# Defend marriage! ONE MAN - ONE WOMAN **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 10, 2008, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036 "2008-11-10T14:59:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![newcrasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/1 "2008-11-10T14:59:52Z")
…one time. Now that we have defended marriage against the threat the same sex onslaught in California and beyond, we need to move on in protecting this sacred institution. Write your congressman and insist that there be legislation to further protect marraige. The greates destroyer of marriage is divorce. We must eliminate this threat before it unravels the very fabric of our society. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/2 "2008-11-10T15:08:20Z")
WHEREAS Marriage is the union of a Man and a Woman for the purpose of procreation, no person may enter into marriage if procreation is not possible within that marriage or if procreation is not intended. A person shall be guilty of a crime, punishable by not less than five years imprisonment, or $100,000, or both if: A. That person is incapable of procreation; B. That person’s intended spouse is incapable of procreation; C. That person does not produce an offspring with his or her spouse within five years of marriage; D. That person intends, whether that intention is made known or not, to not produce an offspring. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/3 "2008-11-10T15:08:34Z")
Makes as much sense as banning same-sex marriage. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanTigerTamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@SuntanTigerTamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanTigerTamer)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/4 "2008-11-10T15:13:50Z")
YAAAAY I get to do one!!! Ahem… WHOOOOSSSSHHHHH!!! ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/5 "2008-11-10T15:21:41Z")
Plus, since a child needs both a mother and a father, when a parent dies, any children must immediately be taken from the remaining single parent and placed into foster care. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/6 "2008-11-10T16:03:28Z")
Well obviously divorce needs to be outlawed. Then we need to stop those slutty widows from marrying someone other than their brother-in-law. And of course of a man’s wife is barren she must give him her maid to impregnate. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/7 "2008-11-10T16:22:07Z")
I have yet to hear who this ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN is. Have their names been published? Who decided which ONE MAN marries which ONE WOMAN? Will there be a separate vote? If it were me deciding, for the sake of the nation I would volunteer to be the ONE MAN. Now, for the ONE WOMAN…hmmmm, does Jessica Alba have a cuter younger sister? ---
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/8 "2008-11-10T16:23:47Z")
I thought it was “one man minus one woman”, which would—by my calculations—leave a smoldering rib lying on the ground. ---
**Author:** ![CurtC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce73a5/32.png) [@CurtC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CurtC)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/9 "2008-11-10T16:26:19Z")
I liked what Tina Fey, as Sarah Palin, said on SNL, referring to Palin’s daughter. Something like “marriage is a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers.” > [@SuntanTigerTamer](#): > > YAAAAY I get to do one!!! > Ahem… > WHOOOOSSSSHHHHH!!! Sorry, I must have missed anyone getting whooshed. Where was it? ---
**Author:** ![SuntanTigerTamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@SuntanTigerTamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanTigerTamer)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/10 "2008-11-10T16:28:10Z")
> [@CurtC](#): > > I liked what Tina Fey, as Sarah Palin, said on SNL, referring to Palin’s daughter. Something like “marriage is a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers.” > > Sorry, I must have missed anyone getting whooshed. Where was it? See post #3. Does it count as two now? ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/11 "2008-11-10T16:32:23Z")
> [@CurtC](#): > > Sorry, I must have missed anyone getting whooshed. Where was it? You just quoted it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/12 "2008-11-10T16:53:33Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > WHEREAS Marriage is the union of a Man and a Woman for the purpose of procreation, no person may enter into marriage if procreation is not possible within that marriage or if procreation is not intended. > > A person shall be guilty of a crime, punishable by not less than five years imprisonment, or $100,000, or both if: > > A. That person is incapable of procreation; > B. That person’s intended spouse is incapable of procreation; > C. That person does not produce an offspring with his or her spouse within five years of marriage; > D. That person intends, whether that intention is made known or not, to not produce an offspring. > > 😛 E. If it is determined that either person in the marriage is doing anything to prevent conception; i.e. using contraceptives or not having normal sexual relations. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/13 "2008-11-10T16:55:31Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Plus, since a child needs both a mother and a father, when a parent dies, any children must immediately be taken from the remaining single parent and placed into foster care. To be fair, we should give them say…3 months to remarry. If they miss the cutoff, then take the kids away. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/14 "2008-11-10T16:58:13Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Plus, since a child needs both a mother and a father, when a parent dies, any children must immediately be taken from the remaining single parent and placed into foster care. That will go over best in Arkansas, where it is now illegal to adopt a child if you are single. Surely if you can’t adopt one, how can it be moral to keep one if you are single? Think of the children! ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/15 "2008-11-10T16:59:52Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > E. If it is determined that either person in the marriage is doing anything to prevent conception; i.e. using contraceptives or not having normal sexual relations. And “Not tonight, Dear, I have a headache” should be an illegal excuse. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/16 "2008-11-10T17:57:01Z")
> [@SuntanTigerTamer](#): > > See post #3. > > Does it count as two now? Whoosh right back atcha, Tiger. I thought humor threads were disallowed in GD? ---
**Author:** ![newcrasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/17 "2008-11-10T18:20:34Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Whoosh right back atcha, Tiger. > > I thought humor threads were disallowed in GD? Stop being such a sourpuss. The debate is; divorce is the number one destroyer of marriage. Now that we have defended marriage against the gay agenda, do you not agree we should not now protect it against its number on threat, divorce? ---
**Author:** ![Burton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Burton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burton)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/18 "2008-11-10T18:25:00Z")
> [@newcrasher](#): > > Stop being such a sourpuss. > > The debate is; divorce is the number one destroyer of marriage. Now that we have defended marriage against the gay agenda, do you not agree we should not now protect it against its number on threat, divorce? That’s an awful idea. The old saw about making it harder to get married and easier to get divorced has some merit though. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/19 "2008-11-10T19:07:51Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > To be fair, we should give them say…3 months to remarry. If they miss the cutoff, then take the kids away. The remaining spouse is hurled onto the funeral pyre surely? ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2008, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036/20 "2008-11-10T19:17:03Z")
> [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](#): > > The remaining spouse is hurled onto the funeral pyre surely? Good grief man, we are living in civilized times here! That only happens if there are no children. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defend-marriage-one-man-one-woman/472036.md?page=2)