# Declanium is a sorry excuse for a mother. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 6, 2020, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539 "2020-02-06T14:23:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2020, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/261 "2020-02-07T22:44:06Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > There are always bannings on this board. Do you really think Ditka or Drunky made this account in 2015, made some innocuous posts over the years, only to spring into action–with a personality completely unlike either of them–now? I’m sorry, but that’s nuts. We do find sleeper socks on rare occasions, but they are not usually used to start threads about getting a root canal. Also, this poster mentioned her two sons in a thread from 2016. That’s a pretty long con just in order set up this one.😉 ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/262 "2020-02-08T01:03:55Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > Not a troll. > Again, if you think I am, then just don’t respond. > Seems easy enough. Are a troll. Don’t need your permission. Fuck you. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/263 "2020-02-08T01:08:08Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > Are a troll. Don’t need your permission. Fuck you. If you believe this person to be a troll, why are you feeding them? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/264 "2020-02-08T01:09:23Z")
I imagine that my parents would’ve hit the roof if they had caught me or my sister smoking weed when we were kids. And I also imagine they would’ve overreacted quite a bit. But there’s no way they would’ve stopped loving either one of us, nor would they have thought of it as something we were doing to THEM. The concern in fact, would be BECAUSE they love us. I think you need to ask yourself if the reason you care so much has to do with THEM, or is it YOU? > [@Declanium](#): > > 10 months. > He was only smoking with his brother. > And on own. I suspect more on own. > Hence the $1000 > I thought weed was not that expensive. I’m not sure tho. We’re in NY. Still illegal. So I don’t know going rate for weed or the THC carts that we found too Or perhaps it was simply a better grade of weed? I mean, I’m guessing the cheap stuff would be more hazardous? Have you ever seen someone go through alcohol withdrawal? Ever seen what happens when someone tries to quit cold turkey? I have. Or have you ever lost someone due to the effects alcohol addiction? I have. (The tragedy is that she was trying to get sober, but she got sick, and because her body wasn’t fully healed, she wasn’t able to fight it off). I’ll still drink, don’t get me wrong. (I probably shouldn’t, due to all the meds I have to take, but I try to stick to special occassions) But I’d be far, far worried about any children I had getting hooked on booze than pot. (And actually, vaping is far more unhealthy than pot, I believe. THAT would worry me.) (Is Declanium a troll? Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t know, I don’t care. I do know, however, that there are people out there who are completely unreasonable when it comes to this type of shit.) ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/265 "2020-02-08T03:56:50Z")
> [@SuntanLotion](#): > > The dog told me Right after you shotgunned it with a big ole fatty eh? ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/266 "2020-02-08T04:04:42Z")
> [@tricoteuse](#): > > Well bless your heart. > > You know what, I’m just going to call my ex Jeremy from now on because that’s his name. My son is Jerry (Jeremy Jr.) and my daughter is Allison. I’m Brigid. You’re a talking hemmorhoid. Now that we’re all introduced: > > He and some of his buddies decided it would be fun to cut class, something else he got in trouble for, and cruise around for a day. One of them was always bragging on his parent’s money so Jerry wanted to show him he wasn’t the only big spender. > > If you’ve ever seen 5 teenage boys eat you know they can clear out a Burger King or a Wawa faster than light. Especially when one of their buddies is paying and they’ve got all day so they need breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. > > Electronics are expensive. Like a Playstation was a couple hundred bucks and the games were maybe $60 apiece. Throw in an iPod and the junk that goes with it and yhou can spend over thousand easy in one trip. > Clothes are expensive especially when you’re into jeans that cost up to $100 a piece. > > Jerry did have a part time job and he would occasionally show up with a new gadget or clothes that he bought with his own money. > > I was at work because where the fuck else would I be on a weekday? > > When Jeremy and I were married we split up the expenses. Halfsies on rent and utilities and he paid the credit cards because he made more money and used them a lot more than I did.He is/was way more anal about money than I am, so sue me. Just don’t expect your restitution on time. > Jerry actually hid most of the stuff he bought because he thought he could sneak back and return it later but couldn’t because he didn’t have the card and didn’t get a chance to take it again. He thought stealing the bill would buy him another month of time to do so. He was flailing and didn’t know what else to do and was afraid to tell us. > > We made him return everything he could, and the stuff he couldn’t (and ovbiously the food) he had to pay back out of his paycheck from his job. > > Lastly, Jeremy and I got divorced because we were more like friends shacking up and after the kids were grown we wanted to do very different things. It was a very friendly and easy process and we are still good friends to this day. > > I’d much much rather be Jeremy’s ex than a menstrual clot- you ladies will know what I’m talking about, it sort of slithers halfway out and sticks there, and you just know that no matter how fast you pull your undies down it’s going to fall out and make a horrible mess all over the place- or worse, you. Your fascination with the cremains in your underpants which you try to read like teal leaves to explain your relationships would be funny if it weren’t so pitiful. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/267 "2020-02-08T04:06:54Z")
