# Declanium is a sorry excuse for a mother. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 6, 2020, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539 "2020-02-06T14:23:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2020, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/381 "2020-02-09T23:43:37Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > No. Not Mormon > > So hard to believe that not all ppl do drugs? More than half of American adults have tried marijuana at least once in their lives, according to the survey. From [https://www.sacbee.com/news/nation-world/national/article145681414.html](https://www.sacbee.com/news/nation-world/national/article145681414.html) So. That’s one of every two people. More, actually, but do you know more than your husband, yourself and your two kids. Statistically, every other person you know may have tried that devil’s lettuce. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2020, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/382 "2020-02-09T23:55:50Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > No. Not Mormon > > So hard to believe that not all ppl do drugs? It’s this black and white, all or none attitude that makes you just the worst kind of person. Nobody is saying “all people do drugs.” We’re saying lots of ppl to drugs. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/383 "2020-02-10T00:06:08Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Assuming **Declanium** is sincere, she reminds me of the Mary Tyler Moore character in _[Ordinary People](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ordinary_People)_, a 1980 movie about a family whose beloved older son is killed in a boating accident. She blames the younger son for the death and cannot forgive him or show any sign of loving him, so at the end of the movie, she leaves the son and her husband, abandoning the family. **Declanium** ought to do the same thing. emotionally, she already HAS abandoned her sons. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/384 "2020-02-10T00:24:34Z")
…as the **umkay** ening lumbers along… Prediction: 12-pager. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/385 "2020-02-10T00:26:07Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > > [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > > > Assuming **Declanium** is sincere, she reminds me of the Mary Tyler Moore character in _[Ordinary People](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ordinary_People)_, a 1980 movie about a family whose beloved older son is killed in a boating accident. She blames the younger son for the death and cannot forgive him or show any sign of loving him, so at the end of the movie, she leaves the son and her husband, abandoning the family. **Declanium** ought to do the same thing. > > emotionally, she already HAS abandoned her sons. The Mary Tyler Moore character in the film had already emotionally abandoned the surviving younger son (played by Timothy Hutton, in an Oscar-winning performance) but didn’t leave the family until the end of the film. My point is that **Declanium** should also leave her family (again, assuming that she is sincere here). ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Crap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.crap/32/3131_2.png) [@Dr.Crap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Crap)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/386 "2020-02-10T00:35:29Z")
I have taken possession of Declanium’s sons; they will join my band of orphaned pickpockets. She will receive a small cut of their earnings to support her new childrens’ pancake breakfasts. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/387 "2020-02-10T00:53:06Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > Let me take a wild guess here. > Expectopatronum is a pothead She isn’t. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, but after this afternoon’s performance, you’re either a troll or an extremely sick human (or both). Leave your children and your husband. They’ll be better off. No doubt they already know that. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/388 "2020-02-10T01:22:40Z")
Um. Why are all you folks so concerned about this woman’s shitty parenting that this thread is up to nearly 400 posts? Fuck her, fuck her kids, fuck her husband, fuck her dear old Aunt Petunia, and fuck the pig they all came riding in here on. ---
**Author:** ![tricoteuse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tricoteuse/32/4334_2.png) [@tricoteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tricoteuse)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/389 "2020-02-10T01:39:26Z")
> [@chela](#): > > Your fascination with the cremains in your underpants which you try to read like teal leaves to explain your relationships would be funny if it weren’t so pitiful. Cremains? Teal leaves? I think that’s what the infinite monkeys with infinite typewriters came up with instead of the works of Shakespeare. > [@raventhief](#): > > What the actual fuck chela? Cremains? Is there some sort of fucked history I’m unaware of here between you and tricoteuse? Cause you seem to be acting like a real dick. I’ve never even interacted with him or her before. > [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > geez, trying to follow the thread’s flow, here. > [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](#): > > Heavy. > [@cochrane](#): > > Great Scott! > [@Green\_Bean](#): > > O B nice! (gives Id, I Love Me, Cochrane, and Green Bean the MOM LOOK.) You four go to your rooms right now and think about what you did. If you smoke pot while you’re in there don’t go putting any ashes in my undies! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/390 "2020-02-10T02:36:45Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > Um. Why are all you folks so concerned about this woman’s shitty parenting that this thread is up to nearly 400 posts? > > Fuck her, fuck her kids, fuck her husband, fuck her dear old Aunt Petunia, and fuck the pig they all came riding in here on. It passes the time. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/391 "2020-02-10T03:11:31Z")
