# Deep Thoughts by Dopers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 14, 2016, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911 "2016-09-14T04:41:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/41 "2016-09-15T04:02:54Z")
The voices in my head don’t bother me. The fact that I can’t even figure out what language they are speaking does bother me. Somewhere in all that is an insight into my personality. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/42 "2016-09-15T04:10:29Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > What is the problem with the meek inheriting the earth? They’re meek, we can just take it back from them. What are they going to do about it? The meek may inherit the Earth, but they will have to hire a Marshal to evict the aggressive. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/43 "2016-09-15T04:32:40Z")
Marta told me to never judge a book by its cover. Then she got all angry at me for reading a book which had the words “Marta’s Diary, Keep Out” on its cover. Gee, Marta, make up your mind. We as a country need to be more proactive in maintaining our borders. That’s why I support the wall on our border with space, to keep meteorites from taking the jobs of hard-working gravel. Nice try, alien rocks. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. They don’t tell you that the mouth is the doorway to the part that hates Windex and wants you to keep at least five hundred yards away at all times. When you’re giving a speech in front of a large group, like a church club, a neat trick is to imagine everyone’s naked, so you’re less nervous about the speech you have to give. Another neat trick is to yell “Ha ha, you’re all naked!” while you run out of the door, so you don’t have to give the dumb speech anyway. As far as I’m concerned, Branson is every bit as good as Venice. That’s why I’m no longer a travel agent. ---
**Author:** ![Dobbs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Dobbs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dobbs)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/44 "2016-09-15T04:41:37Z")
Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![ThisSpaceForRent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thisspaceforrent/32/345_2.png) [@ThisSpaceForRent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisSpaceForRent)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/45 "2016-09-15T13:38:00Z")
Why would I want to have cake if I cannot eat it? Maybe this one was made up by politicians who never HAVE cake, they just eat everyone else’s. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/46 "2016-09-15T14:10:16Z")
In my experience, an apple a day only keeps the doctor away if you throw it at him. Granny Smith’s are good in that regard. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/47 "2016-09-15T14:46:28Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Well [yours](http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/35qxoe) [certainly](https://memegenerator.net/instance/31924716) [isn’t](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2yqii8/ive_slept_with_every_school_teacher_ive_ever_had/). > mmm Thank you. I’ve contacted the three sources and they’ve apologized and added a note of recognition. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/48 "2016-09-15T14:50:56Z")
No matter how much you baby it, your car does not love you. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/49 "2016-09-15T14:52:03Z")
> [@ThisSpaceForRent](#): > > Why would I want to have cake if I cannot eat it? You have made your cake, and you must lie in it. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/50 "2016-09-15T15:23:59Z")
If “slim chance” means the probability of something is low, “fat chance” should mean the probability is high. Change approved. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/51 "2016-09-15T15:47:59Z")
Climbing a mountain ‘because it’s there’ makes about as much sense as cutting off your finger because it’s sticking out. I feel strongly that the “Slow Children” signs are not politically correct. “Baby on board” sounds to me like a menu item. Children should not be seen nor heard. They should be penned up until age 20, as god intended. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/52 "2016-09-15T16:49:29Z")
When information is generated, even more entropy is increased. To balance the books, as it were. The SDMB: Contributing to the heat death of the Universe since 1999. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/53 "2016-09-15T17:28:32Z")
Time will tell. Never trust it with with any of your secrets. What goes around comes around. Until you get off the ride. Avoid bald faced liars. Hang out with ones who have beards. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/54 "2016-09-15T20:59:34Z")
Also ignore bold faced liars. Italicized liars and underlined liars are much more fun ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2016, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/55 "2016-09-15T21:16:37Z")
Every time God closes a door He opens a window. God obviously has OCD. This explains why cleanliness is next to Godliness. I hope I remember to wash underneath my fingernails before I die so I don’t have to go through an isopropyl soak before the Pearly Gates. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2016, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/56 "2016-09-16T00:16:32Z")
> [@Punoqllads](#): > > I hope I remember to wash underneath my fingernails before I die so I don’t have to go through an isopropyl soak before the Pearly Gates. Check with Westboro about that. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2016, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/57 "2016-09-16T01:06:50Z")
Behind every silver lining is a bloody great black cloud. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2016, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/58 "2016-09-16T04:00:03Z")
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know…oh, wait. They’re listed on the inside box top. ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2016, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/59 "2016-09-16T04:37:02Z")
Reality has no need to slow down when it’s passing strange. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2016, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911/60 "2016-09-16T12:35:04Z")
Is it bad form to tell a bride “I hope your wedding goes off without a hitch!”? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deep-thoughts-by-dopers/765911.md?page=4)