I can relate to this 100%. My problem is the environment that gets out of control is a work situation. What I have to do then is try to figure out a way to get and keep a job that will be stable and secure.
Honest, but rhetorical question: How in the hell do I do that?
I agree. And I would add, depression is sure to cause unmet needs. When you can’t do anything but sleep and cry, you don’t get exercise, healthy food, and interaction with other people. Certainly forcing yourself, to the extent possible, to get those things can help manage the depression, but… what’s that thing about correlation and something else?
Yes, it is complicated and I have been through different types of anxiety and depression.
Several years ago it was the result of carpal tunnel syndrome in both wrists, with the numbness and tingling driving me out of my skull, causing lack of sleep, and yes, anxiety. Getting surgery resolved that one.
Later, perimenopause struck, causing me to feel weepy for no apparent reason. Blood tests revealed hormones out of whack. Gabapentin helps, though I don’t need to take it as much now.
I also had quite a bit of anxiety while my mom was suffering through the final stages of cancer and dying. This came on top of the aforementioned peri menopausal mess. No wonder I had to go back on lexapro.
I went through a bad period in my life at 40, divorce, lost my business etc. The real problem was what led to those things in the first place. The best advice I got was to become an actor, fake it till you make it. I won’t go into a bunch of boring details but the bottom line was my new attitude was getting me positive responses that I was emotionally feeding off of. Relationships at all levels, socially, professionally, family and casual relationships all got better. I am pretty sure the right kinds of chemicals were being generated and I was having a good response to them. My creativity levels picked up enormously and that was also generating even more of the good chemicals that opened new doors for me socially. 30 years later I feel like a different person than I was.
I’m glad that worked for you. It sounds perfectly hellish to me.
Exercise, specifically walks, long walks, always worked for me. Swimming was good, too.
I dunno, that’s something I learned too. I’ve worked Security, I’ve worked helpdesk, I’ve worked IT database support. You have to ‘put on a good face’ and work from a positive attitude, even when you just hurt inside. You have to learn and recognize that throwing your pain at other people, who have nothing to do with it and don’t deserve it, isn’t going to help you or them. So you smile, and be pleasant, and be polite.
The best part of that is learning that being positive and pleasant and smiling in people’s faces when they’re being complete assholes only makes them angrier, but they can’t complain about you, because you’re not returning the bad behavior. You may want to seriously fuck them up and tear them a new asshole because of the way you feel inside and all that, but after the fact, that “wow, I didn’t break down and do something I regretted, and that guy just went completely mental when I smiled and said no was way more than worth it!”
Good manners are one thing, and a very good thing, but I can think of nothing more depressing, in either sense of the word, than being liked only when one is pretending to be something one is not.
Kind of like being to told to “smile” for no reason.
Well, as I more or less said in my post there; Other people haven’t done anything to deserve your pain being thrown in their face. Being unpleasant because you hurt inside is being unfair to yourself as well as other people.
Yeah, took me a very long time to learn that. I too thought I was just being who I was, but who I was, was unnecessarily being an unpleasant jerk to people who very often had done nothing to deserve it. People aren’t going to be your friend if they find you unpleasant to be around, so you’re sabotaging your own life by doing so. Which then only feeds your depression and social anxiety.
That business about getting rid of the bereavement exclusion made me pay no attention to the rest of the article. I am neither a psychologist not a psychiatrist, but my understanding was that getting rid of the bereavement exclusion was not for the purpose of diagnosing all bereaved people with major depressive disorder, but rather to allow clinicians to diagnose MDD when the patient met the criteria even if he or she was recently bereaved while the exclusion discouraged such a diagnosis within two months of a loss.
In other words, one can be bereaved and in the midst of a major depressive episode at the same time - which seems to be basic common sense to me. After all, having major depressive disorder doesn’t mean you can’t lose someone close to you and it seems to me that loss of a loved one might trigger an episode.
But no one is going to have all their needs met. I want world peace, and until then I will remain depressed? No, depression is a mental health condition. It has to do with brain chemistry which is why people have good and bad days not tied to any events. Clinical depression is like someone having their oxygen supply severely limited, and it isn’t because they simply aren’t taking big enough breaths.
There is depression from an event such as someone close to you dying, losing your job, you have your home foreclosed on, your car being repossessed, your pet dying. This might be called depression which is a temporary condition, but this isn’t the same as clinical depression which needs to be treated with medications such as Antidepressants and Anti-anxiety drugs and psychotherapy for coping. Clinical depression isn’t about needs not being met.
I think over time you will be proven wrong in the majority of cases. I agree on the chemical imbalance thing but I also have seen too many instances where behavior modification radically changes the chemical balance.
Behavior not only can affect brain chemistry, it can stimulate neurogenesis. Some of us are screwed no matter what we do, but it can make a difference for many. For me, my depression is sometimes affected by my behavior and sometimes not. I do what I can.
if you add together all the people in our society who have depression and/or anxiety to a clinical extent, I wonder if it’s more than half? it sure seems like it.
I imagine that at least a couple of people in this thread think unfavorably of me, my views, and/or how I expressed them. (I myself might not be thrilled with same.)
If you are one of those, do you think me an asshole? An unpleasant person lacking compassion? Or someone experiencing a mental/emotional condition?
Ought I do something myself to change my views and behaviors? Or ought individuals and society as a whole welcome, accommodate, understand, and enable me?
Does your response differ whether I perceive and present myself as someone responsible for my own behaviors, as opposed to someone who desires/expects to be accommodated?
I do not question the fact that there are SOME people with profoundly limiting mental/emotional conditions. Just about EVERYONE experiences transient difficulties, or problematic perceptions/personality traits. I suspect many people differ as to where they make distinctions along those continua.
I tend to mostly agree with you and I consider myself to be a compassionate person. Maybe I tend to favor tough love but I do feel empathy for those suffering. It reminds me of a lady I knew about 30 years ago, she was going through a divorce the same time as me and I met her in a support group I attended for a few weeks. We became friends and continued to talk for several years. When I first met her she was sad and somewhat depressed about her husband leaving her for a thinner, prettier woman but overall seemed pretty normal with a pleasant personality. Over a period of about 3 years the doctors had her so drugged out and diagnosed with every multiple personality, dual diagnosis, manic depressive thing you can imagine. She had basically become a zombie and was never really given a chance to recover. I lost track of her after a while but she was on a steep downhill slide from the time she started seeing doctors for her depression.
Most of the conditions are probably physical, rather than personal history. It is a trait. Some people are affected by events more than others but it was all in there to start with.
Taking myself as an example, I can only get anxious, rarely anything called depressed. Sad at appropriate times.
That does not come within my definition of good manners.
This. We don’t tell people with a broken leg to snap out of it and go run a marathon. Yet some will tell folks with depression to snap out of it and stop moping around.
Why? Because it’s not visible like a cast on a leg. And they don’t get it, and so on.
Just as some people will tell people with huge back problems* that they should get over it and they’re just faking their pain. Because it isn’t visible like a broken leg.
It has nothing to do with snapping out of it. There are behavior techniques that can be learned which can help to balance out our brain chemicals and hormones. We are generating these things 24 hours a day in response to most every sensation we have. If you are not generating the right chemicals you will be depressed. Synthetic substitutes can help to alleviate this but can’t possibly act on us on cue. A more natural approach can be a lot more effective. The first step is just accepting this premise and then acting on it.