# Deconstruction of Christianity - took 30 years **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 13, 2023, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404 "2023-06-13T05:00:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![NinthAcolyte](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ninthacolyte/32/13676_2.png) [@NinthAcolyte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinthAcolyte)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/21 "2023-06-13T13:28:56Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Finally, I came to realize that - as mentioned above - the only way I could go on believing in Christianity would be if I deliberately held it to a much looser, much lower standard of evidence than I held everything else This is _exactly_ how I explain my deconversion to those who ask. It’s also how I explain my total atheist materialism in discussions of ghosts, aliens, and the Loch Ness Monster. The precise phrase I use is “I apply a consistent standard of evidence.” As someone who was also highly respected in her (at the time, his) church, taught Sunday School, and was widely expected to become a pastor or deacon, I have a great deal of empathy for the challenge of withdrawing - in my case, I had the additional factor of a realization that my Southern Baptist church was an _active force for evil_ that was _actively harming people_, such that my withdrawal was a moral imperative. Whether or not that applies to you/your church is of course for you to decide. I very sincerely hope that this proves to be a good thing for you, and I hope your disentanglement is as smooth and painless as can be. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/22 "2023-06-13T13:59:35Z")
> [@Pardel-Lux](#): > > May I ask what a very devout Christian like her thinks and behaves like? I infer from what you write that you have not yet talked to her about this deconstruction, so I wonder whether you are in for a surprise regarding her views: how do you know what you think you know about her? She’s very devoted to Bible-reading, church-attendance, arguing apologetics on behalf of God. She knows that I’ve been deconstructing, but she thinks it’s just a phase and that I’ll come back after a while. Ironically, she’s a new convert; having become a Christian only 1.5 years ago. Meanwhile I’ve spent my whole life in the church. Everyone at my church expected me to be some role model leader for this woman, shepherding her in her new faith, so to speak (that’s what the elders exhorted me to do - so far, barely anyone at my church knows I’ve deconstructed.) It’s kind of embarrassing that the roles are somewhat reversed in reality. ---
**Author:** ![Heracles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heracles/32/487_2.png) [@Heracles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heracles)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/23 "2023-06-13T14:15:01Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > You’d think that Christians would be frantically scrambling about like mad to save people’s souls. One atheist had commented that if he were a Christian and really believed in Hell, he’d be willing to crawl ten miles on his knees on broken glass just to save one soul. But the average Christian spends less than 1 hour per year in evangelism. It’s not just direct proselytizing. Many have been taught that forcing a gay teen to become straight, or stopping an abortion, are ways of saving souls. I’m not sure I want them to be more consistent if it means they’ll spend more time doing these things. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/24 "2023-06-13T14:17:55Z")
I can only whish you luck and strength. > [@Velocity](#): > > arguing apologetics on behalf of God. I must admit I have no idea what that means. I guess I am not the right interlocutor for your questions. Would asking how often someone can read the bible be considered inappropiate? It is a long book, but sooner or later you would know it by heart, would you not? There are other books, also religious. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/25 "2023-06-13T14:23:46Z")
Sorry, my bad. What I mean is that she’s constantly pointing to evidence for God and God’s goodness, pushing me to accompany her to a creationism science museum, talking about how events in her life point to the guidance of God, etc. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/26 "2023-06-13T14:27:37Z")
> [@Heracles](#): > > Many have been taught that forcing a gay teen to become straight, or stopping an abortion, are ways of saving souls. The funny thing is, by their perverse logic, stopping an abortion should be more a way of losing souls than saving them. Most evangelicals believe most people are going to hell. (Again, what sort of god would run a world like that? But I digress.) Most evangelicals also believe that there’s an ‘age of accountability’ or some such - that is, if a child dies before reaching that age, the child is going to heaven because God’s not going to hold a child that young responsible for having not yet made a commitment to Christ. And it goes without saying that in their world view, the sluts who have abortions would be unlikely to raise their child in a Christian manner if they went through with the pregnancy. So if the woman has an abortion, that ‘unborn baby’ is going straight to heaven. But if it’s born, it’s most likely going to ultimately wind up in hell. So giving these unborn babies the gift of life means that instead of all of them going to heaven, some of them will ultimately go to heaven but most of them won’t. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/27 "2023-06-13T14:45:06Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > I couldn’t ignore the fact that Christians didn’t behave according to their own theology. Take Hell for instance. If Hell were really a place of horrific torment for all eternity, then it would be 1,000,000,000,000x worse than being trapped in the World Trade Center on 9/11. You’d think that Christians would be frantically scrambling about like mad to save people’s souls. One atheist had commented that if he were a Christian and really believed in Hell, he’d be willing to crawl ten miles on his knees on broken glass just to save one soul. But the average Christian spends less than 1 hour per year in evangelism. On the other hand, if Christians really, truly believed in paradise/heaven they would be living their lives extremely differently. If it well a well known fact that, if you follow the teachings of Jesus, obey the 10 commandments, love your neighbour etc etc, “you shall not perish but have everlasting life”. Holy shit, man, can you imagine what a lovely world it would be? But no, most Christians I know are the least Christ-like. I was raised a young earth, fundamentalist penticostal. I deconstructed about 10/15 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/28 "2023-06-13T14:48:56Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Eventually, it got to the point where the scale flipped entirely and I came to the view that Christianity was 10% good and 90% bad. I can’t help being reminded of [Sturgeon’s Law](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sturgeon%27s_law). ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/29 "2023-06-13T14:54:35Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > It isn’t surprising to me that so many people raised in a Christian faith hold it up to their modern understanding of how the world works and find it laughable. But it seems to me that they miss the entire heart of faith and attack the endless silly trappings that surround it. One issue with being raised Christian is that there’s a danger that you come to equate all the beliefs and practices and “endless silly trappings” of the particular church or denomination or subculture you grew up in with Christianity itself. Then if they find they can’t accept those things, they think they must reject Christianity. I’m not saying that’s the case with **Velocity**. But I do know of Christians who have had similar “revelations” to those described in the OP of this thread, who remained Christians, though maybe not the same kind of Christians. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/30 "2023-06-13T14:58:31Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > That’s definitely big. The church has been the vast majority of my social life. So it’s kind of hard to think of what could replace it. I’ve even considered…staying as an undercover Christian - which is kind of what I’m still doing. You might consider the Unitarian Universalists. We’re mostly a bunch of like-minded, social justice oriented folks who like to get together to pay attention to things of worth like voting rights, homeless shelters, food banks and a lot more. We’re non-credo, and probably half our typical congregation is agnostic/atheist while the rest tend towards fuzzy deist/other (including some non-trinitiarian christians). Most of us tend to agree with the [7 UU principles](https://www.uua.org/beliefs/what-we-believe/principles) which emphasize the acceptance of others, world community, peace, a personal search for meaning, et. al. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/31 "2023-06-13T15:10:23Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > So if the woman has an abortion, that ‘unborn baby’ is going straight to heaven. But if it’s born, it’s most likely going to ultimately wind up in hell. > > So giving these unborn babies the gift of life means that instead of all of them going to heaven, some of them will ultimately go to heaven but most of them won’t. Don’t forget the pro-life bunch are actually pro-_birth_. They don’t give a flying rat’s ass what happens after. As evidenced by their opposition to welfare, SNAP, WIC, etc. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/32 "2023-06-13T15:19:42Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > One issue with being raised Christian is that there’s a danger that you come to equate all the beliefs and practices and “endless silly trappings” of the particular church or denomination or subculture you grew up in with Christianity itself. Then if they find they can’t accept those things, they think they must reject Christianity. Also, let’s face it, evangelicals and their allies in other church structures have pretty much won the battle to define Christianity in the minds of most Americans. And however they may be individually, collectively they’re a bunch of assholes. So whether one has been raised Christian or not, that’s what most people in this country associate with Christianity these days. I am not hostile to Christianity - far from it; I’m a born-again Christian, have known the Lord for 52 years and counting, and if anything my spiritual life is the most deep and powerful it’s ever been. But I deeply resent what these people have done to the public image of Christianity. ‘Evangelism’ really needs an antonym to describe what they do. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/33 "2023-06-13T15:24:13Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Don’t forget the pro-life bunch are actually pro-_birth_. They don’t give a flying rat’s ass what happens after. As evidenced by their opposition to welfare, SNAP, WIC, etc. And if it wasn’t clear before, their opposition and resistance to any and all public measures to protect Americans in the face of the recent pandemic was the slam-dunk there. A million Americans died due to Covid, and many more millions around the world, and they didn’t give a damn. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Krupe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Leo\_Krupe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Krupe)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/34 "2023-06-13T15:31:10Z")
