# Democritus-Pucker Up, Ass Slammer!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [January 25, 2000, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071 "2000-01-25T05:51:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/1 "2000-01-25T06:03:00Z")
You know what Flypsyde? I have never posted in The Pit before, but I am going to now! I hate your sorry ass more than words can say! You are the most lowly detritus of the priordial ooze that I have ever seen! Your momma’s armpits are so hairy, it looks like she got Buckwheat in a head lock.
If you ever post anything derogatory about me again in MPSIMS I’m going to personally take you to the parking lot and beat your ass silly! You fucking MOOK! You stupid little piece of shit!
Don’t you ever, EVER talk shit about me again! I DARE you to come into chat! Come on! I’ll de-op your as so fast, you’ll think you’d been hit by lightning!
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### Author:  [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/2 "2000-01-25T06:03:00Z")
Yeah, I’ve had enough of your fuckin’ cutesy pie remarks, dicksmack. Blow me. I don’t need you interpreting my sense of humor for me, or for anyone else. Jam it sideways, fuckpig.
I don’t want to hear anymore of your butt-trumpeting, ass breath. Knock it the fuck off. Now. You’ve got me so pissed that I _fucking posted a blank topic_, knobgobbler.
And for anyone who’s interested, look at what Mr. Crap-with-Feet posted in this thread- [www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/004333.html](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/004333.html) .
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### Author:  [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/3 "2000-01-25T06:16:00Z")
yea Flyptard, like you have room to talk. I’ve been waiting to flame your loser ass since you fucked up my browsing with your Rickickcickcidickifuck thread, cocksmoke.
So pipe your whiny ass down, dickmunch.
* * *
Always be ready to speak your mind and a base man will avoid you.
-William Blake
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### Author:  [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/4 "2000-01-25T06:19:00Z")
You know what? If you **ever** have something to say to me Fylp: Tell it to the hand, 'cause the face ain’t gonna listen!
You’re such a pitiful piece of refuse. Why don’t you take a long walk off a short pier! May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your pubic hair!
Flyp, I wouldn’t touch you with a 39 & a 1/2 foot pole! You suck to my assmar and you don’t know what three words end in -gry! Why don’t you go fuck Loverock up the ass, and then flech him!
* * *
Bite Me!
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### Author:  [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/5 "2000-01-25T06:26:00Z")
Get a room!
* * *
Yer pal,
Satan
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### Author:  [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/6 "2000-01-25T06:27:00Z")
Jesus H. Christ, Demo! Get yer whiny little ass outta the Pit! Maybe you should wait and sttempt to flame someone until AFTER you sober up, you lush!
Keep working, and MAYBE you can achieve the glory Flyp has. Otherwise, shut yer pie hole.
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### Author:  [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/7 "2000-01-25T06:30:00Z")
I just came across this thread, and DAMN Democritus, you are WAY out of your league here. Flech? Priordial? Damn, **someone** needs a freakin’ dictionary! It would help if you werent such a lush! Go back to MPSIMS where you freakin belong. Flyp is an expert here, you’re a novice!
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### Author:  [@tiny\_cow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_cow)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/8 "2000-01-25T06:45:00Z")
What the hell? Dem, Flyp, whyncha go lick each other’s moldy crotches somewhere else, for fuck’s sake? You watery turd-faced bitches are beneath damned contempt. Your housepets are interior decorators! Your balls have collective circumferences the size of dust mites, and even your fucking houseplants retch at the sight of you!
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### Author:  [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/9 "2000-01-25T07:08:00Z")
Do you two realize what you have done ?
You have made our tiny, tiny cow curse, for shame !
Nice flame tiny cow, now go wash your fingers with soap, naughty girl.
* * *
Ayesha
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### Author:  [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/10 "2000-01-25T07:25:00Z")
With all the pissing and moaning, coupled with the overt homoerotic dynamic of the insults it is clear that Flyp and Democritus are in love. The junior high type teasing can only illustrate how powerful, yet immature, their passion for one another is. I wish you both a happy life together.
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### Author:  [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/11 "2000-01-25T09:39:00Z")
Well, I, for one, hope these two bastards choke on each others cocks. MPSIMS and SDMB Chat can use the clean-up.
## Wankers!
Coldfire
* * *
“You know how complex women are”
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
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### Author:  [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/12 "2000-01-25T09:47:00Z")
Um?
