Many years ago, we were on vacation and came home to the unexpected passing of a seemingly very healthy cat. The all too common urinary blockage for an altered male. My brother was taking care of him, and didn’t call to tell us.
A few years later, we were caring for the tenant’s elderly and declining cat. It was not a surprise when they came home to learn of her passing.
In both cases, I think it was right to enjoy the vacation without being told as nothing would be gained or changed.
What kind of makes me laugh about this thread is the number of times I’ve worried a little bit about something while on vacation and had people tell me, “If something were wrong, someone would have called.”
Depends; if the guy’s name is Schroedinger, maybe the cat’s not actually dead until he comes back from vacation.
Well if you want to be told if your cat kicks the bucket, let the cat-sitter know to call you if the animal has any health problems while you’re away. This is just what people would do without instructions to the contrary.
That’s one of my Dad’s favourites too. If you ever say “I didn’t know s/he was dead!” in front of him, he’ll say “S/he’s playing in the roof” in the goofy voice he uses for that joke. 
In the OP situation I wait, of course. With some people it might be better to lie and say it just happened a day or 2 ago to avoid them maybe getting mad that you didn’t tell them sooner (although with most people I know this wouldn’t be necessary). If it’s a family member or other “extremely important person” to them, of course I call ASAP.
When my wife and I were on our honeymoon we were on an island with one telephone. Our 3rd day there one of the staff came to tell us we had an emergency phone call. We ran across the island to the phone and discovered it was my wife’s mother calling to tell us she had filed for a divorce from my wife’s father. >_<
So… I unambiguously vote “Wait for them to return!”
For most of my friends, I wouldn’t call. I’ve got two, however, who are Crazy Cat Ladies in Training, and them I would call. My decision is based on my best guess that the answer to the question is, “will this information change the person’s behavior?” is “yes”.
The friend who brings her cat to the vet monthly “just to check on her,” bought the pet care not-insurance plan, makes her own cat food and chose her apartment not in small part because of the view of the lake a window would provide her cat…yeah, she’s going to want to know asap and will probably cut her vacation short to come home and cry over the cat.
For most normal mentally well people? No, I wouldn’t call, because I don’t anticipate that they’d change their plans as a result of the information.
But if they called me to ask how the cat was doing, I’d confess.
I get this sorted out BEFORE they leave. I ask point blank “if something horrible happens and I find one of them dead or dying, do you want me to call you or wait until you are home?”
For myself, I want to be called. Yes, they’re cats/dogs/horses/pets, but they are also my dear friends and members of my family. I would be horrified to find a note and frozen body waiting for me.
I recall years ago reading William Wharton’s Ever After: A Father’s True Story which recounts the 1988 deaths of his daughter with her husband and children in a 23-car accident caused by the smoke generated by grass-burning on nearby farmland.
For reasons I can’t recall Wharton had to wait some hours after he knew of the deaths before he could tell his wife. He remarked that he envied her the few extra hours she had of living without the knowledge of their tragedy. I know just what he means so I’d let sleeping dogs lie, so to speak, and not mention it until later.
I have to admit that as I think of it, I’m not sure what I’d want. My dog is like family to me as well. If I was near enough that I could drive back within a reasonable time, yes call I think - out of country is a tougher call.
This scenario is actually on my mind as we’re headed out of town for two weeks in July. The dogs are going with us, but I have 8 cats and 5 horses that will be left in the care of friends. One of the horses is 34, two others are in their late 20s, and at least half the cats are either senior or have had serious medical issues in the past. Currently all animals are very fit and healthy, some are just Olde Fartes. I would not be horribly surprised if the 34 yo horse dropped dead, but I would want to know. I wouldn’t come home early, but I’d want to know. If any of the others died I’d be very surprised (and heartbroken) and yes, I’d still want to know, and be able to tell my critter sitter what to do. I doubt I’d come home if they’d already died (it’s a 14 hr drive), but I would if they were very sick but not yet gone.
Both people who critter-sit for me are really good about calling if something doesn’t seem right, and they know that if they are worried and can’t get in touch with me they have my OK to get the vet. My vets know me well enough that they would euthanize if it was necessary.
I don’t like surprises though, especially sad surprises 
I wouldn’t change my plans as a result of the information (at least under normal circumstances where you were fine and not incredibly stressed out by it), but to me, keeping information from people about their lives doesn’t make sense. It’s that person’s call whether to do something with the information, isn’t it?
I don’t like paternalism, and this just strikes me as an example of it.
Hm, missed that quote, jsgoddess.
So, according to WhyNot I’m mentally unbalanced because I want to know if a creature I love has died. Well, so be it, I’m not normal then. It makes me think though that that sort of normal must be a lonely place.
Please. Unbunch your panties just a bit. I never said you were mentally unwell, I said my friend was mentally unwell, and she is. Of course, if your anxiety disorder is similarly unmedicated and so out of control that you’re taking a young healthy cat to the vet monthly whether she needs it or not and you’re choosing your housing based on what you imagine the cat likes to look at, then sure, you’re probably mentally unwell also.
jsgoddess, of course it’s your call. And if you tell me what you want, I’m happy to oblige. If you don’t tell me what you want, I’m acting in loco “parentis,” as it were, and will use *my *best judgement, since you haven’t supplied me with yours. Isn’t that what this whole thread is about - what we’d do if the cat owner didn’t leave instructions?
‘Your mother was on the roof…’ One of my favourite parts of Capricorn One. 
Well, to be fair, you did imply that those who would change their plans are not “normal mentally well people”:
Really. If I walked into my house, road-weary, maybe jet-lagged, looking forward to seeing my fuzzies, only to find a note and a stiff, possibly freezer-burned corpse* on top of my food…well, things wouldn’t be pretty. And if the person who had set me up for that acted like they were doing me some kind of favor…:eek: There’s just not enough WTF in the world.
*It happens quite a lot faster than you’d think, if you’ve never had a cadaver bag tear on you when handling a frozen critter.
Anyone else think of that frozen hamster episode of Everybody Loves Raymond - poor Pumpernickel
I’m just unsure why someone’s best judgment ever defaults to not telling people things that are their business. Someone upthread said that it’s my job to tell people what I would want, but honestly it would never have occurred to me that people would as a default rank a vacation so highly that they would start not telling me things about the animals I’ve left in their care.
I can start now, of course, any time we have a cat sitter, but after this thread, people who wouldn’t tell maybe have an obligation, too, to make sure their assumptions are warranted.