# "delicately balanced on top of it." **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [January 2, 2012, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196 "2012-01-02T23:20:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2012, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196/1 "2012-01-02T23:20:10Z")
:dubious: I hesitate to question the “All knowing one” (hereafter, referred to as “the Master”) or His sources. But the statement, > [@](#): > > As one of Brunvand’s correspondents notes: “I was not completely convinced of the efficacy of such a system [upon first hearing of it]. My skepticism proved justified when, a block later, my dog backed directly onto one of the plastic bottles and left one large turd delicately balanced on top of it.” is hard to picture, let alone believe. I’m fully cognizant of the fact that the Master has not claimed to witness the aforementioned act firsthand, but seeing as how he has seen fit to epitomize the act, I humbly ask for corroboration of some sort. ---
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196/2 "2012-01-03T14:47:33Z")
How dare you You diss the master?😃 Even I thought the same thing, when I read the column. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196/3 "2012-01-03T15:01:32Z")
[The obligatory link](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/664/do-jugs-filled-with-water-keep-dogs-off-your-lawn) to the column in question. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196/4 "2012-01-05T00:50:12Z")
Entirely possible. Blackjack has two means of marking offensivee objects left in his yard. That would be the one reserved for the most serious offenses. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196/5 "2012-01-05T16:03:06Z")
Plastic bottles like milk jugs or 2Liter bottles tend to have sloping sides and a very small neck, so balancing a turd directly on top of it seems unlikely. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2012, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196/6 "2012-01-05T16:54:26Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > Plastic bottles like milk jugs or 2Liter bottles tend to have sloping sides and a very small neck, so balancing a turd directly on top of it seems unlikely. That just means that it’s a … rim job. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2012, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196/7 "2012-01-06T04:26:06Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > Plastic bottles like milk jugs or 2Liter bottles tend to have sloping sides and a very small neck, so balancing a turd directly on top of it seems unlikely. I don’t suppose you’ve ever seen a turban have you? ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2012, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196/8 "2012-01-06T05:55:36Z")
The bottle could have been on its side. Not that I don’t think this anecdote has probably been exaggerated by Cecil for comic effect… ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2012, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196/9 "2012-01-06T06:42:14Z")
Is anybody else thinking, “Hey, new dog agility event”? ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2012, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196/10 "2012-01-06T07:23:19Z")
I have dogs, I’ve walked dogs, I’ve had to clean up after dogs and cats. I don’t find this hard to believe. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2012, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196/11 "2012-01-06T14:33:36Z")
> [@](#): > > I don’t suppose you’ve ever seen a turban have you? Are you comparing a turban to faeces? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2012, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196/12 "2012-01-06T19:04:56Z")
> [@gamerunknown](#): > > Are you comparing a turban to faeces? I suppose I could make a joke about a Moslem sect, but I’ll leave my comparison to refer to the topological form. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2012, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196/13 "2012-01-06T19:17:26Z")
Don’t turbans take some deliberate effort to hold in place while wrapping? I don’t think a dog is going to make that kind of effort. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2012, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196/14 "2012-01-06T20:57:59Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > Don’t turbans take some deliberate effort to hold in place while wrapping? I don’t think a dog is going to make that kind of effort. You don’t know dogshit. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2012, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196/15 "2012-01-06T21:21:47Z")
I’ve never tried to make a turban out of it, if that’s what you mean. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2012, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196/16 "2012-01-07T00:28:48Z")
> [@](#): > > I suppose I could make a joke about a Moslem sect, but I’ll leave my comparison to refer to the topological form. Nowhere in the Quran are Muslims instructed to wear turbans (some do in emulation of Muhammad). Guru Gobind Singh Ji, however, instructs all Sikh men to wear turbans. I’ve had a turban wrapped around my head by a Sikh man before - the process took over a minute, had several layers and was tight enough to make my ears smart and bring tears to my eyes (I was only ten or so). I fail to see how the process could be replicated on a bottle (which is nothing like a head) by a dog’s anus (which is nothing like a Sikh man). ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2012, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/delicately-balanced-on-top-of-it/608196/17 "2012-01-07T06:11:11Z")
You have the wrong sect, I didn’t make the joke, and you are reading something into my comment that was not there.