# Decoding woman-speak **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 26, 2005, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108 "2005-04-26T01:53:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/41 "2005-04-26T18:26:00Z")
Wow. _This_ thread is certainly being taken entirely too seriously. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/42 "2005-04-26T18:28:36Z")
> [@Elysian](#): > > Instead of being a “funny” thread where men attack women, it’s a mean-spirited thread where men attack ME. Great! Thanks a lot, people. 😃 Yet **another** example of where the woman takes a general comment and personalizes it. Typical. _…What??_😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/43 "2005-04-26T18:29:08Z")
> [@Elysian](#): > > Tell me that you haven’t gone to the bathroom with the lights out. I haven’t gone to the bathroom with the lights out. > [@](#): > > There is another thread, as **JohnT** has so gallantly reminded me, about men. And there is an awful lot of sexism in that thread, too. I haven’t gone over there yet because I’m a woman, and I’m going to defend women. Ah, so you only care about sexism if it hits you. Gotcha. ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/44 "2005-04-26T18:35:44Z")
Again, if you have a problem, go over to that thread _yourself_. I’m handling this one very well 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/45 "2005-04-26T18:38:01Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Yet **another** example of where the woman takes a general comment and personalizes it. Typical. > _…What??_😉 Well, it _is_ all about me, you know 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/46 "2005-04-26T18:39:51Z")
Again, if you have a problem, go over to that thread yourself. _Yes, I only care about sexism when it hits me._ I’m handling this one very well _I’m getting slapped, but modern strong proud independent women like me don’t get slapped, so I’ll pretend I’m doing fine._ Well, it is all about me, you know _Well…_ No, this one actually seems to be straight-talking. Fancy that. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/47 "2005-04-26T18:43:51Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > Wow. _This_ thread is certainly being taken entirely too seriously. Only by one person. ---
**Author:** ![Scarface\_Z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Scarface\_Z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarface_Z)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/48 "2005-04-26T19:07:12Z")
“I’m handling this one very well” + “Well, it _is_ all about me, you know” _Why aren’t any other women backing me up?_ Seriously, this thread needs to get back to it’s original light humor. Hmm, that’s a bit of an oxymoronic statement, though isn’t it ? I love you. \*I don’t care what you think or where our relationship is right now, you \*\*will \*_say the words._ I don’t think I can deal with a relationship right now. _I can’t deal with you ever because you’re a loser. Back away slowly, and don’t look me in the eye._ ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/49 "2005-04-26T19:13:46Z")
Notice anything different me? _Because see I’ve parted my hair a millimiter to the left, and I’ve plucked 4 eyebrows and drew them back in, and instead of my normal cherry lipstick, it’s strawberry. Come on, I’m a new woman!!!_ Are you busy? _Because I just happen to have this honey do list_ ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/50 "2005-04-26T20:00:46Z")
I’m going to totally back **Elysian** on this one. Usually when this kind of stuff comes up, I blow it off, figuring it’s not worth my time. But **Elysian** has a very valid point. Please don’t lump me in with 51% of the population. Please don’t assume that everything I say is a calculated attempt to screw you over. Please don’t keep patronize me (or Elysian, or any other woman) by patting me on the head, and telling me that you know what I mean better then I do. You might think you’re being witty and intelligent by discovering what women “really mean” when we say something. I think you are failing to listen to what we really have to say and triviallizing us. So, now you can all go back to your no-girls-allowed treehouse with the secret handshake, and I can go back to ignoring these threads. ---
**Author:** ![laurelann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5daacb/32.png) [@laurelann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/laurelann)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/51 "2005-04-26T20:02:50Z")
Do these pants make me look fat? _I can’t decide whether or not to wear these. You’re the only one I plan on having look at my ass. What do you think?_ What’s wrong? _You look like you’re about to burst out into tears, but you won’t talk about it._ We never do anything anymore, can we go out? _I’m tired of sitting in while you play video games. I don’t care if I pay. Get me out of this building!_ I’m tired _pout_ _Snuggle me._ You’re so cute! _Snuggle me._ You’re so good to me! _Snuggle me, dammit._ ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/52 "2005-04-26T20:16:49Z")
Hey, **msmith** , I already know what you are. You don’t have to go out of your way to prove it. _I want you…sexually_ ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/53 "2005-04-26T20:17:04Z")
