# Decoding woman-speak **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 26, 2005, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108 "2005-04-26T01:53:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2005, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/121 "2005-06-04T02:16:02Z")
> [@dwalin](#): > > Am I the only guy in the entire universe who doesn’t pee standing up? Don’t tell me. The doctor told you not to lift anything heavy. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2005, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/122 "2005-06-04T04:04:39Z")
I just caught up with this thread, so sorry for the delayed reply… > [@Atheist Princess](#): > > Ok, maybe an over-statement. What I meant was that I wouldnt want to embarrass my boyfriend by looking unattractive. I’d want him to be proud to show me off and snuggle me in public…And I think I’d picture something like “Man AP’s ass looks fat…cant belevieMr AP bones that!” I’m not sure how to put this without sounding patronizing, but you’re 17, right? The potential for “embarrassing your boyfriend by looking unattractive” decreases tremendously once you’re out of your early 20s. 🙂 If I can remember that far back, at 17 my friends and I still cared _way_ too much about what other people thought of our boyfriends – and I know that the guys cared even more about how hot their girlfriends were. I’m not saying it ever goes away completely, and of course it’s nice when other people think that my SO is attractive, but when it comes down to it the only thing that matters these days is whether _I_ think that my SO is attractive. If I’m dating him, I’m proud of him – in every way, and no matter what other people think. I hope that made sense, and that it didn’t come across as _too_ condescending! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2005, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/123 "2005-06-04T06:10:33Z")
You guys go ahead and argue. I think this stuf is . . . . well, _was_ fun. I have to wash my hair that night. _Any night you ask about. I wouldn’t be seen in public with a loser like you_. I think of you as a brother. _And I’m not into incest._ I’d like for us to be friends. _What, you thought there was only one “F” word?_ ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2005, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/124 "2005-06-04T08:28:28Z")
> [@dwalin](#): > > Am I the only guy in the entire universe who doesn’t pee standing up? No, there’s me, and David Morse’s character in _Long Kiss Goodnight_… but that’s it, I think. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2005, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/125 "2005-06-04T13:36:29Z")
> [@Priceguy](#): > > No, there’s me, and David Morse’s character in _Long Kiss Goodnight_… but that’s it, I think. I do in my own bathroom, because I can always trust that it’s clean. ---
**Author:** ![gfloyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d2c977/32.png) [@gfloyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gfloyd)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/126 "2005-07-21T08:01:32Z")
yea, so i’m new to SDMB and i saw this thread as one of my female friends posted on it. Women are deceptive so are men. A month ago my SO at the time came out and asked me and my male friends if we thought her make up looked alright, they said yes out of spinal reflex I said there was too much I won She was testing us Nothing=something generally preceding a conversation that will end in Fine Fine=you may be right but you still lost this argument. “Men are asshole, Woman are bitches, and sheep give you rug burn. Whats left?” ---
**Author:** ![PhoenixFire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/cc9497/32.png) [@PhoenixFire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PhoenixFire)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/127 "2005-07-21T08:03:36Z")
> [@gfloyd](#): > > yea, so i’m new to SDMB and i saw this thread as one of my female friends posted on it. > Women are deceptive so are men. > A month ago my SO at the time came out and asked me and my male friends if we thought her make up looked alright, they said yes out of spinal reflex > I said there was too much > I won > She was testing us > > Nothing=something generally preceding a conversation that will end in Fine > Fine=you may be right but you still lost this argument. > > “Men are asshole, Woman are bitches, and sheep give you rug burn. Whats left?” :wally :wally :wally sorry forgot i was under my room mates name, the aforementioned comment was from me ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/128 "2005-07-21T14:59:48Z")
I totally want a LavNav. Tho’ I don’t need to aim, Mr. Snicks would find the bullseye hilarious. We keep the toilet’s lid down, all the time, at Mr. Snicks’s insistence - he had to train me to do so. I like this thread. Women need to get over themselves sometimes. Besides, it learns me, shows me what to work for. Instead of “Oh, I don’t care,” I try to come up with places I’d like to eat when asked. Saves us both hassle. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/129 "2005-07-21T15:37:40Z")
_I_ never leave the seat up. Of course, I do sometimes pee on the seat. You may beg to be mine now. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![PhoenixFire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/cc9497/32.png) [@PhoenixFire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PhoenixFire)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/130 "2005-07-21T19:51:12Z")
Either way they’re still left with a wet ass ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/131 "2005-07-21T20:31:19Z")
He says: You’ve been very quiet. Is there anything that’s bothering you? She says: No, not a thing. Translation:\*Oh there are a GREAT MANY THINGS that are bothering me !!! I’ve been very quiet because these problems have become a festering cauldron of hatred. Sooner or later you are going to hear the unabridged version of what’s been bugging me. I’ll give specific instances, times, dates, places of all the things you did to cause me grief. But I’ll just sit here and stew and think about it … waiting for just the right moment. heh heh heh \* ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/132 "2005-07-21T21:15:07Z")
“I don’t care where we eat.” _If you don’t choose the precise restaurant I have in my head right now, I will be upset with you for the rest of the night, and not tell you why_ -foxy ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108/133 "2005-07-22T01:58:18Z")
> [@](#): > > “Nothing’s wrong…” > > Not only is something wrong, but you’ve got exactly thirty seconds to read my fucking mind to find out what absolutely minuscule and insignificant thing you did to piss me off or you not only won’t hear my voice for three days you won’t have sex again until you grovel for forgiveness for something that wouldn’t offend anybody else on the fucking planet! Honey? Is that you? 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/decoding-woman-speak/301108.md?page=6)