# Definitely NOT a post party **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 5, 2001, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/definitely-not-a-post-party/60931 "2001-04-05T15:40:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/definitely-not-a-post-party/60931/1 "2001-04-05T15:40:10Z")
**500**? Really? That many already? Gosh, I hadn’t noticed. I was just planning to have a quiet night at home. Maybe a light dinner, read my book by the fireplace, turn in early, that sort of thing. Party? No, of course not. I wouldn’t do something like that – anyway, we all know that post parties are frowned upon. Yes, yes, I do have quite a lot of alcohol stockpiled in my kitchen. Well you never know when friends might drop by unexpectedly, and I’d hate to run out. Actually, I do have a lot of friends, since you ask. Really? Don’t most people buy vodka by the keg? No? I hadn’t realized. Huh. The videocameras? Yes, there are quite a few, aren’t there? All part of my collection. All in perfect working order, too. Now **how** could you say a thing like that? There’s absolutely nothing untoward in the way they’re arranged. You’ve got a smutty mind, my friend. That? What do you _think_ it is? It’s a wading pool, for crying out loud! There’s no law against a man owning a wading pool, is there? Oh, you mean the lime jello. Umm…that’s…my **dessert**. You see, I _really, really_ like lime jello, and I always tend to make too much anyway, so I keep it in my wading pool. Okay, maybe that’s a little odd, but there’s no room in my fridge. No, don’t ask what’s in the fridge. Oh you’ve noticed the goat? Yes, I’m…uh…just taking care of it for a friend who has a farm. I don’t know why it’s wearing a tutu; my friend has a very strange sense of humor. I’m also taking care of his chickens. You hadn’t seen the chickens? Oh well…they’re over there, in the corner. What? Don’t be ridiculous! I’m sure they’ve only been eating red seed corn or something. I’m not even sure how one would **put** lipstick on a chicken, let alone _why_. So, as you can see, I’m just planning a quiet, solitary night at home. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. Nope, I’m quite happy to leave post parties to other people. Thanks for stopping by, though. Drive safely now. Bub-bye! [sub] **Psst! Ix-nay on the arty-pay until the ods-may aren’t ooking-lay!** [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/definitely-not-a-post-party/60931/2 "2001-04-06T14:12:24Z")
Geez, you guys _really_ can’t take a hint. All I wanted was a little discretion, and you don’t even turn up at all. Sheesh. And now look at the state of this place. There’s chickenshit all over the giant Twister board, the goat’s eaten all the lime jello and half of its tutu and is now letting off gas strong enough to stun bats, and the “items” in the fridge --which I had to special order from Sweden, I’ll have you know – are now going off. Fine, then. See if I invite **you** to my 1000th. [sub]I’ll just be over here by myself. Just me…and this keg of vodka…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/definitely-not-a-post-party/60931/3 "2001-04-06T14:18:12Z")
I’m sorry, i don’t participate in this sort of thing … oh wait. I loves ya jr8! Fran ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/definitely-not-a-post-party/60931/4 "2001-04-06T14:25:31Z")
Hey! You said you were going to enjoy a quiet night at home, reading in front of the fireplace. We didn’t want to bother you and far be it from me to interrupt a man who wants to read in peace or ask about just why the hell he has a tutu wearing goat in his house for company, especially with chickens and most especially after reading **Scylla** ’s goat story. Live and let live, I always say. :: makes a mental note never to buy video tapes from **jr8** Productions :: ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/definitely-not-a-post-party/60931/5 "2001-04-06T14:38:39Z")
_enters with books_ G’day mate, just thought I’d drop in and um… well share the silence. Y’know - read in the same room. A drink? Well, it’d be rude to refuse… ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/definitely-not-a-post-party/60931/6 "2001-04-06T14:42:14Z")
Wha? Hey, guests! Welcome! Let me just tidy up a little here. I’ll just shoo the chickens off the sofa … there we go…and open a window to let the place air out a bit. Make yourself comfrotable. Can I get you a drink? Tea? Coffee? Vodka martini? Would you like a liverwurst sandwich? It’ll mean wrecking the sculpture in the fridge, but it’ll only go to waste anyway. The videotapes? No, I don’t sell them – they were intended to be a parting gift for my guests, so that they could relive the fun over and over again. It would be churlish of me to think of doing anything else with them. Hospitable to a fault, that’s me… ---
**Author:** ![dewt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@dewt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dewt)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/definitely-not-a-post-party/60931/7 "2001-04-06T15:18:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > **There’s chickenshit all over the giant Twister board** **Now** we’re talking party!!! I had my 666th post party last night. Very few people showed up. Of course the whole thing was in my head, and it only lasted 5mins… next time I’m gonna get me a goat in a tutu. ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/definitely-not-a-post-party/60931/8 "2001-04-06T16:39:24Z")
Good for you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/definitely-not-a-post-party/60931/9 "2001-04-07T03:14:37Z")
Happy 500. ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/definitely-not-a-post-party/60931/10 "2001-04-07T03:17:02Z")
Is it me, or is there an unusual amount of booze in this room? Well, when in Romes liquor cabinet… ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/definitely-not-a-post-party/60931/11 "2001-04-09T08:23:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Totoro \* > \*\*Is it me, or is there an unusual amount of booze in this room? Well, when in Romes liquor cabinet… \*\* That depends on what you consider “unusual”…