# Declanium is a sorry excuse for a mother. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 6, 2020, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539 "2020-02-06T14:23:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/1 "2020-02-06T14:23:58Z")
Seriously **Declanium** , you are one miserable human being. [link](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=887586) I can’t very well summarize it, because there’s too much “WTF?” going in that thread. Basically it’s: “My sons smoke weed so now I’m disowning them”. > [@Declanium](#): > > Don’t worry about my lonely holidays - > I’ve got lovely nieces and nephews with no druuuuugz in their lives. I will be fine celebrating with them. > Geez. I truly feel sorry for this lady’s kids. ---
**Author:** ![tricoteuse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tricoteuse/32/4334_2.png) [@tricoteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tricoteuse)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/2 "2020-02-06T14:32:21Z")
I swear she’s just trolling now. Maybe she was serious at first, but now she’s just trying to piss everyone off. And I don’t know how the hell she can get away with saying stuff like “That’s rich. All of the SD potheads who were advising me to toke up with the kids, criticizing me. Cute. Go back to your bongs. Wonder if you smoked with your mother.” in IMHO. I did report it and nothing happened. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/3 "2020-02-06T14:35:21Z")
It is clearly trolling now, may have been to start with. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/4 "2020-02-06T14:39:46Z")
I agree both with the pitting and that she is now trolling. don’t know about originally but she’s now getting off on upsetting those of us who feel sorry for her sons. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/5 "2020-02-06T14:53:41Z")
I read page 1 (I’m set to 100 posts) and I thought overly concerned and not too bright, but not worth a pitting. Then I went to the last page (page 4 for me) and yeah, if she’s not trolling, she’s off the rails. Problem isn’t the kids using pot, problem is the controlling dumb-ass of a mom. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/6 "2020-02-06T15:06:31Z")
If she’s not trolling then I agree with the OP - she’s a pretty crappy mother ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/7 "2020-02-06T16:00:41Z")
I posted **Children** from _The Prophet_; thought it was perfect for her to read and get a new perspective; but I got no response. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/8 "2020-02-06T16:25:28Z")
> [@septimus](#): > > I posted **Children** from _The Prophet_; thought it was perfect for her to read and get a new perspective; but I got no response. It’s clear that she doesn’t want a new perspective (and/or is trolling.) If by some slim chance she is for real, I honestly do hope she comes to her senses, though, in my experience, people like this don’t, unfortunately. The electrons here are wasted. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/9 "2020-02-06T16:28:10Z")
At this point, I hope she is trolling. There’s something interesting about this whole discussion happening on the Straight Dope, of course, but mostly for her kids’ sake I hope this is all bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/10 "2020-02-06T16:38:00Z")
> [@septimus](#): > > I posted **Children** from _The Prophet_; thought it was perfect for her to read and get a new perspective; but I got no response. In fairness, I would have ignored that also. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/11 "2020-02-06T17:01:37Z")
> [@raventhief](#): > > At this point, I hope she is trolling. Agreeing with that. If there are some real teenagers being emotionally disowned by their mother, I’m sorry for them; but it’s utterly clear by now that, if she’s not trolling, she’s not going to pay attention to anything anyone says that doesn’t fit with her already-made-up mind. But she might be trolling. Is anybody really supposed to take ‘OMG he had a picture of a joint on his phone!’ seriously? ---
**Author:** ![Kovitlac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kovitlac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kovitlac)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/12 "2020-02-06T17:04:33Z")
Yeah she’s a loon. I’d totally understand if she was simply concerned, and seeking advice for how to talk to her teenagers, set healthy boundaries for living at home, seeking information on how dangerous (OR non-dangerous) weed is, legal ramifications, etc. But she isn’t. She didn’t start that thread with an open mind - she started it to bash her teenage sons and expecting everyone to agree with her that using weed, even just once, means you’re forever an addict with zero future aspirations. The ONLY thing she’s done that MIGHT help the situation is attending therapy with her boys, or at least one of them. Although it sounds like she’s still being pig-headed, and assumes the therapist will automatically agree with everything she says. The fact that absolutely no one in the thread supports her nuttiness is, to her, evidence that we’re all hopelessly addicted weed smokers, ourselves. Even though myself and others have told her that we’ve never smoked (I never have and never plan to). She’s not going to listen, and she isn’t looking to broaden her incredibly narrow world-view. As I mentioned in the other thread, thank God her sons have their father, who seems a lot more chill about the whole thing. They have the love and acceptance of ONE parent, which I suppose is still better than nothing. I’m honestly torn as to whether she’s a troll or not. There are plenty of people this deluded, happy to live vicariously through their children, until the moment comes when their kids inevitably don’t live up to their standards. Just look at Toddlers & Tiaras :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/13 "2020-02-06T17:11:54Z")
See, this is what has taken all of the satisfaction out of pitting someone who needs pitting. If any poster is bad enough to deserve it, everybody says, “meh, just a troll, why bother?” I was going to pit her myself, but decided not to because I was expecting exactly this result. Maybe she’s a troll, maybe she’s not. Who cares? Even if her whacked-out persona isn’t 100% sincere, it’s still worth talking about the shit she’s saying. To all the people in this thread who are blowing it off because of suspected trollery: you guys suck. I love you to bits, but you suck. ---
**Author:** ![Declanium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5daacb/32.png) [@Declanium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declanium)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/14 "2020-02-06T17:19:25Z")
All a bunch of hypocrites. Scroll down this BBQ pit thread to Fuck Meth and read the comments. Particularly one by scabpicker. His sister was an addict and the family doesn’t have contact with her. No wringing of hands or condemnation there. ---
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/15 "2020-02-06T17:22:06Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > All a bunch of hypocrites. > Scroll down this BBQ pit thread to Fuck Meth and read the comments. Particularly one by scabpicker. > His sister was an addict and the family doesn’t have contact with her. No wringing of hands or condemnation there. If your sons were on meth we’d be having a different conversation. But it’s not meth, it’s weed and you’re insane. ---
**Author:** ![TheCuse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thecuse/32/2854_2.png) [@TheCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheCuse)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/16 "2020-02-06T17:23:39Z")
huge difference between Meth and smoking a joint. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/17 "2020-02-06T17:26:10Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > All a bunch of hypocrites. > Scroll down this BBQ pit thread to Fuck Meth and read the comments. Particularly one by scabpicker. > His sister was an addict and the family doesn’t have contact with her. No wringing of hands or condemnation there. Are you trying to be a clueless idiot, or does it just come naturally? ---
**Author:** ![Declanium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5daacb/32.png) [@Declanium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declanium)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/18 "2020-02-06T17:26:18Z")
No one starts out with meth Probably started with weed ---
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/19 "2020-02-06T17:27:24Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > No one starts out with meth > Probably started with weed Probably advil before that. God you’re silly. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/20 "2020-02-06T17:28:04Z")
This woman is an idiot. Her sons are better off without her if this is truly what she believes. But I think she might be trolling. Something is off her. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539.md?page=2)