# Describe your perfect mate
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [November 11, 2005, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595 "2005-11-11T17:50:46Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/1 "2005-11-11T17:50:46Z")
_sighs, adjusts wings, checks tips of arrows_
All right, guys, I’ve been really busy lately, so I apologize if I haven’t gotten your True Loves™ to you on time, but I’m back on schedule now…
What’ll you all have? _gets out Blackberry, begins to write_
(Should OP confuse you, see title for details. :))
---
### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/2 "2005-11-11T17:56:08Z")
I’ve got mine, at home. Hands (and arrows) off. _snarls_
---
### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/3 "2005-11-11T17:58:36Z")
Mine returns to me Thursday. But thanks for the offer.
---
### Author:  [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/4 "2005-11-11T17:59:47Z")
> [@Anaamika](#):
>
> I’ve got mine, at home. Hands (and arrows) off. _snarls_
Yeeeeesh, lady, you could say _thanks_ to the goddess of love who got you there in the first place, y’know… :rolleyes: 😉
Okay, a qualifer: All **single** people, taking your orders now!
---
### Author:  [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/5 "2005-11-11T18:24:38Z")
Female, mid-to-late-30’s, clever, creative, active, eccentric tastes, likes to travel, shoulder-length hair, glasses.
---
### Author:  [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/6 "2005-11-11T18:40:58Z")
She would make me laugh - often. She would think of me at unexpected times - thus making me feel important. She enjoy sex nearly as much as I do (or more.) She would be intelligent. She need not be “hot” but I will need to find her attractive. She would understand that even though I care about her, that doesn’t mean I can read her mind or always know what to say or do.
She would have big breasts and red hair. (OK, those two are optional. 🙂 )
---
### Author:  [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/7 "2005-11-11T18:57:10Z")
My dream woman?
Intelligent.
She would have intelligence, and not be ashamed of it. Plusses for being comfortable with maths, science, technology, computers, etc. Not that she has to make them the centre of her life or anything, just not be afraid of them.
Creative.
She would have her own voice, do her own art, have her own style.
Independent.
She would not be _blindly_ following someone else’s line. This includes everything from religion to fashion. Conscious chioce is good.
Empathetic and socially skilled.
You know, all that stuff I have difficulty with.
Single.
At my age, that’s an important qualifier. 🙂
Non-smoker.
Almost the only non-negotiable thing. If you’re a woman, smoking is the quickest way to cause me to lose interest in you.
Multilingual.
A nice extra. Knowing or being interested in Esperanto would be even nicer.
Also: a sense of humour, no whack-job craziness, etc. You know.
After this, the usual list of desired physical attributes seems lame. They are still important, but I have learned that I can meet someone who would seem to be ideal, and there’s no ‘click’, and sometimes the most unixpected person can Be Of Great Interest. Still, I’ll add that I like busty curvy women with a few extra kilos… although that is far from exclusive.
---
### Author:  [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/8 "2005-11-11T19:00:38Z")
I have my perfect mate, so I’ll just describe him :).
Caring and attentive to others. Smart and willing to learn new things. Stands up for what he believes in. Hopelessly romantic. Incredibly sexy/attractive (in my eyes anyway). Doesn’t shave off all his chest hair and stuff. Nice hair. Nice hair is a must. Animal lover, also a lover of nature and the outdoors. Friendly, outgoing, and easy to get along with. Same (or at least not radically different) views on religion, and spirituality. Embraces who I am and lets me be my own person.
---
### Author:  [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/9 "2005-11-11T19:17:30Z")
> [@Kythereia](#):
>
> _sighs, adjusts wings, checks tips of arrows_
>
> …
>
> What’ll you all have? _gets out Blackberry, begins to write_
male - 45-52, at least 5’11", well proportioned, healthy but not overly atheletic. Financially solvent, loves his parents but (if they’re still living) does not live with them. Single prefered, widowed okay, divorce acceptable if not recent. If he has kids, they’re grown and living on their own. Jewish preferred, other okay (except devout Catholic - we’d have too many roadblocks to stumble across) Resides in NYC metro area.
He has a wide range of interests and is not fanatical about any one of them. He knows how to listen, but is not overly emotional. He can control his anger. He is romantic but not possessive. He is sexual but not exclusively so. (on some dating sites, the men I’ve been “matched” with have a tendancy to put sex as a first priority. It’s important in a relationship, yes. But other things are more important)
Actually - if you could invent a fast acting clone blender, I’d like to take bits of most of the guys I know and create my ideal from that.
---
### Author:  [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/10 "2005-11-11T19:42:10Z")
I would have written more but I’m feeling particularly laconic and desperate today.
---
### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/11 "2005-11-11T19:49:23Z")
> [@Kythereia](#):
>
> _sighs, adjusts wings, checks tips of arrows_
>
> All right, guys, I’ve been really busy lately, so I apologize if I haven’t gotten your True Loves™ to you on time, but I’m back on schedule now…
>
> What’ll you all have? _gets out Blackberry, begins to write_
>
> [/SIZE]
Ok, ok, ok…how about some of that Pierce Brosnan? Can I have a temporary arrow? Thanks, love.
---
### Author:  [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/12 "2005-11-11T19:55:29Z")
After many months of agonizing over this, I’ve realized, oddly, that I’m not ready to meet her yet. I’ve got stuff I need to finish fixing about myself first. So, uhm, can you hold an arrow for me til I’m done? Promise I won’t be too long.
---
### Author:  [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/13 "2005-11-11T20:07:16Z")
Kind, smart, fit. Likes dogs, bunnies and redheads. Laughs at my jokes. Has a job of some sort. No prison record, and limited mental illness, SVP.
