SNOWING! In MINNESOTA! > Shocking occurrence, I know. Suffice it to say, there have been quite a few accidents on the roads. Blizzarding here, too. I tried to help push one car up a hill - I think they must have not had snow tires on. Good luck with that, dummies. ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/68 "2013-12-02T23:39:35Z")
I got to work today and flipped my calendar to December. The bent paperclip that I had rigged to hang the calendar onto my cubicle wall fell and 
 just fucking ceased to exist. I searched the floor in all directions, the (mercifully empty) garbage can, under the cube walls, in my shoes, etc. How do small objects do that? I mean I could just bend up another paperclip, but no! I want answers damn it! ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/69 "2013-12-02T23:52:29Z")
> [@Greg\_Charles](#): > > I got to work today and flipped my calendar to December. The bent paperclip that I had rigged to hang the calendar onto my cubicle wall fell and 
 just fucking ceased to exist. I searched the floor in all directions, the (mercifully empty) garbage can, under the cube walls, in my shoes, etc. How do small objects do that? I mean I could just bend up another paperclip, but no! I want answers damn it! Have you checked _everywhere_? How about in your ear? Have you noticed a trickling from your eye? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/70 "2013-12-02T23:58:02Z")
> [@amorali](#): > > Ha. I went through and deleted half my “friends”. Anyone I hadnt met in person in the last five years was gone. See, for me the main point of Facebook is to keep in some kind of touch with people I haven’t seen in years because we live thousands of miles apart. When I say that, though, I’m thinking of people I actually _like_, or at least liked at some point in our lives. > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Awww. â˜č > > Can you friend them and then mock them relentlessly? 🙂 Hee! This woman is too uninteresting even to be worth that much hassle. > [@Chimera](#): > > A guy I used to work with posted a link today to a phony-baloney story with (allegedly) this “single mom”'s letter to Obama where she goes on about how much she’s struggled for the last 10 years and is so upset about Obama’s expensive trips to foreign countries on our tax dollars, calling him “the most hated president in American history”. :rolleyes: I pointed out that it was a bunch of over-the-top bullshit. One of his family mentioned how it was “at least civil discourse” (I assumed sarcasm) and that the article was written by the same guy who writes a lot of anti-Obama propaganda pieces
 Then co-worker argued with me about the cost of the trips and how no other president did anything like this. I pointed out Bush went to London and took several thousand security officers with him - to the capital of a first world nation and ally. Then one of his other friends pointed out that the article was on a site excoriated as both a\> a total scam if you dare pay for their content, and b\> constantly citing ‘a paper’ or ‘researchers’ but never saying WHO these so-called sources actually are. Arrgghhh
 Most of my Facebook friends aren’t American so I haven’t run into this at all. In Ireland the rabid partisanship isn’t there; almost all of us will happily slag off all our politicians, including the ones we voted for and will vote for again. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/71 "2013-12-03T00:47:35Z")
> [@Greg\_Charles](#): > > I got to work today and flipped my calendar to December. The bent paperclip that I had rigged to hang the calendar onto my cubicle wall fell and 
 just fucking ceased to exist. Ooo, I wish that was my problem. I flipped my big wall calendar (Jeep-themed – go figure 😉 ) over today to reveal a picture of a heavily modified '70s-era CJ on a snowy/icy hill at a rather precarious angle. I think the driver was just showing off, given the number of people with cameras visible in the frame. After the third remark from one of my coworkers to the effect of “dur hur, that went downhill fast!!!”, I took the calendar apart and rearranged the segments so that a rather bland picture of a Wrangler parked on a rock is showing. :rolleyes: A few years ago, one of the customer service ladies got permission to purchase completely new Christmas decorations for the front lobby. She actually did a great job – she found a nice-looking artificial tree, and got all sorts of ornaments, garlands, and other decorative bits in a blue/green/teal theme. (They’re supposedly our “company colors”.) This year, two of the ladies apparently decided the theme was outdated
they’ve done away with all the blue/green/teal stuff, except for about a dozen glitter-covered spiral sticks that are now wired to the top of the tree. It looks absolutely ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/72 "2013-12-03T00:58:15Z")
> [@MissTake](#): > > OH MY GAWD! It’s SNOWING! In MINNESOTA! > Shocking occurrence, I know. Suffice it to say, there have been quite a few accidents on the roads. Bus 15 minutes late to pick us up, 35 minutes late getting us home. As we roll in, someone on their phone bitching about how long it took. Someone else points out that the 15 minutes earlier bus was sitting there ahead of us still unloading, so our trip wasn’t that bad. Another person says “Hey, I thought we did pretty well and I didn’t have to drive!” Amen to that! Noticing the low for Thurs to Saturday is projected in the double digits
