# Demanding Mistress?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/demanding-mistress/787112
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [May 20, 2017, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/demanding-mistress/787112 "2017-05-20T23:49:29Z")
**Posts on this page:** 10
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@drad\_dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drad_dog)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2017, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/demanding-mistress/787112/1 "2017-05-20T23:49:29Z")
What is the derivation of this phrase? I had an argument a long time ago about whether it was a boss/school mistress or a lover mistress. I can’t seem to get much on google. I’m pretty sure I was right that it means a boss or teacher.
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### Author:  [@Sigene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigene)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2017, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/demanding-mistress/787112/2 "2017-05-21T04:50:01Z")
I never considered it to be an actual woman, but instead a hobby or interest or perhaps even a job, that commands the interest of a person yet is often difficult or ‘demanding’ in the sense of challenging or onerous.
So it is neither a boss/teacher nor a lover. Its a metaphor.
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### Author:  [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2017, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/demanding-mistress/787112/3 "2017-05-21T12:12:21Z")
A metaphor maybe, but it’s easy to picture some guy whose mistress, jealous of his wife, wants more attention and presents to compensate.
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### Author:  [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2017, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/demanding-mistress/787112/4 "2017-05-21T17:53:14Z")
> [@bob\_2](#):
>
> A metaphor maybe, but it’s easy to picture some guy whose mistress, jealous of his wife, wants more attention and presents to compensate.
This is the interpretation I have always had.
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### Author:  [@drad\_dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drad_dog)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2017, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/demanding-mistress/787112/5 "2017-05-21T18:40:37Z")
> [@Sigene](#):
>
> I never considered it to be an actual woman, but instead a hobby or interest or perhaps even a job, that commands the interest of a person yet is often difficult or ‘demanding’ in the sense of challenging or onerous.
>
> So it is neither a boss/teacher nor a lover. Its a metaphor.
I think you missed my point? We know it’s a metaphor. The question is what for? The word mistress is in the phrase. I don’t know why. Who is challenging or onerous?
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### Author:  [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2017, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/demanding-mistress/787112/6 "2017-05-21T18:50:03Z")
> [@drad\_dog](#):
>
> I think you missed my point? We know it’s a metaphor. The question is what for? The word mistress is in the phrase. I don’t know why. Who is challenging or onerous?
The figurative sense of “mistress” is common enough that it’s even in some dictionaries, eg. [Merriam-Webster](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mistress)
> [@](#):
>
> something personified as female that rules, directs, or dominates
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### Author:  [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2017, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/demanding-mistress/787112/7 "2017-05-21T18:53:43Z")
ETA: I don’t think the figurative sense derives from mistress in the sense of an extra-marital sexual partner, rather mistress in the sense of a woman with power or authority.
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### Author:  [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2017, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/demanding-mistress/787112/8 "2017-05-21T21:14:49Z")
I always heard “harsh mistress.” E.g., the Moon.
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### Author:  [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2017, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/demanding-mistress/787112/9 "2017-05-21T21:21:16Z")
MY favorite “Tick” quote “Gravity is a harsh mistress!”
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### Author:  [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)
#### Post date: [May 22, 2017, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/demanding-mistress/787112/10 "2017-05-22T01:01:09Z")
> [@astro](#):
>
> MY favorite “Tick” quote “Gravity is a harsh mistress!”
I know I have seen either one of our resident physicists, aviators, or rocket scientists post the more direct “gravity is a bitch.”