# Defriending on Facebook **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 16, 2010, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689 "2010-03-16T20:02:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![GESancMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gesancman/32/2923_2.png) [@GESancMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GESancMan)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/1 "2010-03-16T20:02:31Z")
I’m not the type of person who friends people on Facebook just because I recognize their name. I only send requests to people I actually know, or have had some sort of relationship with in the past. Most of the time, if people friend me and I don’t remember them, or didn’t really know them, I’ll ignore it. There have been a couple of exceptions, though. Yesterday I got a friend request from this dude I sort of knew in high school, more than 20 years ago. He was a friend of a couple of friends of mine, and I barely remember him. I thought about it a bit, and I recall that he was a pretty cool guy, so I figured what the hell, why not. I then immediately found out he is, shall we say, a prolific poster. Jesus. Fully half the posts showing up in my feed are inane ramblings from this guy. Now I’m sorry I accepted his request. I’ve never felt the need to hide or defriend anyone before. In fact, I don’t see the point of hiding at all - why have someone in your list if you’re going to ignore them? I know I’m being silly, but I worry about being rude to this guy by defriending him - especially because I just accepted his request. But then I think of two things: first, he’s got over 300 friends, so I doubt he’d even notice. And second, what do I care what this guy thinks? Until yesterday I didn’t even remember he exists. Anyway, if I do defriend him, am I correct in my assumption that I would just drop off of his list with no fanfare? And, wouldn’t I start showing up in his suggestions again? ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/2 "2010-03-16T20:07:34Z")
Correct on both counts. He will get no notice, and would have to actively look for you to find you again. ---
**Author:** ![Shinna\_Minna\_Ma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f08c70/32.png) [@Shinna\_Minna\_Ma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shinna_Minna_Ma)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/3 "2010-03-16T21:08:00Z")
> [@GESancMan](#): > > I then immediately found out he is, shall we say, a prolific poster. Jesus. Fully half the posts showing up in my feed are inane ramblings from this guy. I had the same sort of situation, except I knew the “friend” very well. The problem was she was constantly posting about celebrities, and celebrity news, and all that crap. I really have no interest in celebrities, their sex lives, or what kind of clothing they wear. I unfriended her (she had well over 500 friends at the time), and as far as I know, she never noticed. She’s never showed up in my suggested friends, either. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/4 "2010-03-17T02:43:57Z")
Do a search in GQ, there are three or four recent threads about all the implications of defriending people on Facebook. ---
**Author:** ![fusoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@fusoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fusoya)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/5 "2010-03-17T04:29:17Z")
I keep a list of my FB friends, because I used to waste a ton of time racking my brain to figure out who the latest person to defriend me was. More often than it, it’s someone who I haven’t been communicating with, but occasionally I piss off someone who actually knows me, the latest being the SNL-obsessed former college roommate who took personal offense to my update about how I wished that Andy Samburg could have been the one who married Brynn Hartman… Most people probably have bigger things to worry about than their friend count though… ---
**Author:** ![qubed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f07891/32.png) [@qubed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/qubed)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/6 "2010-03-17T04:47:32Z")
[Here’s](http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/58852) a greasemonkey script that’ll automatically find out who defriends you. Fairly nifty. Rather than defriend people, you can set the option to hide specific people from your news feed. Much easier that way, and they can’t tell. ---
**Author:** ![Cyberhwk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cyberhwk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyberhwk)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/7 "2010-03-17T07:51:02Z")
That would be nice. I joined to keep up with family and a couple of close friends. One old guy I went to high school with, wasn’t even a friend, sent me an invite, I decline. And declined. And Declined. And Declined. Eventually I added him just to get him to stop sending me the damn things. ---
**Author:** ![Hallucinex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba9def/32.png) [@Hallucinex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hallucinex)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/8 "2010-03-17T08:13:05Z")
> [@GESancMan](#): > > In fact, I don’t see the point of hiding at all - why have someone in your list if you’re going to ignore them? Probably because of concerns like this: > [@GESancMan](#): > > I know I’m being silly, but I worry about being rude to this guy by defriending him 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![maplekiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@maplekiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maplekiwi)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2010, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/9 "2010-03-17T09:35:24Z")
> [@qubed](#): > > [Here’s](http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/58852) a greasemonkey script that’ll automatically find out who defriends you. Fairly nifty. Does it show if someones declined you or if they are just ignoring your friend request? > [@qubed](#): > > [URL=“[Dance Party](http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/58852)”]Here’s[/URL > > Rather than defriend people, you can set the option to hide specific people from your news feed. Much easier that way, and they can’t tell. I’ve done this. A niece of my husband’s behaved inappropriately on Facebook. I felt she was too young to be on there, but rather than give offence I’ve just limited her access. She’d probably die of boredom if she visited my page anyway! ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2010, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/10 "2010-03-18T01:30:11Z")
Anyone who defriends me usually leaves me in no doubt 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2010, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/11 "2010-03-18T18:52:19Z")
I’ve found it easier to completely ignore the existence of FaceBook. I was forced by their inane policies to create a FaceBook account for the rare occasions I need to look at someone else’s FaceBook page, but I set my options to as much privacy as possible and I still get e-mail notifications that some random asshole “wants to be my friend”. I had to set up a spam filter to send all that crap to the bit-bucket. Man, do I hate “social networking”! ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/12 "2010-03-18T18:55:19Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > I set my options to as much privacy as possible and I still get e-mail notifications that some random asshole “wants to be my friend”. You’re doing it wrong. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2010, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/13 "2010-03-18T18:56:45Z")
I find that people you barely know who friend you who have 300+ “friends” and then post a bunch of crap constantly are just looking to push their agenda and you should get rid of them immediately. He won’t notice and you’ll be rid of it. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/14 "2010-03-18T19:01:28Z")
i hide some people and de-friend others. I friended someone whom I thought I might have recently met at an event I organized (rather than being rude) only to have her try to pitch me Amway - either to buy it or sell it. I de-friended her. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2010, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/15 "2010-03-18T19:04:15Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > You’re doing it wrong. I’ve gone through all the option settings I can find. What setting do I need? ---
**Author:** ![Time\_Stranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Time\_Stranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Time_Stranger)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2010, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/16 "2010-03-18T19:08:49Z")
On the home page top right corner, click account -\> account settings -\> Notifications. There you should be able to turn off all email notifications when someone friends you (among other things.) ---
**Author:** ![GESancMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gesancman/32/2923_2.png) [@GESancMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GESancMan)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2010, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/17 "2010-03-18T19:10:16Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > I find that people you barely know who friend you who have 300+ “friends” and then post a bunch of crap constantly are just looking to push their agenda and you should get rid of them immediately. He won’t notice and you’ll be rid of it. Well, I don’t know that This Guy had an agenda, unless it was to spout out as much useless crap as he could about sports scores and such. And I guess I never will know, now… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2010, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/defriending-on-facebook/532689/18 "2010-03-18T19:31:55Z")
> [@Time\_Stranger](#): > > On the home page top right corner, click account -\> account settings -\> Notifications. There you should be able to turn off all email notifications when someone friends you (among other things.) Don’t know how I missed that one. All unchecked now, thanks! Hopefully this means I’ll be able to completely forget that FaceBook even exists unless forced to look at someone’s page for information that should have been put up on a real web site.