# Deliver bad news to someone on (their) vacation or not? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 15, 2012, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273 "2012-06-15T19:17:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2012, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/41 "2012-06-17T03:52:38Z")
I was taking care of a co-worker’s pet and her garden for a week while she was out of town, and one of her cats was an indoor/outdoor cat. I hadn’t seen him for a few days, and couldn’t find him anywhere. I panicked and tried looking everywhere but he was just gone. I told her via email about it while she was on vacation, apologized profusely (even though it wasn’t really my fault or anything), and she said not to worry about it. Turns out the cat was just hiding REALLY well somewhere in her house, haha! But yeah, if the cat had actually DIED, I’d probably still report it. Missing is pretty close to dead though. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2012, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/42 "2012-06-17T05:56:25Z")
> [@Kevbo](#): > > I actually had something close happen. > > The pet owner was not on vacation, but working out of town. The elderly dog had a pancreatic tumor and was in a lot of pain. I was able to call the owner and convince her the dog needed to be put down, and no, it shouldn’t wait 'till she could get back to be there for it. I think this is the only time I can recall myself in uncontrollable, as in can’t breath right, tears as an adult. It was way, way worse than when I had to put my own dog down…also no picnic, mind. Wait a minute – you called to get permission to kill her pet?! Um, that’s someplace I would not go. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2012, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/43 "2012-06-17T07:15:05Z")
As a pet owner, I would want to know. Not so I could drop everything and fly home to sob over the body, but because I would know what to expect. Of course, my catsitter calls me every day with an update. He’s a very good friend and knows that I love my cats. The worse thing that has happened was when I was at a bike run in a different state for a pet rescue group and one of my old sick cats died. Ironic, but not unexpected. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2012, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/44 "2012-06-17T08:33:30Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Wait a minute – you called to get permission to kill her pet?! > > Um, that’s someplace I would not go. See that’s EXACTLY what I want my critter sitter to do. Things can change very rapidly with old, sick animals. They can go downhill very quickly, and my vacation is absolutely not more important than their wellbeing. Why should the dog have had to live in pain just because the owner was on vacation? Euthanizing the dog _without_ consulting the owner is obviously a no-go, letting the dog linger in pain til the owner is home would be terrible, I don’t see that **Kevbo** did anything other than what had to be done. Horrible for all concerned, but a fact of animal care, unfortunately. ---
**Author:** ![oreally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7ab992/32.png) [@oreally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oreally)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2012, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/45 "2012-06-17T13:12:53Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Wait a minute – you called to get permission to kill her pet?! > > Um, that’s someplace I would not go. Meaning you’d just kill it without permission or you’d just let the dog suffer? 😕 Kevbo absolutely did the right thing. No-brainer, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2012, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/46 "2012-06-17T13:52:32Z")
> [@oreally](#): > > Meaning you’d just kill it without permission or you’d just let the dog suffer? 😕 Kevbo absolutely did the right thing. No-brainer, IMO. Meaning I’d bring the pet to the vet, and put the owner and vet in touch with each other. I would not put myself in the position of _advocating for_ their pet’s death. Perhaps that makes me a poor choice as a pet sitter. That’s okay, if I had any idea the pet was that fragile and near death I wouldn’t have agreed to do it. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2012, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/47 "2012-06-17T15:53:38Z")
I was furloughed while on vacation in 2008. When I found out, I asked my boss when the descision had been made. He said “About 2 weeks ago.” (I had been gone for 3 weeks). I asked him why he didn’t call to tell me right away, “we didn’t want to spoil your vacation.” Great, if I had known I wouldn’t have spent so much money! ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2012, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/48 "2012-06-17T16:21:52Z")
If my cat is sick, call me. If my cat is _dead_, wait until I get home. In other words, do not ruin my vacation by calling to tell me about something that I can’t do anything about. Also, do not bury someone else’s cat. Bring the cat to the vet and ask them to hold it until they get home so that _they_ can decide what to do with it. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2012, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/49 "2012-06-17T16:39:40Z")
I would want to know right away. Not because I’d want to come running home, but because “down” time is a rare thing for me. Chances are, when I get home, I’ll have a poopload of unpacking and laundry and e-mailing to do,a nd the next day my desk will be piled up with with work. I’d like to find out while I have the free time to think about it, and grieve, and be ready to face the world again by the time I get back. ---