> [@Tastes of Chocolate](#): > > I’m going to totally back **Elysian** on this one. Usually when this kind of stuff comes up, I blow it off, figuring it’s not worth my time. > > But **Elysian** has a very valid point. Please don’t lump me in with 51% of the population. Please don’t assume that everything I say is a calculated attempt to screw you over. Please don’t keep patronize me (or Elysian, or any other woman) by patting me on the head, and telling me that you know what I mean better then I do. > > You might think you’re being witty and intelligent by discovering what women “really mean” when we say something. I think you are failing to listen to what we really have to say and triviallizing us. So, now you can all go back to your no-girls-allowed treehouse with the secret handshake, and I can go back to ignoring these threads. Jebus Cripes, it’s a joke. Nobody but you and **Elysian** are taking this seriously. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/54 "2005-04-26T20:19:31Z")
…and me. Sure, this is probably approached in a spirit of harmless fun, but I really do think it’s symptomatic. There’s nothing to be gained by treating communication problems you may be having in a relationship as being attributable to some weird tendency universal to the other gender. I was planning to just ignore both of these threads, but I didn’t want **Elysian** and **ToC** to feel they were without support. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/55 "2005-04-26T20:26:03Z")
> [@](#): > > You might think you’re being witty and intelligent by discovering what women “really mean” when we say something. I think you are failing to listen to what we really have to say and triviallizing us. So, now you can all go back to your no-girls-allowed treehouse with the secret handshake, and I can go back to ignoring these threads. Translation: _I have PMS_ Regards, Shodan 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/56 "2005-04-26T20:30:26Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > …and me. Sure, this is probably approached in a spirit of harmless fun, but I really do think it’s symptomatic. There’s nothing to be gained by treating communication problems you may be having in a relationship as being attributable to some weird tendency universal to the other gender. > > I was planning to just ignore both of these threads, but I didn’t want **Elysian** and **ToC** to feel they were without support. You know, we would actually believe that _if the whining were happening in both threads_. But it’s not - it’s just happening in this one. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/57 "2005-04-26T20:41:09Z")
You can see when the toilet lid is up if the lights are on. I’ve had the unfortunate experience of going to the bathroom without turning the lights on and dipping my cheeks in the water. My father was very bad about leaving the seat up. I didn’t turn the lights on because it would have blinded me. Tell me that you haven’t gone to the bathroom with the lights out. _You all have to accommodate my comfort, because I couldn’t be arsed to let my eyes readjust._ Wow, this game is fun! ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/58 "2005-04-26T20:45:53Z")
> [@Stuffy](#): > > Notice anything different me? > _Because see I’ve parted my hair a millimiter to the left, and I’ve plucked 4 eyebrows and drew them back in, and instead of my normal cherry lipstick, it’s strawberry. Come on, I’m a new woman!!!_ You know women with 4 eyebrows? I’ve only got 2. I think that’s standard issue. Some of us only have 1. Ah, the deprivation some people must endure. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/59 "2005-04-26T21:28:36Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Translation: _I have PMS_ 😃 Translation: \* I really have nothing witty to say, but I’m not going to let that stop me.\* ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/60 "2005-04-26T21:59:32Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > …and me. Sure, this is probably approached in a spirit of harmless fun, but I really do think it’s symptomatic. There’s nothing to be gained by treating communication problems you may be having in a relationship as being attributable to some weird tendency universal to the other gender. Symptomatic of what? That women and men are socialized differently, so they tend to analyze situations differently and that results in communication problems? I like to think that we break new ground on the SDMB, but this isn’t exactly a shocking new discovery. It’s something that’s been covered by, oh, I don’t know, _every man and woman on the planet, ever_. Is it worthwhile to point out (not just to **matt\_mcl** , to everybody) that interpreting all this as “bitter and mean-spirited” does nothing more than reinforce the very same stereotype? There are three ways to react to a thread like this: 1. Ignore it, saying, “Yeah, that was all funnier when Sinbad used it in his stand-up routine 15 years ago.” 2. Get all offended and uptight, saying “Well _I’m_ not like that at all, and I always say exactly what’s on my mind and know exactly what you’re thinking, so it’s _you men_ who are all bitter and mean-spirited and misogynistic!!!” 3. Say, “Heh, I do react like sometimes! People are funny like that. Oh what a delightful, perplexing comedy is mankind.” Hell, I can see stuff that I do in both threads – I can spend long stretches of time just sitting and staring, thinking of literally nothing at all, because I got man bits. And then there are still times when I see the boyfriend sitting and staring, saying nothing, and I think “What are you thinking? Is something wrong? What’s going on?” because apparently, I got woman bits in my brain, too. So either: a) **SolGrundy** is a hermaphrodite (I’m not, not that there’s anything wrong with that), or 2) these are _stereotypes_ and are nothing to get upset about. Unclench, people. You’re making diamonds. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108.md?page=4)