> [@JeffB](#): > > :dubious: Something about pot and kettle. Both were forged in fire is that what you mean? ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/268 "2020-02-08T04:53:06Z")
What the actual fuck chela? Cremains? Is there some sort of fucked history I’m unaware of here between you and tricoteuse? Cause you seem to be acting like a real dick. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/269 "2020-02-08T05:17:17Z")
> [@raventhief](#): > > What the actual fuck chela? Cremains? Is there some sort of fucked history I’m unaware of here between you and tricoteuse? Cause you seem to be acting like a real dick. She talks to hemmorhoids and compares herself to a menstrual clot, I was being nice. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/270 "2020-02-08T06:56:51Z")
geez, trying to follow the thread’s flow, here. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/271 "2020-02-08T08:48:10Z")
I’m still in shock over the earlier posts. That’s the harshest **Beckdawreck** has EVER been, by far. It was well deserved, too. Didn’t know you had it in ya, Beck! _high five_ ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/272 "2020-02-08T09:45:23Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I’m still in shock over the earlier posts. That’s the harshest **Beckdawreck** has EVER been, by far. > > It was well deserved, too. Didn’t know you had it in ya, Beck! _high five_ The little dog thang just got to me. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/273 "2020-02-08T12:12:53Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > He chose to swear on the dog’s life that he would not smoke weed again. > I’m a bit nervous for the dog. He’s 7 years old. OK. That was funny. In a good way. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/274 "2020-02-08T12:29:55Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Ten years ago, after my father left the toilet lid open in the master bathroom, she took her own life. He found her prostrate on the linoleum, her cold fingers still clutching her pearls. You’ll get my pearls when you… And don’t forget: if pearls are outlawed then only outlaws will have pearls. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/275 "2020-02-08T13:04:54Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > geez, trying to follow the thread’s flow, here. Heavy. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/276 "2020-02-08T13:23:37Z")
> [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](#): > > Heavy. Great Scott! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/277 "2020-02-08T13:48:46Z")
O B nice! ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/278 "2020-02-08T13:48:46Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > If you believe this person to be a troll, why are you feeding them? Why do the mods here let trolls go on for years? It’s the Dope’s culture. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/279 "2020-02-08T14:47:23Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I’m still in shock over the earlier posts. That’s the harshest **Beckdawreck** has EVER been, by far. > > It was well deserved, too. Didn’t know you had it in ya, Beck! _high five_ Yeah, when even Beck calls you out, you done bad, bad, bad. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/280 "2020-02-08T15:08:38Z")
I’d like to think that\*\* Declanium\*\* has had a chance to think about her general approach to this issue and realizes that some of the extreme ways she’s phrased her feelings was an over-reaction. It’s reasonable to be angry with your kids when they have screwed up and deeply disappointed you with respect to crossing certain lines. I recognize that to some, me among them if I’m honest, discovering you kid has been smoking pot can come as a bit of a shock to the system. It’s reasonable to be angry with them and it’s reasonable to do some soul searching about where you may have gone wrong as a parent. The fact that they’ve managed to hide it from you for an extended period of time does not help because there is some sense of a long standing deceit. i.e. They were so sweet on Christmas but were sneaking around and lying the rest of the time. Who are they? Right. Get all that. But as an adult and a parent, there has to be a sense of perspective that kicks in after the initial shock and disappointment. There is an adjustment period of reconciling your anger with their poor decisions and your love for them. Hopefully, **Declanium** will realize that love must endure and that coming to terms with the anger and disappointment is the hard work of a responsible parent that is required of her. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539.md?page=15)