**Author:** ![oreally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7ab992/32.png) [@oreally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oreally)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/50 "2012-06-17T18:46:26Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Meaning I’d bring the pet to the vet, and put the owner and vet in touch with each other. I would not put myself in the position of _advocating for_ their pet’s death. Perhaps that makes me a poor choice as a pet sitter. That’s okay, if I had any idea the pet was that fragile and near death I wouldn’t have agreed to do it. Got it, thx for clarification. Well I doubt most if any would “advocate” for that unless they had good cause, and it’s still up to the owner, of course. And you sound like a good choice FWIW > [@DianaG](#): > > If my cat is sick, call me. If my cat is _dead_, wait until I get home. In other words, do not ruin my vacation by calling to tell me about something that I can’t do anything about. Excellent point; agreed. > [@](#): > > Also, do not bury someone else’s cat. Bring the cat to the vet and ask them to hold it until they get home so that _they_ can decide what to do with it. If you can. I don’t think most vets will do that for very long and I’d bet many not at all. It’s not like they have a massive freezer in the back. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2012, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/51 "2012-06-17T18:54:22Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > If my cat is sick, call me. If my cat is _dead_, wait until I get home. In other words, do not ruin my vacation by calling to tell me about something that I can’t do anything about… Fun guy that I am, I prefer to wallow in grief. Call me in either case. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2012, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/52 "2012-06-17T19:00:46Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > They’re cats. Let those folks enjoy their vacation. > > What you do with all dead cats. Put 'em in a shallow grave, to keep the smell down; or burn them. But if they are “just cats” why should their death affect the enjoyment of the vacation? :rolleyes: I would want to be told. I wouldn’t come home, but I would want to know. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/53 "2012-06-18T00:05:04Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I wouldn’t change my plans as a result of the information (at least under normal circumstances where you were fine and not incredibly stressed out by it), but to me, keeping information from people about their lives doesn’t make sense. It’s that person’s call whether to do something with the information, isn’t it? I agree – this is something a person has the right to make up their own mind about. Worst thing that happens is that you take up five minutes of their time on a phone call. The more likely scenario is now they have the option of telling you what they want for disposition of the body and, if it’s important to them, they can cut their vacation short to take care of things themselves. Personally, if someone left me in the dark about that, and I came home from vacation to find a body in the freezer or dumped in an unmarked hole in the yard, I would be livid, with a very strong possibility that I would never trust that person again. _That_ would ruin my vacation way more than being told the truth. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/54 "2012-06-18T00:18:45Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > If my cat is sick, call me. If my cat is _dead_, wait until I get home. In other words, do not ruin my vacation by calling to tell me about something that I can’t do anything about. > > Also, do not bury someone else’s cat. Bring the cat to the vet and ask them to hold it until they get home so that _they_ can decide what to do with it. I have to wait until it _dies_ before burying it? Great, now you tell me. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/55 "2012-06-18T00:59:05Z")
What if the owners die in a freak yatching accident. When do you tell the cat? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/56 "2012-06-18T01:09:20Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > What if the owners die in a freak yatching accident. > When do you tell the cat? Well, a cat’s life is like a permanent vacation, so never. On the other hand, it’s not like it will ruin that vacation, so you can tell them at any time! ---
**Author:** ![oreally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7ab992/32.png) [@oreally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oreally)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/57 "2012-06-18T03:09:53Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > What if the owners die in a freak yatching accident. > When do you tell the cat? Dude, it’s a cat. You just kick it and tell it to get the hell out. Really I think if the owner doesn’t leave this kind of info before going, it’s the babysitter’s call and the owner has zero right to piss and moan about it after the fact. ---
**Author:** ![madrabbitwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@madrabbitwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madrabbitwoman)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/58 "2012-06-18T04:00:08Z")
If they were my beloved animals I would want to know ASAP. Any “friend” that waited until I got home to tell me would very quickly be an “ex Friend”. ---
**Author:** ![oreally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7ab992/32.png) [@oreally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oreally)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/59 "2012-06-18T23:47:33Z")
Even though you left no instructions whatsoever on what to do in a situation so they were forced to do what they thought was best? Curious qualifications for friendship you have. ---
**Author:** ![madrabbitwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@madrabbitwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madrabbitwoman)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273/60 "2012-06-18T23:58:42Z")
Sorry. I usually leave detailed instructions (particularly for the rabbit). People who look after my animals know what to do. I cannot understand someone going away and leaving their pets in someone else’s care without having “in case of emergency do…”. I always have a contact number, Alternate emergancy pet sitter numbers, vets (and any treatment going onto my account), my parents etc… Anyone who failed to let me or someone who could contact me know in this situation would be a pretty crappy friend (mind you unlikely to happen because I don’t let just anyone look after the bunny) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deliver-bad-news-to-someone-on-their-vacation-or-not/625273.md?page=4)