# Deep Thoughts by Dopers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 14, 2016, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911 "2016-09-14T04:41:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2016, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/21 "2016-09-14T18:19:13Z")
I know it’s Handey so calm down. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2016, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/22 "2016-09-14T18:41:50Z")
I’d rather have a bottle in front on me than have a frontal lobotomy. ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2016, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/23 "2016-09-14T18:43:07Z")
I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no pink flamingo in his yard. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2016, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/24 "2016-09-14T19:23:59Z")
If bears eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat Ivy, why do we keep naming kids Ivy? ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2016, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/25 "2016-09-14T19:29:29Z")
If the government is powerful and technologically savvy enough to read my thoughts through satellites and hidden chip implants embedded in infant formula and vaccines… …why are they so easily fooled by common tinfoil? ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2016, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/26 "2016-09-14T19:33:00Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > If bears eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat Ivy, why do we keep naming kids Ivy? Mares. Not bears. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2016, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/27 "2016-09-14T19:54:43Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Mares. Not bears. Unless you have a stuffy head. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2016, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/28 "2016-09-14T20:17:51Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Are there any _truly original_ deep thoughts on a planet where 110 billion or so people have existed?.. Well [yours](http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/35qxoe) [certainly](https://memegenerator.net/instance/31924716) [isn’t](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2yqii8/ive_slept_with_every_school_teacher_ive_ever_had/). mmm ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2016, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/29 "2016-09-14T20:17:59Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > What is the problem with the meek inheriting the earth? They’re meek, we can just take it back from them. What are they going to do about it? They will cause us to feel very, very guilty. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2016, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/30 "2016-09-14T20:19:46Z")
Never sit with your back to the door. In fact, it’s best if you just stayed in a room with no doors or windows altogether. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2016, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/31 "2016-09-14T21:15:53Z")
It’s better to light a candle than curse the dark… you’ve been eaten by a grue. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2016, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/32 "2016-09-14T21:53:47Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > What screws up traffic are the idiots in front of me that go too slow, and the assholes in back of me that ride my ass. Most traffic problems would be solved if they would just switch places. If this is not the most truest thing that has ever been said then I would be wrong. Which is unpossible because I cannot be wrong or else the universe would implode and we would all be wrong which is unpossible because I am always a tomatoe. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2016, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/33 "2016-09-14T22:00:42Z")
Did you ever _really_ see someone throw their hands in the air like they just don’t care? Admittedly, “sleep in till one and forget to shower, like you just don’t care” makes a shit lyric. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2016, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/34 "2016-09-14T22:03:41Z")
Sitting by a river is all well and good, but sometimes you need to toss the body in yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2016, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/35 "2016-09-14T22:36:44Z")
Whenever I’m using a new application and it says “Press any key to continue,” I press the Windows key, just to see if they mean it. They never do… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/36 "2016-09-15T00:12:03Z")
I told my psychologist I was through with our sessions, because I didn’t like how she was using reverse psychology on me. But then she said, “Fine, go if you want. It’s not like it was working anyway.” So I stayed, she seemed pretty sincere. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/37 "2016-09-15T00:17:39Z")
When all the leaves are brown and the sky is gray, you can bet the farm my 4-month bout of SAD is just around the corner. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/38 "2016-09-15T00:23:31Z")
Politicians say that profanity, vulgarity & pornography do not deserve protected speech, as political discussions do. However, by claiming the right of censorship, politicians use these forms of speech as issues, that help them get elected. Therefore–profanity, vulgarity & pornography become political speech, because they are issues that get politicians elected. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/39 "2016-09-15T00:31:19Z")
Other than "Why is the universe here? What created the universe? What created the thing that created the universe? Why is there something rather than nothing? If God is everywhere is he in the toilet? (See: Martin Luther) Yeah, other than that I don’t ask questions. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/40 "2016-09-15T01:57:49Z")
My mother taught me to never speak to strangers. As a consequence I’ve never met anyone in my entire life. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911.md?page=3)