 _BELOW ZERO_. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/73 "2013-12-03T02:08:20Z")
DAMN IT. I keep biting the inside of my mouth near my lip. I’ve bitten it three times over the past few days and it hurts and it’s bleeding and it’s making me miserable. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/74 "2013-12-03T02:33:17Z")
> [@WolfpackJeep](#): > > Ooo, I wish that was my problem. I flipped my big wall calendar (Jeep-themed – go figure 😉 ) over today to reveal a picture of a heavily modified '70s-era CJ on a snowy/icy hill at a rather precarious angle. I think the driver was just showing off, given the number of people with cameras visible in the frame. After the third remark from one of my coworkers to the effect of “dur hur, that went downhill fast!!!”, I took the calendar apart and rearranged the segments so that a rather bland picture of a Wrangler parked on a rock is showing. :rolleyes: I would have liked the first picture better too. Sometime back in the '80s, there was such a terrible snow storm in Prescott that people were house bound for 3 days to a week. During the following years, better snow removal equipment was bought, roads were improved, utility lines and pipes were updated, weather forcasting has improved AND there has never been such a storm since. It still didn’t matter, when I was there 30 years later, everytime a snow storm moved in, the grocery store parking lots were packed full of people buying a month’s supply of food. Then, the next day, everyone drove like it actually had snowed 6 feet during the night, instead of the 3 inches that were on the ground. I’m so not going to miss driving through the snow. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/75 "2013-12-03T02:50:32Z")
> [@'No' Means November Rants](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/no-means-november-rants/672729/712): > > More chocolate to **Morgyn** and **Lynn**. I love that site. With those instructions, I am considering trying my hand at [Tiramisu](http://www.cookingforengineers.com/recipe/60/The-Classic-Tiramisu-original-recipe). According to the comments I can use pasturized egg yokes from the grocery store. Over on the O’Reilly site, until midnight, you can get [Cooking for Geeks](http://shop.oreilly.com/product/9780596805890.do?code=CYBER3) for 50% off. > [@](#): > > More than just a cookbook, Cooking for Geeks applies your curiosity to discovery, inspiration, and invention in the kitchen. Why is medium-rare steak so popular? Why do we bake some things at 350° F/175° C and others at 375° F/190° C? And how quickly does a pizza cook if we overclock an oven to 1,000° F/540° C? Author and cooking geek Jeff Potter provides the answers and offers a unique take on recipes – from the sweet (a “mean” chocolate chip cookie) to the savory (duck confit sugo). ---
**Author:** ![amorali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@amorali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amorali)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/76 "2013-12-03T03:11:52Z")
My fĂ»cking idiotic ex has once again allowed his girlfriend to drive my child around without a license. She can’t pass the test at age 40. This is the third time, DFS won’t do anything and the police won’t do anything. He now says she does have a real license but won’t prove it. I’ve already literally threatened to have the crap beaten out of her and she continues. Wish I were Italian. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/77 "2013-12-03T03:12:05Z")
Took me almost twice as long as it should to drive home from Woodland last night due to traffic. The CalTrans signs were helpful “Holiday traffic, expect delays”. No shit? ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/78 "2013-12-03T03:27:50Z")
> [@amorali](#): > > My fĂ»cking idiotic ex has once again allowed his girlfriend to drive my child around without a license. She can’t pass the test at age 40. > This is the third time, DFS won’t do anything and the police won’t do anything. > He now says she does have a real license but won’t prove it. I’ve already literally threatened to have the crap beaten out of her and she continues. > Wish I were Italian. Two of my grandparents were Sicilian immigrants. How can I help? You need me to give my Cousin Vinnie a call, and let him know you need his services? ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/79 "2013-12-03T03:34:54Z")
Much more chocolate for **Morgyn**!!! My problem now is if that would be a better present to give or recieve, because we will both enjoy it. There is only one way to make this hard decision
pulls lucky nickle out of pocket and flips it
heads!!! I gets it, calls Bill and tells him that I’m sending him a time sensitive email and link. ---
**Author:** ![amorali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@amorali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amorali)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207/80 "2013-12-03T03:36:03Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Two of my grandparents were Sicilian immigrants. How can I help? You need me to give my Cousin Vinnie a call, and let him know you need his services? Only if he has friends who can give her a “welcome to the neighborhood” call and not require anything in return from me. Well I might do something but can’t be beholden for life. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decemberrants-yule-postem-here-plz/675207.md?page=5)