* * *
“…being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage.”
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### Author:  [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/13 "2000-01-25T14:55:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Tell it to the hand
Take it off your dick first.
> [@](#):
>
> Your momma’s armpits are so hairy, it looks like she got Buckwheat in a head lock.
_My momma?_ Your momma’s so goddam fat she was diagnosed with the flesh-eating virus and the doctor gave her thirteen fucking years to live!
Wanna little hint on how to clean up those typos? Remove your thumb and forefinger from your penis and type with both hands, you fucking bottomfeeder.
> [@](#):
>
> I wouldn’t touch you with a 39 & a 1/2 foot pole
Leave my dick out of this.
Honestly, you little shit-mite, you’ve got your head so far up your ass you’ve got one of Coldfire’s felching straws tucked behind your ear. You’re outta your league, sonny jim. Better pack up your Garfield lunchbox and toddle home, now.
And for those who felt the need to post to this thread in Nancy-boy’s defense…
tinycow-_Two fucking posts!!?!?!!?_ Do you even read this board?
> [@](#):
>
> With all the pissing and moaning, coupled with the overt homoerotic dynamic
Omni-The only thing homoerotic around here is your bedtime stories, shitbrick. Even if Democrappus and I were both off the market, it wouldn’t improve your chances of scoring, fucko.
> [@](#):
>
> Well, I, for one, hope these two bastards choke on each others cocks.
Coldfire-What, tired of felching, now you wanna see some hot guy-on-guy oral action, scrotum-breath?
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### Author:  [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/14 "2000-01-25T15:20:00Z")
Wow, 2 references to felching in 1 post. That’ll garner some bonus points.
Is this a real feud, or a surreptitious effort by both of you to make it on OpalCat’s page of flames?
* * *
My sig line is currently unavailable. Please check this post in 1 hour when we resume our broadcast day.
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### Author:  [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/15 "2000-01-25T15:27:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Originally posted by Flypsyde:
> \*\* Coldfire-What, tired of felching, now you wanna see some hot guy-on-guy oral action, scrotum-breath?
> \*\*
## No, I wanna see you **CHOKE TO DEATH** , you motherhumper !
Coldfire
* * *
“You know how complex women are”
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
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### Author:  [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/16 "2000-01-25T15:30:00Z")
I hope to God that I never get this upset about anything I read on my computer screen, especially the opinions of people I don’t know. However, this is amusing.
Since this is the Pit, allow me to add:
You are both a couple of fucking losers.
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### Author:  [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/17 "2000-01-25T16:42:00Z")
**And stop sending me private e-mails, you asswipe !!**
## 😃
Coldfire
* * *
“You know how complex women are”
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
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### Author:  [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/18 "2000-01-25T17:23:00Z")
And lay off the fag insults, you slack-bellied, hollow-chested monkey-fuckers!
You two are giving a bad name to knob-gobbling ass-bandits everywhere.
* * *
Live a Short Life as a Lush
Da Chef
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### Author:  [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2000, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/19 "2000-01-25T17:31:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Originally posted by Omniscient:
> **With all the pissing and moaning, coupled with the overt homoerotic dynamic of the insults it is clear that Flyp and Democritus are in love. The junior high type teasing can only illustrate how powerful, yet immature, their passion for one another is. I wish you both a happy life together.**
## And Omni, just because YOU like to dip your beloved’s pigtails in the inkwell doesn’t mean these two do. Mind your own fucking business.
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
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### Author:  [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2000, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/20 "2000-01-26T06:16:00Z")
Well, well. What do we have here? A couple of cum gargling flame queens throwing a hissy fit?
Did not! Did too! Oh, puh-leeze!
And Flyp, I saw your mother, She’s so fat that when she goes to the movies she sits next to EVERYONE. Get a makeover, Flyp. It won’t do a bit of good because you’re uglier than a hatful of assholes, but it’ll stop you from abusing yourself with powertools for a while.
As for you, I’m-just-a-Demo, pull the gerbil out of your ass and listen up. Divorcing your wife won’t make any difference. She’ll still be your sister. Stick a finger up your ass and another in your mouth, then switch fingers. That should keep you amused for hours.
* * *
When the pin is pulled, Mr.Grenade is no longer our friend.
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