# Dedicated to a Brother: The Last Time Around **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2010, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389 "2010-09-02T14:55:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/241 "2010-10-25T04:05:29Z")
Coors icecubes - I hadn’t heard that one. Peace and comfort to your family, Marley. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/242 "2010-10-25T04:23:39Z")
With a dying loved one, I kind of get to a point where I feel like I’m being greedy hanging on to them when they need to leave. I’m beginning to feel that way now, feeling greedy for wishing Tyler would stay with you. ☹ Peace on your family, Marley. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/243 "2010-10-25T04:34:54Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > My mom finally completed his blanket, and not a moment to soon: the Panthers finally won a fucking game this week. Thank whatever deity you want that Tyler’s quilt got to include this event 🙂 I keep you and your family in my thoughts daily. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/244 "2010-10-25T05:20:04Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > He wants to be cremated. I’d had that thought about the blanket and although it’s kind of a shame to destroy it when so many people worked hard on it, it might be fitting. On the other hand it might be a nice memento. We’re starting to think about this stuff but we’re not there yet. And now we have two blankets: tonight the Richmond family came over and dropped off an entire completed blanket in the same colors. I’m not sure what we’ll do with that one either, but as with the desserts, ice cubes for swallowing, massages, and everything else, it’s better to have extras. Might I suggest the blankets be included in the viewing. And as far as him being embarrassed about a back-rub… Both my parents said yes without hesitation when I asked them. Although I was close to my father I can only remember hugging him a couple of times past childhood. It just wasn’t something we did. He hugged me with words. I guess my point is that in their final weeks, it must give them significant relief if so readily accepted. I even offered this to an aging friend of my mother who was bedridden. She didn’t hesitate to accept. I’m glad your parents have picked this up. I don’t know how small the ice cubes are but if he’s already having problems swallowing he may eventually want it shaved because it melts fast enough not to cause pain and will be needed because of reduced saliva production. dying sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/245 "2010-10-25T06:14:01Z")
I can’t bring myself to look at the pictures, because I know I’ll cry if I do. I did laugh a little at the thought of a bar mitzvah for the dog. 🙂 I hope Tyler is comfortable now, and wish you, him, and your family peace in what is to come. (hugs for all of you) ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/246 "2010-10-25T11:19:27Z")
**Marley** - it looks like your Gordon is as comforting as anything can be. In the one pic where they’re tangled together, I wonder who’s being more patient, Tyler or the dog. I’ve been where you are, although with a parent. It’s a long and difficult journey. He’s nearly there. Make sure he gets the pain relieve he needs. Strength. StG ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/247 "2010-10-25T11:29:04Z")
Keeping you in my thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/248 "2010-10-25T12:17:38Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Today when I was out of the room, my mom asked him to promise he’d visit her in her dreams. He said he would. I hadn’t cried in a couple of weeks but that might be the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. Aw, man! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/249 "2010-10-25T12:37:14Z")
Everyone at work thinks I’m sick now because my eyes are watering and my nose is swollen and red. Happens every time I check this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/250 "2010-10-25T12:44:12Z")
**Marley** I’m so sorry. Thank you for posting the pictures. They’re wonderful and sad, too. And the bar mitzvah dog did make me chuckle. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/251 "2010-10-25T12:55:17Z")
I’ve lost a child, so I know what your mother is going through, **Marley**. Prayers for all of you. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/252 "2010-10-25T13:06:56Z")
We’ll be sending comforting thoughts and praying for all of you, **Marley**. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/253 "2010-10-25T14:18:12Z")
I’ve written and then deleted three posts so far. Everything seems either inadequate or trite. I have a feeling of dread every time I see new posts to this thread. **Marley** , my thoughts are with you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/254 "2010-10-25T14:55:15Z")
**Marley** , just know we’re thinking of you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/255 "2010-10-25T16:19:51Z")
Damn, damn, damn. You’d think I’d have learned to stop reading these threads at work. At least the office is quiet today so there’s not much chance of anybody seeing me crying. Thanks for the pictures, **Marley**. At this point, I’m not sure what I can hope for, for you and your brother and the people who love you, other than as much peace as you can all find. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Jelly\_Roll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Jelly\_Roll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jelly_Roll)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/256 "2010-10-25T18:29:39Z")
Put me in with those who have typed and re-typed a post, only to realize that nothing I say really means anything. I’m just so sorry this is the hand Tyler has been dealt. I hate this for you and your family, especially your mother. It completely breaks my heart that your mother is facing a life where she can only hope to see her son in her dreams. It’s not fair and I just hate it. I don’t know what to hope for, except for peace for Tyler and you guys. I also hope that everyone has said what they want to say and that there are no regrets. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/257 "2010-10-25T19:22:07Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > \ But they’re not just taking photos of him when he’s semiconscious or anything. [I just posted a few of them on PhotoBucket.](http://s793.photobucket.com/albums/yy214/Marleytats/Tyler/) \ Oh, God, he’s so young. He looks like he should just get out of bed and go play some basketball or something. Dammit dammit dammit. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/258 "2010-10-25T19:33:48Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Today when I was out of the room, my mom asked him to promise he’d visit her in her dreams. He said he would. I hadn’t cried in a couple of weeks but that might be the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. I made my grandmas promise me the same thing. God. Don’t have any words for you but thinking of you all. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/259 "2010-10-25T21:52:29Z")
My thoughts continue to be with your family, **Marley**. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2010, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389/260 "2010-10-25T22:16:45Z")
I apologize in advance if this is inappropriate, but perhaps it’s not; perhaps it will lighten the mood. Okay, here goes… He’s hot. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dedicated-to-a-brother-the-last-time-around/552389.md?page=14)