I dunno…it just felt like after a certain period of time that a lot of the arguments/posits/ignorings were like a vicious cycle that I honestly won’t bother ragging on any more. If the OP has any thoughts on this, please, share - I’ll gladly absorb anything she can proffer. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/392 "2020-02-10T03:20:03Z")
Well I stole prescription drugs from both my parents and they still ostensibly love and support me. Ok well I’m not sure about Dad, but I know my Mommy loves me. Sounds like the OP really needs to get laid by her husband to get a lock on that anxiety. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/393 "2020-02-10T03:26:13Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > You’re sweet too, expectopatronum. > > And no, puzzlegal. Friends weren’t involved. That’s what makes it so insidious. The 14 year old was curious. Bought the damn stuff and then offered it to the 16 year old brother. Became their thing. > [@raventhief](#): > > And you believe that? Well, so long as she believes that she won’t get any of the other kids in trouble with the law. I’d be pretty worried about that if I were her son. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/394 "2020-02-10T03:39:44Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > She isn’t. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, but after this afternoon’s performance, you’re either a troll or an extremely sick human (or both). Leave your children and your husband. They’ll be better off. No doubt they already know that. So you pile on a sick human? What a dirtbag you are. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/395 "2020-02-10T04:11:06Z")
Oh fuck off, you numb cunt. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/396 "2020-02-10T04:33:54Z")
> [@chela](#): > > So you pile on a sick human? What a dirtbag you are. What the fuck is wrong with you? ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/397 "2020-02-10T04:56:01Z")
> [@chela](#): > > So you pile on a sick human? What a dirtbag you are. Back the fuck off. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/398 "2020-02-10T04:58:35Z")
> [@chela](#): > > So you pile on a sick human? What a dirtbag you are. > [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > What the fuck is wrong with you? Just another fucking troll. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/399 "2020-02-10T06:59:16Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > Um. Why are all you folks so concerned about this woman’s shitty parenting that this thread is up to nearly 400 posts? > > Fuck her, fuck her kids, fuck her husband, fuck her dear old Aunt Petunia, and fuck the pig they all came riding in here on. No pig-fucking. Coronavirus alerts here in Aus recommend not having unprotected fucks with animals, domestic, native or feral. Wise advice. :D:D ---
**Author:** ![slash2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@slash2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slash2k)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2020, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/400 "2020-02-10T07:28:29Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > Ok, I got a lot of negative backlash on this thread yet my “done with my sons” thread was refreshed due to an opinion I had posted on a different thread re:telling a child’s future at 16. > I had posted yes, IMO, you could. And that I had adjusted my expectations for my sons based upon their drug use in teen years. > Strange because I think parents readjust expectations on the regular with their offspring. > Ex. Star athlete on track for college scholarship or NFL or NBA and there is a debilitating knee injury in high school. Readjust. And different outcome. A better analogy: you just saw your star athlete child tumble to the ground in a football game. You haven’t even seen whether they get back up under their own power and continue playing, much less talked to the doctor or the trainer, but you have decided on no evidence whatsoever that this stumble means their athletic career is over. Some people develop lifelong drug problems, but most do not (even as some people have debilitating injuries when they fall, but most do not). You have no idea whatsoever whether your sons are just going through a phase or are going to be drug abusers. Repeat after me: YOU HAVE NO IDEA. You won’t be able know probably for years, but for whatever reason, some part of you needs to have an answer now, and you have leaped to the worst possible outcome, rather than the most likely outcome. Why you feel the need to do that is something you should explore with your therapist. Yes, you do know people who have used weed. We all do. You just don’t know that they did, and since I doubt you are shy about expressing your opinions, why would you expect them to tell you? Most pot-users go on to lead successful and productive lives; pot isn’t a huge deal for them, it’s not a consuming feature of their lives, it may not even be a feature in their lives at all anymore, and it’s not something they need to make public, most assuredly not to somebody who is going to go nuclear and ostracize them. For the record: I have never even tried marijuana, and have never felt the urge to do so. However, I know people whom I know have, and I likely know others who haven’t told me so. Most of the people I know, including most of the people I know who have used, are successful citizens with productive lives. THAT is reality; whatever is going on in your head isn’t based on anything in this version of space-time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539.md?page=21)