# Declanium is a sorry excuse for a mother. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 6, 2020, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539 "2020-02-06T14:23:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/281 "2020-02-08T15:09:55Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > And I should keep up loving relationships with them regardless. You don’t really love them now. What start? ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/282 "2020-02-08T15:16:46Z")
I was thinking about this thread as I walked my dog this morning. The trolling is obvious to me, it all started with a simple enough thread in which s/he said that her kids were smoking pot and she was upset. But as it builds s/he keeps adding more and more absurd details, now she’s not going to her sons’ weddings because of this and she’s worried about the dog because the kid had sworn on the life of the dog (who does that?); next s/he’ll come in to say s/he killed the dog to teach them a lesson. I’m convinced some of you realize that \*\* Declanium\*\*, is trolling, but that you’re enjoying the ride. \*\* Declanium\*\* Is like a heel in professional wrestling, you know it’s an act, but it’s fun to stand on your chair and boo. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/283 "2020-02-08T15:35:04Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > … now she’s not going to her sons’ weddings because of this … > [@madmonk28](#): > > I’m convinced some of you realize that \*\* Declanium\*\*, is trolling, but that you’re enjoying the ride. \*\* Declanium\*\* Is like a heel in professional wrestling, you know it’s an act, but it’s fun to stand on your chair and boo. You don’t consider that it’s just part of her over-reaction? She’s still trippin’. And not in a good way. I’m sure we all agree she could use some of that pot her kids have been smoking. It would do her a lot of good. What she needs is some time to deal with her anger issues. Maybe professional help of the kind she hasn’t been getting (or working) to focus on her obsessive black & white thinking. What you see as troll acting is more easily explained by her being defensive. She doesn’t come across as an entirely flexible and rational thinker. If she was, she probably would not have expressed herself in the ways that she has, or even started a thread about it. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/284 "2020-02-08T15:57:29Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > Why do the mods here let trolls go on for years? It’s the Dope’s culture. Well, you for one seem to enjoy feeding them.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/285 "2020-02-08T16:03:24Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Well, you for one seem to enjoy feeding them.🙂 I paid my $30 or what the fuck ever it was, so I’m going to post when I want to. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/286 "2020-02-08T16:18:11Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I paid my $30 or what the fuck ever it was, so I’m going to post when I want to. Speaking of anger issues… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/287 "2020-02-08T17:09:53Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > And I should keep up loving relationships with them regardless… > > Am I right? Yes, this. You’re their mother. You should love them unconditionally. That’s what everybody is trying to tell you. Forgive them if they’ve done wrong in your eyes. Don’t forsake them. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/288 "2020-02-08T17:31:52Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I paid my $30 or what the fuck ever it was, so I’m going to post when I want to. I never said you shouldn’t. It’s just hypocritical to complain about trolling when you are enthusiastically standing on your chair and booing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chingon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chingon/32/17645_2.png) [@Chingon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chingon)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/289 "2020-02-08T17:46:26Z")
It’s delusional to think that ignoring them will make trolls go away. Only the mods have the power to stop them, but the ones here are too out of touch to address the problem. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/290 "2020-02-08T17:49:39Z")
The theory behind “Do not feed the troll” is that what they seek (at least what some of them are seeking) is attention. So responding to them is giving them what they want. Personally, there have been cases where I was suspicious of a poster and I tend to avoid participating in their threads. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/291 "2020-02-08T17:55:04Z")
> [@Chingon](#): > > It’s delusional to think that ignoring them will make trolls go away. Only the mods have the power to stop them, but the ones here are too out of touch to address the problem. Be careful what you wish for, considering your own posting history.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Chingon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chingon/32/17645_2.png) [@Chingon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chingon)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/292 "2020-02-08T17:57:37Z")
Oh noes ---
**Author:** ![road\_lobo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d78d45/32.png) [@road\_lobo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/road_lobo)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/293 "2020-02-08T19:19:31Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > Maybe my boys are oblivious to my inner feelings. How is anyone to know your inner feelings? Do you actually expect your sons to read your mind? ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/294 "2020-02-08T20:11:15Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I’m still in shock over the earlier posts. That’s the harshest **Beckdawreck** has EVER been, by far. > > It was well deserved, too. Didn’t know you had it in ya, Beck! _high five_ IKR? Never seen Beck lay a smackdown on a fool before. Beck, don’t forget to add the “Bless your heart!” to really drive it home. ---
**Author:** ![HelenGawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@HelenGawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelenGawn)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2020, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/295 "2020-02-08T23:02:46Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > What she needs is some time to deal with her anger issues. Maybe professional help of the kind she hasn’t been getting (or working) to focus on her obsessive black & white thinking. **[Concatenated because I haven’t used that word in forty years.]** This. Forgive me for not slogging through these twin fusterclucks, but has she said she’s spent any time with the boys actually talking about how she feels? How she feels rejected and a failure because they crossed her “one red line”? Hell, did they even _know_ it was a red line and what that meant? I’d be stunned to learn that my mother, who I had a wonderful, loving, forgiving relationship would cut me out of my life for _any_ reason. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2020, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/296 "2020-02-09T06:47:29Z")
When **BECK** tears you a new one, you KNOW you’ve fucked up. ---
**Author:** ![GreenWyvern](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greenwyvern/32/2834_2.png) [@GreenWyvern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenWyvern)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2020, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/297 "2020-02-09T12:03:24Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > Maybe my boys are oblivious to my inner feelings. You’ve told us that your niece was reading these threads on the SDMB with you, so _she_ is certainly fully aware of your inner feelings. How much do your nieces communicate with your sons? I would find it hard to believe that they haven’t spoken to their cousins, and let them know how their mother feels about this. Maybe even pointed them to the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2020, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/298 "2020-02-09T15:51:45Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Yes, this. You’re their mother. You should love them unconditionally. Not that I think it applies in this particular case, nothing wrong with a little dagga, but as a general rule, this is bullshit. Plenty of things damn well \*should \*be a reason to stop loving your own kid - if they rape someone, or murder a school full of kids, or vote Republican… ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2020, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/299 "2020-02-09T16:14:41Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Not that I think it applies in this particular case, nothing wrong with a little dagga, but as a general rule, this is bullshit. Plenty of things damn well \*should \*be a reason to stop loving your own kid - if they rape someone, or murder a school full of kids, or vote Republican… And everybody knows that smoking weed is a gateway to all of those behaviors. :rolleyes: Not that I listen to any of your bullshit, Dribble. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2020, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/300 "2020-02-09T16:35:58Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > And everybody knows that smoking weed is a gateway to all of those behaviors. :rolleyes: Did you read the first part of what I posted, you idiotic shitgibbon? > [@](#): > > Not that I listen to any of your bullshit, Dribble. That’s nice dear. Love the username humour, too - so novel and edgy. Very _au courant_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539.md?page=16)