# Decided:Smokers are not people **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 7, 2010, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612 "2010-03-07T11:49:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/1 "2010-03-07T11:49:45Z")
and we should be able to drive over them at will. Our asshole neighbor from across the street was kicked out of the house by his asshole wife a few months ago. I thought I was happy because there would be no more yelling. Now that he is back, I don’t really care about the yelling (maybe because they are not back to their everyday rhythm). I am pissed that this turdsack just sits on his porch and smokes like the judge ordered him to die of cancer before next month. Guess which way the wind blows. I could console myself hoping he will get cancer in the tongue and die a painful death but then I remember that it won’t just take too long, but it will also be paid from my taxes. Die, motherfucker. But die faster. I wish it were legal to assist him with his death wish. The price of a tire and a suspension arm sounds more than acceptable. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/2 "2010-03-07T11:52:49Z")
How close is your house that this is really an issue? I know the wind blows, but, really? ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/3 "2010-03-07T11:58:20Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > How close is your house that this is really an issue? I know the wind blows, but, really? You would think that across the street is far enough but I think he buys laser cigarettes that produce a coherent line of smoke that travels straight to my front windows. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/4 "2010-03-07T12:06:01Z")
You have my vote. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/5 "2010-03-07T12:11:27Z")
Between him and you I think I know who I would prefer as a neighbor. Or living for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/6 "2010-03-07T12:59:15Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Between him and you I think I know who I would prefer as a neighbor. Or living for that matter. It better be the one that anonymously wishes fantasy death on the internet because it would be crazy to chose the one that actually imposes his toxic lifestyle on others. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/7 "2010-03-07T13:02:03Z")
Generally I don’t have a problem with smoke getting into my house. When I lived in Dallas I would frequently get behind a guy in a minivan smoking a cigar on my daily commute back home. It was pretty faint and not offensive. Now that I think about it there’s someone in my neighborhood that smokes those cigarillos and on rare occasion I can smell it when I’m outside. I have no idea who it is though. I gotta say, the dude is smoking outside. As much as I hate the smell of cigarette smoke (oddly enough cigar, cigarillo, and pipe smoke don’t bother me as much), I can’t really see how your neighbor is doing anything wrong. Is the smell getting into your house? If so, you might want to think about investing in some good weather sealing. Assuming you own the place. I do sympathize though. Odesio ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/8 "2010-03-07T13:13:59Z")
If, as a smoker, I’m also a non-person, does that mean I can call the OP a whiny cunt and not get a ticking off? If a mod gives me a warning, will that confirm my existence? ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/9 "2010-03-07T13:17:16Z")
We live “al fresco” here. Windows open on all four sides 365 days a year (AC window units on the rooms for the nights a few months a year, but not on the living areas). That means that even if he smoked locked in his bathroom, I would probably still smell it. Which is why it is easier to just wish him dead altogether. I don’t think there is a way for him to smoke without bothering me and there is nothing I can do since he is not doing anything wrong or illegal other than existing and smoking. Yay for nobody else on the whole street that smokes. There is this guy that visits my next door neighbor, though. He smokes with his hand out the window and their house comes right to the property line. So he is actually holding his cigarette in MY house. He doesn’t visit so often and my next door neighbor is a great guy so I put up quietly with that one. I have had to leave my house and take the kids for a bike ride until he leaves, though. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/10 "2010-03-07T13:18:16Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > If, as a smoker, I’m also a non-person, does that mean I can call the OP a whiny cunt and not get a ticking off? > > If a mod gives me a warning, will that confirm my existence? _Cuntigo, ergo sum_ ---
**Author:** ![Waxwinged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c2a13f/32.png) [@Waxwinged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waxwinged)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/11 "2010-03-07T13:18:31Z")
As a nonsmoker, I believe that you should leave a medium-sized fish bowl with a very large bow on his porch. Attached to the afore-mentioned bowl should be a how-to manual for sticking ones’ head into the bowl. The bowl should not (I repeat, SHOULD NOT) have air holes. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/12 "2010-03-07T13:18:38Z")
Deathwish: The Pitting ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/13 "2010-03-07T13:33:00Z")
> [@Sapo](#): > > _Cuntigo, ergo sum_ “You think, therefore you are a cunt”? I have to admit, my Latin is a little rusty. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/14 "2010-03-07T13:36:41Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > “You think, therefore you are a cunt”? > > I have to admit, my Latin is a little rusty. “I cunt, therefore I am?” Maybe it sounds better with a British accent. ---
**Author:** ![psychonaut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/psychonaut/32/4655_2.png) [@psychonaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychonaut)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/15 "2010-03-07T13:42:55Z")
> [@Sapo](#): > > There is this guy that visits my next door neighbor, though. He smokes with his hand out the window and their house comes right to the property line. So he is actually holding his cigarette in MY house. In that case, I’m sure it would be well within your rights to take a pair of scissors to the portion of the cigarette which overhangs your property. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/16 "2010-03-07T13:58:39Z")
In defiance of Sapo’s lame pitting, I’m going to light a Berkely Big Bastard Super KingSize, stand in my garden, and blow smoke-rings towards any non-smoking neighbours. Yeah, fuck you, coppers and the Anti-Smoking Brigade. You’ll never take my cigs while these lungs are still spluttering. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/17 "2010-03-07T14:13:43Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > In defiance of Sapo’s lame pitting, I’m going to light a Berkely Big Bastard Super KingSize, stand in my garden, and blow smoke-rings towards any non-smoking neighbours. > > Yeah, fuck you, coppers and the Anti-Smoking Brigade. You’ll never take my cigs while these lungs are still spluttering. And thanks to that you will be able to enjoy your right to smoke for one less day. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/18 "2010-03-07T14:32:16Z")
> [@Sapo](#): > > And thanks to that you will be able to enjoy your right to smoke for one less day. 😉 Couldn’t we just buy you one of those little battery-operated fans, and call it a truce? ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/19 "2010-03-07T14:37:36Z")
Sapo, I’d count on him outliving you, since you’re clearly too delicate a flower for this world. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612/20 "2010-03-07T14:48:38Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Couldn’t we just buy you one of those little battery-operated fans, and call it a truce? I’ think they should create airtight smoke rooms for you guys. It would have a closed circuit air filtering system that removes both smoke and CO[sub]2[/sub], and keeps the oxygen supply at proper levels. It would include a sort of airlock, that would completely clear the air of smoke when you entered or left. Okay, so it could be a little less elaborate. But it’s basically a place where smokers can smoke without having to worry about anyone else. If a non-smoker goes in, they’re waving their right to not breathe smoke. I’d also like to see hookahs and other alternative methods of getting nicotine become popular. If you wanted the pleasure of smoking, you go to the above mentioned smoking bar. You just need a fix, you use something else that doesn’t pollute the air. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decided-smokers-are-not-people/531612.md?page=2)