# Describe Your Million Dollar Invention **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 10, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749 "2009-12-10T18:14:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![JFLuvly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ac91a4/32.png) [@JFLuvly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JFLuvly)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/61 "2009-12-17T20:25:56Z")
> [@](#): > > I hate when you don’t have a plug in the right place in a room. Do you mean something like this… [http://www.luxuryhousingtrends.com/archive/2007/07/movable-electri/](http://www.luxuryhousingtrends.com/archive/2007/07/movable-electri/) or this [http://www.freepatentsonline.com/5052937.html](http://www.freepatentsonline.com/5052937.html) ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/62 "2009-12-17T21:41:50Z")
> [@Taipan](#): > > It’s a bicycle designed so that horses can ride it, and humans can ride the horses or maybe a chariot like device. > Think about it. Bicycles - awesome efficiency. Horses = awesome power. Horse bicycle = Super awesome mode of transport that goes super fast and runs on hay at top efficiency. This thing could be flying down a highway at 80km/h with the horse barely breaking a sweat. All the gears, brakes and steering would be setup to give the driver total control in a way that would not allow the horse to injure itself. > The horses would probably have to be brought up to the device from birth, but I think they would really get to like it much like a hamster on his wheel, or a carnival bear on his tricycle. > Goggles would be mandatory for horse and driver. > You could also set up a dozen horses on rail bikes, pulling rail cars. Possibilities are endless. > > This idea is yours for 10 million dollars. It’ll probably revolutionize the auto industry entirely, so I think its a fair price. Ah, the elusive equinocycle. You’re preaching to the choir, brother, I know it well. I’ve had a variety of equinocycle prototypes in development for years now—it’s a bit of an obsession with me. Although a joyous endeavor, for the most part, there have been a number of, how shall I say, catastrophic blunders of epic proportion, sprinkled amongst the blissful hours of tinkering. So, before you too embark on this noble engineering pursuit, let me give you a few pearls of wisdom I’ve gleaned the hard way on my quest for equinocycle excellence, lest you repeat the mistakes I’ve made. To wit: drafting your equinocyle between two 18-wheelers going highway speed should generally be avoided around tight curves; miscalculating the higher center of gravity balance point inherent with your mass atop a horse atop a bicycle traveling rapidly down a steep and icy hill is both treacherous and embarrassing; if you find yourself behind another equinocycle, whose horse has recently eaten a large meal, be sure to keep your mouth closed; do not automatically assume that you will score some down and dirty biker-babe strange if you weave your equinocycle amongst the rumbling v-twin choppers down Main Street in Daytona Beach during Bike week, dressed as the Lone Ranger, yelling _Hi-Yo Silver!_, with a Tonto-costumed Squirrel Monkey sitting on your shoulder (I’m pretty sure it was that damned monkey who made me appear somewhat less than cool to the lady bystanders:mad:). Gosh, all this talk about unique transportation involving animals, makes me pine for the good old days of monkey jockeys: [The Greyhound Races](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greyhound_jockey) [A well groomed jockey](http://www.pbase.com/wyk/image/8343288) ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2009, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/63 "2009-12-18T01:59:54Z")
Incremental brake lights. You’re driving along, and suddenly the tail lights on the car in front of you light up. But you don’t know whether he’s gently tapping his foot or really slamming on the brakes. So you have to assume the worst. With incremental brake lights, the heavier he’s braking, the brighter they get. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2009, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/64 "2009-12-18T13:47:44Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Incremental brake lights. > > You’re driving along, and suddenly the tail lights on the car in front of you light up. But you don’t know whether he’s gently tapping his foot or really slamming on the brakes. So you have to assume the worst. With incremental brake lights, the heavier he’s braking, the brighter they get. Love it. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2009, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/65 "2009-12-18T13:54:01Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Incremental brake lights. > > You’re driving along, and suddenly the tail lights on the car in front of you light up. But you don’t know whether he’s gently tapping his foot or really slamming on the brakes. So you have to assume the worst. With incremental brake lights, the heavier he’s braking, the brighter they get. Your basic idea is good. I’ve thought of it but I think a better idea would be to have the center brake light flash. A slow flash would indicate light braking. The harder the braking, the faster the flashing. I think it would do more to send instantaneous information to following drivers. ---
