# Democritus-Pucker Up, Ass Slammer!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [January 25, 2000, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071 "2000-01-25T05:51:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 7

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**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\
**Post date:** [February 7, 2000, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/121 "2000-02-07T21:59:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> if I were to look into your ear

Well, as I have no intention of putting my ear anywhere near your ass, I don’t think this will be happening.

> [@](#):
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> This thread used to be full of moderately interesting examples of invective

And then you started posting…

> [@](#):
>
> Obviously when you signed off from chat the other night by saying you were headed out to the horse barn for a ride, you were being metaphorical.

## Just a little suggestion…flames work a lot better when you actually insult somebody. I believe you’re missing a ‘not’ in that sentence, dumb shit. Goddam, Chef, I can’t do all the work here. Carry your own weight, fuckwad.

We interrupt this thread to increase  
dramatic tension.

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**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\
**Post date:** [February 7, 2000, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/122 "2000-02-07T22:27:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Obviously when you signed off from chat the other night by saying you were headed out to the horse barn for a ride, you were being metaphorical.

> [@](#):
>
> Just a little suggestion…flames work a lot better when you actually insult somebody. I believe you’re missing a ‘not’ in that sentence, dumb shit. Goddam, Chef, I can’t do all the work here. Carry your own weight, fuckwad.

It’s not missing a “not,” you pathetic excuse for an English speaker. That sentence says that although you were implying that you were heading out to ride a horse in the conventional manner, you were actually going to be ridden by a horse in a way normally found on stage in Amsterdam. (ride meaning fuck = metaphor)

And let me just forestall anyone who may be thinking (however dimly that word applies to you scrotes…to call you stupid is to insult stupid people everywhere) of making a fat joke out of his exhortation to “carry my own weight,” let me assure you that I’ve heard it all before. Besides, I look as thin as Ally McBeal compared to flypside’s mother…I hear she’s so fat she had to tie her dildo onto the end of a broomstick to reach around her gut to fuck herself. plus she’s so crosseyed that when she cries 'cause Demo can’t get it up, the tears run down her back.

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Live a Lush Life  
Da Chef

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**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [February 7, 2000, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/democritus-pucker-up-ass-slammer/4071/123 "2000-02-07T23:12:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Originally posted by Chef Troy:  
> \*\* It’s not missing a “not,” you pathetic excuse for an English speaker. That sentence says that although you were implying that you were heading out to ride a horse in the conventional manner, you were actually going to be ridden by a horse in a way normally found on stage in Amsterdam. (ride meaning fuck = metaphor)\*\*

## And just where is this? Please leave my peaceful, God-fearing hometown out of this.

**Coldfire**

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_ **"You know how complex women are"** _

- Neil Peart, **Rush** (1993)

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