Congratulations! The OP says > [@Velocity](#): > > (embarrassing how I could go so long without seeing things right in front of my eyes) but don’t be embarrassed. Many, many people _never_ see those things right in front of their eyes. You have. Someone in the thread may have put it this way (I read the OP and skimmed the rest), but what you’ve done is similar to kicking alcohol or drugs. I drank for 22 years, and when I got sober, I was akin to embarrassed at how much I’d missed. But in the years since, I’ve become proud of kicking the habit. You should be too. It takes a lot of character to change your way of thinking so radically, whether it’s religion, or alcohol, or drugs. You have every right to be proud of yourself. There’s a world worth exploring you might not have known existed. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/35 "2023-06-13T15:37:20Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Finally, I came to realize that - as mentioned above - the only way I could go on believing in Christianity would be if I deliberately held it to a much looser, much lower standard of evidence than I held everything else. I would never believe, for instance, a car salesman who told me “This Toyota Camry can get 200 miles per gallon.” I grew up Lutheran but my mom grew up Catholic (she had a spat with the Catholic church around when me and my brother were born so she decided to raise us Lutheran) and is now back to the Catholic church. My brother became Catholic because his wife and kids are, and he’s like “whatever.” My mom is desperately trying to get me to become Catholic and unfortunately the more I learn about Catholicism the worse/sillier ALL religion becomes to me. I spent 2 months living with mom this year, and watched some of her Catholic media over her shoulder and yikes. Just yikes. I’m not talking fire-and-brimstone shit or even anti-whatever rhetoric. Just basic explanations of the stuff that Jesus is supposed to have done, and what God has done for people. To me it sounds pretty much the same as the non-religious “woo” **Akaj’s** wife is subscribing to in [this thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/am-i-losing-my-sanity-my-marriage-or-both/984422). I am totally down with all of the being nice and helping people and getting strength from an unknown force part of religion. But as we all know, that can all be come by without religion. All this extra stuff, the rules and the judging and the fear…that all comes from men’s interpretation of books written by men interpreting things men said. And by men I actually mean humans but also…men. I still support my mom’s path because she truly gets something out of her religion but yeah, her forcing me to think about it has not really gone the way she has planned. The more I think about it, the further away I get from it. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Krupe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Leo\_Krupe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Krupe)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/36 "2023-06-13T15:43:14Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > the more I learn about Catholicism the worse/sillier ALL religion becomes to me. With Catholicism in particular (and no Christian sect or any other religion gets a pass as far as I’m concerned), the Eucharist is especially weird and disgusting. Even if it’s symbolic, transubstantiation is bizarre, but make it literally the blood and body of Christ, and it’s downright cannibalistic. But no one bats an eye about it. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/37 "2023-06-13T15:47:32Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I’m not sure those are exactly the words you meant to type but I like what I think the sentiment was It is exactly what I meant to say. So little lost: the conviction that there is a belief system not based in facts that will keep you safe. So little gained: the belief that the world is only what you can see and measure with human instruments, no more. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/38 "2023-06-13T15:48:47Z")
> [@Leo\_Krupe](#): > > With Catholicism in particular (and no Christian sect or any other religion gets a pass as far as I’m concerned), the Eucharist is especially weird and disgusting. Even if it’s symbolic, transubstantiation is bizarre, but make it literally the blood and body of Christ, and it’s downright cannibalistic. But no one bats an eye about it. It ain’t symbolic, according to Catholic theological dogma. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Krupe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Leo\_Krupe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Krupe)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/39 "2023-06-13T15:50:11Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > It ain’t symbolic, according to Catholic theological dogma. I realize that – it’s literal. What I meant was that if you take it symbolically, it’s bizarre. Taken literally, as the Church does, it’s beyond reality (which is essentially the definition of religion). ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2023, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404/40 "2023-06-13T15:52:18Z")
> [@Leo\_Krupe](#): > > I realize that – it’s literal. What I meant was that if you take it symbolically, it’s bizarre. Taken literally, as the Church does, it’s beyond reality (which is essentially the definition of religion). That’s exactly what it is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deconstruction-of-christianity-took-30-years/985404.md?page=3)