**Author:** ![Adversary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@Adversary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adversary)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2009, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/66 "2009-12-18T15:28:12Z")
> [@JFLuvly](#): > > Do you mean something like this… > > [http://www.luxuryhousingtrends.com/archive/2007/07/movable-electri/](http://www.luxuryhousingtrends.com/archive/2007/07/movable-electri/) > > or this > > [Baseboard with movable electrical outlet - GLEN; BRYAN D.](http://www.freepatentsonline.com/5052937.html) Yes exactly. Ok I can sleep now knowing I shouldn’t have tried to patent this idea. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2009, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/67 "2009-12-19T22:33:35Z")
I think I have already posted this idea here, but anyways here it goes. **LifeArt, Inc.** For all legitimate and practical purposes this is a new and untapped business opportunity in the Body Art and Mortuary Sciences and Services Category. Quite simply, we will provide a preservation and “living memorial” service for people who have tattoo art and would like to preserve the works of art for all time and posterity (or at least, indefinitely). We will provide both immediate services and a structured life insurance policy type arrangement for the surgical removal, preservation, and artistic mounting or display of a persons tattoo/tattoos at time of death. Their art, personality, and a true piece of themselves will persist physically into eternity. I figure I will need some doctors on service and on call, some full time mortuary scientists, and some talented fabricators/artists, as well as an actuary. We will simply offer pamphlets and displays to interested tattoo parlors and perhaps develop some type of relationship with them as agents of our services. ---
**Author:** ![zoog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7ea924/32.png) [@zoog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoog)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2009, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/68 "2009-12-19T22:59:47Z")
If someone wants to make a million dollars on this one, more power to them. I lack the technical skills to pull it off: Have you ever been annoyed by passing vehicles with the bass on the stereo cranked up to a level that could kill a small animal? One of those cars that you can hear coming from a mile out? Sure you have. Well, behold the bass-seeking missile. This little beauty will home in on the sonic signal put off by the perpertator and send a small device which will attach to their vehicle and use a targeted electro-magnetic pulse to fry the electronic systems, thereby eliminating the offending noise. Sure, we’ll have some traffic issues resulting, but I think that we’d all enjoy watching the ensuing hilarity. Seriously. Someone needs to make this. I’ll buy two. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/69 "2009-12-20T01:31:09Z")
> [@Spartydog](#): > > Your basic idea is good. I’ve thought of it but I think a better idea would be to have the center brake light flash. A slow flash would indicate light braking. The harder the braking, the faster the flashing. I think it would do more to send instantaneous information to following drivers. I seem to recall this exact thing in the newly patented ideas column of Popular Science magazine back in the late '60s or early '70s. ---
**Author:** ![EpicNonsense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c37758/32.png) [@EpicNonsense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EpicNonsense)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/70 "2009-12-20T01:44:57Z")
Exercise equipment that generates and stores electricity If it was for the home, even better All I’m willing to share lol ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/71 "2009-12-20T05:29:49Z")
Heated wiper blades for faster removal of frost and ice. Or maybe even heated window scrapers? I dunno… _something_ heated. ---
**Author:** ![NoiseBomb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/49beb7/32.png) [@NoiseBomb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoiseBomb)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/72 "2009-12-20T06:20:52Z")
> [@JFLuvly](#): > > Do you mean something like this… > > [http://www.luxuryhousingtrends.com/archive/2007/07/movable-electri/](http://www.luxuryhousingtrends.com/archive/2007/07/movable-electri/) > > or this > > [Baseboard with movable electrical outlet - GLEN; BRYAN D.](http://www.freepatentsonline.com/5052937.html) Is it just me or are there no prices anywhere on there? Or is it one of those “if you have to ask, you can’t afford it” type of things? Still, I want a setup like that in each room. No, not want. NEED. Whoever invented those DESERVES to be a millionaire. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/73 "2009-12-20T08:57:28Z")
