# Declanium is a sorry excuse for a mother. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 6, 2020, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539 "2020-02-06T14:23:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Declanium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5daacb/32.png) [@Declanium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declanium)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/81 "2020-02-06T20:59:46Z")
Yes, pot is worse. The fact that he met the dealer in our street is bothering me. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/82 "2020-02-06T21:02:33Z")
> [@Unreconstructed\_Man](#): > > You’re a troll, posting for reactions. You don’t believe what you say and I sincerely doubt you have any kids. Worse, you’re a _boring_ troll. I suggest stepping up your game. Next post, try telling us you’ve bricked your kids up in your basement ‘Cask of Amontillado’ style. Or perhaps just nonchalantly mention you’re looking for a good place to rent a wood chipper. That kind of thing. Just don’t forget the bug-eyed maniacal laughter. That’s what’s gonna sell it. I agree. Baking cookies Christmas morning, disowned by evening. No mother would react that way to good kids who, at worst, screwed up and did something “unforgivable.” Shit, I have a kid who attended a Trump rally, and I still let her in the house. (if she admitted she _voted_ for Trump, then sure, she’d have to go.) ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/83 "2020-02-06T21:03:06Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > Yes, pot is worse. The fact that he met the dealer in our street is bothering me. Okay. So you object to the seediness of him getting pot from a local dealer. Is that worse than buying a bottle of JD from an older friend with a fake ID? ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/84 "2020-02-06T21:04:30Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > Yes, pot is worse. The fact that he met the dealer in our street is bothering me. “Dealer,” that’s cute. I had a college roommate who sold pot to other students. It was a huge paid, because people were knocking on our door all hours of the day and night. I think he’s a judge now. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/85 "2020-02-06T21:04:40Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I agree. Baking cookies Christmas morning, disowned by evening. No mother would react that way to good kids who, at worst, screwed up and did something “unforgivable.” Shit, I have a kid who attended a Trump rally, and I still let her in the house. (if she admitted she _voted_ for Trump, then sure, she’d have to go.) You’d let her go?? Luxury! ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/86 "2020-02-06T21:07:06Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > You’d let her go?? Luxury! I guess I wasn’t clear. I’d disown her. Immediately and without recourse. No counseling either. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/87 "2020-02-06T21:07:49Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > You can believe what you want, needscoffee. But prior to finding this out on Christmas Day, we had spent Xmas eve together, baking cookies, drinking cocoa and watching Christmas movies, as per our tradition. > We were a typical family. No one is perfect but we had a good time. Family vacations, get together with relatives. Sleepovers and pancake breakfasts. I don’t know what void they were trying to fill. Uh, maybe the void caused my an ignorant dipshit for a mother who flies of the rails over something so petty? ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/88 "2020-02-06T21:09:14Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > Yes, pot is worse. The fact that he met the dealer in our street is bothering me. So if he got it legally from a dispensary, then you’d love him again? ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/89 "2020-02-06T21:11:11Z")
You are either trolling hard or seriously fucked up. I hope you’re trolling. But if you’re not, yes you should probably stay away from your sons because they need a real parent, not an extreme thinker who believes it’s perfectly fine to disown their teens because they smoke cannabis. I’m thinking you’re trolling though especially with that silly “dealer” comment. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/90 "2020-02-06T21:12:02Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I guess I wasn’t clear. I’d disown her. Immediately and without recourse. No counseling either. So you’d set her free, out there in the world, to vote for Trump, again? ---
**Author:** ![Declanium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5daacb/32.png) [@Declanium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declanium)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/91 "2020-02-06T21:14:03Z")
Ok, rushgeekgirl. You’re a mom. How do you deal with your kids smoking weed for a year? Spending $1000 on it? ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/92 "2020-02-06T21:17:45Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > How do you deal with your kids smoking weed for a year? Spending $1000 on it? Depends. How’s the kid doing otherwise? How are his grades? Is he socially well adjusted? Does he have hobbies/interests? Play sports? Part time job? Good friends? What else is going on with him? ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/93 "2020-02-06T21:18:00Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Okay. So you object to the seediness of him getting pot from a local dealer. Is that worse than buying a bottle of JD from an older friend with a fake ID? Yeah, how come going to somebody for illegal alcohol isn’t going to your ‘dealer’ but pot sales are? It’d probably be the same classmate, anyway. I can only assume the OP is so fucking stupid that she doesn’t realize that a teenager getting alcohol is getting it from…a _criminal_. (And I’m not exaggerating. I’m currently defending a guy against criminal charges because he let his kids invite some friends over to have a small party where there was drinking). … By the way, as somebody who has spent many hours in a therapist’s office, the advice I’m sure a trained person who be giving Declanium would be along the lines of, “Get off your cross.” We called it the ‘martyr complex’. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/94 "2020-02-06T21:18:47Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > Ok, rushgeekgirl. You’re a mom. > How do you deal with your kids smoking weed for a year? Spending $1000 on it? Make fun of the stupid troll. It’s sounding desperate. Time for your next sock, this one has no credibility left. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/95 "2020-02-06T21:25:23Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > I realize you’re probably right. I should leave the family. I can’t imagine me getting past this incident. Yeah, you really should. My family has always been a place of unconditional love. The one constant in my life is the knowledge that they will always love me and always be there for me no matter what I do or how badly I fuck up. And I’ve fucked up. And my other family members have fucked up even worse. And no matter how many problems or challenges are caused by these fuck-ups, my beautiful dysfunctional family will always be my port in a storm. I can’t imagine life without them. I feel sad and sorry for your kids. They deserve so much more. ETA: I’m 63. Most of my friends and family members smoke weed with their adult children. It’s fun. ---
**Author:** ![Declanium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5daacb/32.png) [@Declanium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declanium)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/96 "2020-02-06T21:33:55Z")
Yeah, ok Ann Hedonia. Another comment suggesting that smoking drugs with your kid is fun. Not gonna happen. Try to think of something you’re not into at all. I dunno - maybe like a church service. I could suggest to you that I go with my family to church and you might think “nope, not my bag.” ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/97 "2020-02-06T21:37:05Z")
Declanium, in case you’re not a troll (which is pretty questionable based on your out-of-proportion responses), you don’t seem to understand how parenting works. You signed up for the job. You don’t get to sign out over something like pot smoking. You’re behaving like a self-centered narcissistic child. Statistics show that the larger percentage of pot experimenters will give it up. You’ve ignored all the posters here who have attested to this. Grow up. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/98 "2020-02-06T21:41:06Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > Yeah, ok Ann Hedonia. Another comment suggesting that smoking drugs with your kid is fun. > Not gonna happen. > Try to think of something you’re not into at all. I dunno - maybe like a church service. I could suggest to you that I go with my family to church and you might think “nope, not my bag.” I’m not into church at all. I’m not a religious person and I don’t believe in God. But I go to church often enough. Because it’s important to some members of my family and sometimes they want me to go, on holidays, special occasions or maybe one of them is singing or speaking. I do this because I love them and I love sharing experiences with them. Just like I might go to a movie or restaurant I’m not particularly into, because a family member wants to go. Because Love. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/99 "2020-02-06T21:42:41Z")
The thread that spawned this one in the pit is without doubt the weirdest shit I think I’ve ever read on this board. Maybe, MAYBE if it was 1950, I could understand the fear around the evil weed, but 2020? Dope has been around since I was a kid. I’ve smoked it, lots of it in my youth, and if someone offers me a joint today I’ll happily partake. But it’s probably 3 years or so since I’ve had any, and most likely will be another few before I’ll get another opportunity. Oh, by the way, I’m 59. So Declanium, if you’re not a troll, you’re a very sick puppy for even considering abandoning your kids over something so fucking trivial. Grow the fuck up. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539/100 "2020-02-06T21:45:11Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Declanium, in case you’re not a troll (which is pretty questionable based on your out-of-proportion responses), you don’t seem to understand how parenting works. You signed up for the job. You don’t get to sign out over something like pot smoking. You’re behaving like a self-centered narcissistic child. This bears repeating non-stop until it sinks in [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/declanium-is-a-sorry-excuse-for-a-mother/847539.md?page=6)