# Decoding more datespeak: What do women mean when they say they want intellectual stimulation? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 26, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-more-datespeak-what-do-women-mean-when-they-say-they-want-intellectual-stimulation/590423 "2011-07-26T19:55:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Miss\_Woodhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@Miss\_Woodhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Woodhouse)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2011, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-more-datespeak-what-do-women-mean-when-they-say-they-want-intellectual-stimulation/590423/61 "2011-07-29T23:10:48Z")
I’m shocked no one has called **astro** on his blatant sexism yet. Listen, closemindedness and a desperate desire to always be right goes both ways. I’ve known just as many men as women who can’t handle being challenged. I wonder if you are not a very fun man to date. Intellectual stimulation isn’t always about being challenged. It’s about exploring ideas together. If one’s date takes the opposite view of every idea you express, he’s obviously someone you don’t want to date for longer than the time it takes to get the check to the table. You obviously have nothing in common and should end things immediately. You might want to re-evaluate your conversation strategies or do some better pre-screening before you ask a girl out. There are a few who do like arguing for the sake of argument. You have to look for them though. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2011, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-more-datespeak-what-do-women-mean-when-they-say-they-want-intellectual-stimulation/590423/62 "2011-07-29T23:19:18Z")
> [@Miss\_Woodhouse](#): > > I’m shocked no one has called **astro** on his blatant sexism yet. Listen, closemindedness and a desperate desire to always be right goes both ways. I’ve known just as many men as women who can’t handle being challenged. I wonder if you are not a very fun man to date. Intellectual stimulation isn’t always about being challenged. It’s about exploring ideas together. If one’s date takes the opposite view of every idea you express, he’s obviously someone you don’t want to date for longer than the time it takes to get the check to the table. You obviously have nothing in common and should end things immediately. > > You might want to re-evaluate your conversation strategies or do some better pre-screening before you ask a girl out. There are a few who do like arguing for the sake of argument. You have to look for them though. I’m all about fun. I drive the fun bus. Wherever there is fun, there I am at the wheel, making witty comments, arching my eyebrow at appropriate times, throwing in a bon mot, and letting her know I “get” where she’s coming from. I can talk about _anything,_ I’m the most fascinating person she’s ever met. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2011, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-more-datespeak-what-do-women-mean-when-they-say-they-want-intellectual-stimulation/590423/63 "2011-07-30T01:44:14Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > Yeah, and I was a framer/carpenter, building all sorts of crap, and I call BS on that. I still managed to keep up with current events, try to have an educated opinion about the world around me, and still managed to read, and go out and do stuff to enrich my pea brain. I was dirt poor, but I could hold my end up in a good conversation. You too, huh? ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2011, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-more-datespeak-what-do-women-mean-when-they-say-they-want-intellectual-stimulation/590423/64 "2011-07-30T10:20:44Z")
It means she wants you to be college educated, have a good job and not a total cartoon and sports watching dumbass so that when her friends meet you, they think you’re a great catch. ---
**Author:** ![sjankis630](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ea924/32.png) [@sjankis630](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sjankis630)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2011, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-more-datespeak-what-do-women-mean-when-they-say-they-want-intellectual-stimulation/590423/65 "2011-07-31T00:38:39Z")
There are some funny replies here. Someone mentioned further up the thread. > [@](#): > > If someone wants to play devil’s advocate everytime you express a view about politics or something else, it gets in the way of figuring all that out. Debates should be delayed until its clear that both people respect each other’s intelligence My advice would be to try and steer clear of politics and religion early on. It tends to polarize some people and could be a potential deal killer before you actually get to know the person. They are landmines out there waiting to be stepped on. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2011, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-more-datespeak-what-do-women-mean-when-they-say-they-want-intellectual-stimulation/590423/66 "2011-07-31T06:42:58Z")
> [@sjankis630](#): > > My advice would be to try and steer clear of politics and religion early on. It tends to polarize some people and could be a potential deal killer before you actually get to know the person. They are landmines out there waiting to be stepped on. Hell no. I’d personally really like to know someone’s stances on both those things right up front. Those are _big_ things, and can point to fundamental incompatibility. A devoutly religious woman could be the sweetest person in the world and any relationship we might have would still be strained. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2011, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-more-datespeak-what-do-women-mean-when-they-say-they-want-intellectual-stimulation/590423/67 "2011-07-31T12:52:00Z")
A good primer for this sub-topic is the book _How to Have Sex with Ann Coulter (If You Must)_ ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2011, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-more-datespeak-what-do-women-mean-when-they-say-they-want-intellectual-stimulation/590423/68 "2011-07-31T16:56:14Z")
> [@sjankis630](#): > > My advice would be to try and steer clear of politics and religion early on. It tends to polarize some people and could be a potential deal killer before you actually get to know the person. They are landmines out there waiting to be stepped on. True, but only if you and other person have completely different ideas about those subjects. Might as well figure out where you stand early on rather than wait until after the engagment rings come out. I would say it’s only bad to talk about politics and religion with a new dating partner if you’re not trying to have anything serious with them. I’ll never forget a first date I had with this one guy. Less than 30 minutes in, we got on the subject of Creation. Just about everything he said struck me as stupid and trite. I so wanted to just nod my head and let it all roll off my back, but I got sucked into debating him. Killed whatever chemistry we might have had. ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2011, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-more-datespeak-what-do-women-mean-when-they-say-they-want-intellectual-stimulation/590423/69 "2011-08-01T18:26:25Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Hell no. I’d personally really like to know someone’s stances on both those things right up front. Those are _big_ things, and can point to fundamental incompatibility. A devoutly religious woman could be the sweetest person in the world and any relationship we might have would still be strained. Agreed 100%. I want to know these kinds of things at date 1 or maybe 2. It might be because I can be an argumentative asshole about these topics, or you can interpreted it as being interested in what/how the other person thinks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-more-datespeak-what-do-women-mean-when-they-say-they-want-intellectual-stimulation/590423.md?page=3)