A slip that is opaque on top but slowly becomes more see-through near the hem, so that when you are wearing a flimsy dress there is no obvious slip line. A cell phone that makes you do a series of math problems before you text late at night, to slow the incidence of drunk texting. More seriously, a senior citizen home that offers multiple levels of care seamlessly. They could function as an independent living facility, assisted care facility and nursing home all under the same roof. I’ve had relatives that have had to move between these, and it’s always really traumatic for them. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/74 "2009-12-20T14:03:46Z")
Here are two million dollar ideas of mine. If they don’t cost you a million dollars to implement before you see the first dime of profit, you can have the ideas for free! 😉 1. WJAM - all traffic radio, all the time. I live in the DC metro area. The traffic both sucks AND blows! When I catch the local traffic reports on the radio they either don’t cover where I’m driving (um, it’s called the Commonwealth of Virginia, and people do actually drive there to and from DC and MD :rolleyes: ), or they don’t report on the traffic problems in enough detail to do me any good, or by the time they play a traffic report I’m already stuck ion the easily avoidable jam. Sure, the traffic reports are one or two minutes every ten minutes, but in DC that not enough. I’m sure LA and NYC metro areas have the same problem, among other locales. So have a radio station that’s all traffic all the time. No news, no sports, no music, no DJs with lame jokes. Just enough weather to report on its affects on traffic. Traffic and ads - that’s it! WJAM - around the beltway, around the clock. If traffic is moving well during the non-rush hour (and in DC it’s NON-rush that’s only one hour a day :rolleyes: ), have traffic related talk shows. "Today we have the head of VDOT, taking you questions on snow removal … " When I first thought of this brainstorm, I ran it past my sister who was in radio at the time. She wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole. You probably shouldn’t either. 1. Pocket computer that’s a real computer By “real” computer I mean something with a full-sized keyboard and a full-sized screen. Cell phones these days are a darn sight more capable than desktop computers of just a few years ago. I’ve seen ads for a cell phone that comes with a screen projector, so you can share still pictures and videos with friends, without crowding around a small screen. I don’t know what the cell phone uses, but something like [this projector](http://www.tigerdirect.com/applications/SearchTools/item-details.asp?EdpNo=4340434&Sku=T350-3000) would do fine. Mate that cell phone + projector with this [virtual keyboard](http://www.thinkgeek.com/computing/keyboards-mice/8193/) (which I first saw on CSI), and mount the whole thing in a folding frame. The frame lifts the device above a table so you can project the keyboard onto the surface, and type away. The frame also has a cloth screen onto which the projector displays a computer GUI desktop. Bingo, with existing tech you have a computer with a usable standard keyboard and a visible standard screen, that also folds up into your jacket pocket. Your cell phone company would be more than happy to sell such a thing with an overpriced data plan to “road warriors”. When you’ve lost your million dollars on this, you can thank me. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2009, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/75 "2009-12-20T23:53:49Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > I seem to recall this exact thing in the newly patented ideas column of Popular Science magazine back in the late '60s or early '70s. Of course, like anything that ever showed up in that column, nothing further was ever heard of it. ---
**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/76 "2009-12-21T05:09:42Z")
> [@Typo\_Knig](#): > > Here are two million dollar ideas of mine. If they don’t cost you a million dollars to implement before you see the first dime of profit, you can have the ideas for free! 😉 > > 1. WJAM - all traffic radio, all the time. > > I live in the DC metro area. The traffic both sucks AND blows! When I catch the local traffic reports on the radio they either don’t cover where I’m driving (um, it’s called the Commonwealth of Virginia, and people do actually drive there to and from DC and MD :rolleyes: ), or they don’t report on the traffic problems in enough detail to do me any good, or by the time they play a traffic report I’m already stuck ion the easily avoidable jam. Sure, the traffic reports are one or two minutes every ten minutes, but in DC that not enough. I’m sure LA and NYC metro areas have the same problem, among other locales. > > So have a radio station that’s all traffic all the time. No news, no sports, no music, no DJs with lame jokes. Just enough weather to report on its affects on traffic. Traffic and ads - that’s it! > > WJAM - around the beltway, around the clock. It’s operational and is called Sirius/XM radio. It carries constant traffic and weather information on an assigned station for DC and a lot of other metro areas. It gets better than that, no ads! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/77 "2009-12-21T07:37:27Z")
You’d be surprised what’s already out there. From the top of my head: > [@butler1850](#): > > A device, which you attach to your remote controls. You make a loud noise (clapper style) and it chirps, or makes a noise. > > I hate trying to find the remote. I already own [this](http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/186-4930470-5023760?ASIN=B000ODQ7EQ&AFID=Froogle&LNM=B000ODQ7EQ%7CWhistleandFind_Remote_Control_Locator_3_pk.&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=B000ODQ7EQ&ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001). It works even without the whistle. > [@Shakes](#): > > Also, vibrating “earphones” for the deaf. A device that could be worn as a necklace or around the cusp of the ears. Instead of music coming out, the “earphones” would just vibrate along with the tempo of the music. > **[MMMuummmuummuusssssiiiiiiiiccccc for the deaf - Yanko Design](https://www.yankodesign.com/2008/07/11/mmmuummmuummuusssssiiiiiiiiccccc-for-the-deaf/)** > > Before I get tons of comments as to the merits(or lack there of) of this design, hear me out. I am all for inspiring designers to help people that are not given the same gifts most of us are born with. The gift of hearing is one of those we all take... > [@norinew](#): > > I’d package a ready-to-drink Long Island Iced Tea that will kick your ass like the real thing! I’m not sure you’d make as much money as you think with this. It seems like the trend right now is to reduce the amount in alcohol in items, so you sell more of it. > [@chappachula](#): > > here’s a silly idea, but would work for cat lovers: > A cat collar with a bow. Or the standard flea collar, jazzed up with a bow tie on the buckle. Well, the non-flea collar has already been [covered](http://store.dapperdog.com/). > [@even\_sven](#): > > A cell phone that makes you do a series of math problems before you text late at night, to slow the incidence of drunk texting. Google’s probably already has the [patent for that](http://www.switched.com/2008/10/08/google-goggles-the-e-mail-breathalyzer/). ---
**Author:** ![EpicNonsense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c37758/32.png) [@EpicNonsense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EpicNonsense)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/78 "2009-12-21T08:28:28Z")
> [@Typo\_Knig](#): > > 1. Pocket computer that’s a real computer Had this exact conversation this past week.. I thought for a second I was reading my own post. Can’t wait til these 2 come together. ---
**Author:** ![Caiata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e56c9b/32.png) [@Caiata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caiata)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/79 "2009-12-21T11:24:11Z")
I want to make a toaster with transparent sides, so you can check on the progress of your toast and stop it before it is too late! I have never had a reliable toaster (probably because I never want to spend more than $60 on it), so the first pair of toast, which I invariably make for my boyfriend, comes out just fine, but the second pair of toast, for me, seems to burn after 10 seconds. Argh! Of course I realise this would be hard since you need heating elements on either side of the bread slice and you might not be able to see much with those heating elements in the way, so this is why I haven’t really invented it yet. But seriously, it’s nearly 2010, we shouldn’t have to put up with the blight that is burnt toast anymore! ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749/80 "2009-12-21T13:50:35Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Incremental brake lights. > > You’re driving along, and suddenly the tail lights on the car in front of you light up. But you don’t know whether he’s gently tapping his foot or really slamming on the brakes. So you have to assume the worst. With incremental brake lights, the heavier he’s braking, the brighter they get. BMWs already have this on board their 5 series for a couple of years now. A bloke at work has an idea of a gizmo to help people tie party balloons. It’ similar to the tools used in fly fishing to tie small knots, only this would be for latex balloons. You’d only need to see them for 50p but you could shift 1000s of them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-million-dollar-invention/520749.md?page=5)