---
### Author:  [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/14 "2005-11-11T22:17:27Z")
Local. Independent. No shorter than 5’6, no taller than 7’0 (I’m 5’3). No younger than 33, no older than 45. Either divorced, widowed, or never married – no separated men or open relationships, please. Kids are optional, but I’m not sure if I want my own so I probably wouldn’t be a good match for someone who is looking to procreate his own baseball team. Should at least _like_ animals, and be willing to live with a dog someday. Eclectic tastes in music, movies, books. Varied interests. Able/willing to both learn and teach (there are some things in life he’ll know more about, and some things I’ll know more about). Not intimidated by a woman with a stereotypically male sex drive (stock up on the little blue pills if you must ;)). Outgoing and confident, but not arrogant or pretentious. Must spell reasonably well, and use decent grammar. Must appreciate culture and love music, and enjoy venues as varied as the [Kennedy Center](http://www.kennedy-center.org/), the [Birchmere](http://www.birchmere.com/), the [9:30 Club](http://www.930.com/), and local bars with bands we’ve never heard of before. Nonsmoker, likes beer, doesn’t care that I’m not into wine. Active, but with an appreciation for balance: neither rock-climbing nor couch surfing every weekend, but maybe hiking/camping one weekend followed by a James Bond marathon the next. Will let me drive about half of the time. Willing to be physically uncomfortable in order to gain something else (for example, right now I’m freezing my ass off sitting outside by a lake in NY state, because the sunset is _amazing_). Believes me when I say that I’m very straightforward and without guile, and won’t constantly second-guess me. That shit pisses me off.
I guess he should be willing to read long, rambling messages, too. 😉
This is one time when I wish we could edit our posts, because I know that the moment I click “submit” I’m going to think of something terribly important that I forgot to mention! 🙂
One last thing: **Sunspace** needs to seriously consider moving just a _little_ bit southeast. 😉
---
### Author:  [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/15 "2005-11-11T22:20:38Z")
> [@misnomer](#):
>
> One last thing: Sunspace needs to seriously consider moving just a little bit southeast.
He doesn’t have to go that far - he can stop on Long Island :D:D:D
---
### Author:  [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/16 "2005-11-11T22:50:47Z")
Female, educated, moderately intelligent, 30ish, ready to start a family. Of a gentle disposition and pleasant personality. Someone who doesn’t need to be made to laugh - especially as I’ve next to no sense of humour. Looks are actually secondary as long as all the right bits are in the right places and in the right proportions. A beautiful woman often stops being attractive when she opens her mouth; an attractive woman becomes beautiful when she smiles.
---
### Author:  [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/17 "2005-11-11T22:58:52Z")
> [@Robot Arm](#):
>
> Female, mid-to-late-30’s, clever, creative, active, eccentric tastes, likes to travel, shoulder-length hair, glasses.
I guess 42’s too old then, huh? And anyway, I like to travel so much that I’m temporarily living in the Netherlands at present, which is a long way to shoot an arrow. 🙂
---
### Author:  [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)
#### Post date: [November 11, 2005, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/18 "2005-11-11T23:48:53Z")
The closest thing to a lead I’ve had in a year is a friend of mine who met someone who’s just perfect for me, except she lives in California and is married. I’m pretty flexible on the whole hemisphere thing at the moment.
---
### Author:  [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2005, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/19 "2005-11-12T01:20:17Z")
> [@Misnomer](#):
>
> Local.
:: checks location ::
Uh oh.
> [@](#):
>
> Independent. No shorter than 5’6, no taller than 7’0 (I’m 5’3).
Check.
> [@](#):
>
> No younger than 33, no older than 45.
Check. :: small sigh of relief at over-40s being considered ::
> [@](#):
>
> Either divorced, widowed, or never married – no separated men or open relationships, please.
Check.
> [@](#):
>
> Kids are optional, but I’m not sure if I want my own so I probably wouldn’t be a good match for someone who is looking to procreate his own baseball team.
Check. Kids are nice. I let my friends have them, and then go to visit them. 🙂
> [@](#):
>
> Should at least _like_ animals, and be willing to live with a dog someday.
Depends on the dog. Siberian husky = okay. Yapdog = not.
> [@](#):
>
> Eclectic tastes in music, movies, books. Varied interests. Able/willing to both learn and teach (there are some things in life he’ll know more about, and some things I’ll know more about).
Check, I hope. Does the fact that I just bought my fourth Sigur Ros CD count? 🙂 And I explain stuff for a living, which means I need to learn about it.
> [@](#):
>
> Not intimidated by a woman with a stereotypically male sex drive (stock up on the little blue pills if you must ;)).
Smiles.
> [@](#):
>
> Outgoing and confident, but not arrogant or pretentious. Must spell reasonably well, and use decent grammar.
I’m a tech writer. Does that count?
> [@](#):
>
> Must appreciate culture and love music, and enjoy venues as varied as the [Kennedy Center](http://www.kennedy-center.org/), the [Birchmere](http://www.birchmere.com/), the [9:30 Club](http://www.930.com/), and local bars with bands we’ve never heard of before.
Culture is good. I’m willing to learn.
> [@](#):
>
> Nonsmoker, likes beer, doesn’t care that I’m not into wine.
Non-alcoholic, but not dogmatic about it.
> [@](#):
>
> Active, but with an appreciation for balance: neither rock-climbing nor couch surfing every weekend, but maybe hiking/camping one weekend followed by a James Bond marathon the next.
Need to exercise more, so why not?
> [@](#):
>
> Will let me drive about half of the time.
I haven’t a car. Negotiations may be in order for this point.
> [@](#):
>
> Willing to be physically uncomfortable in order to gain something else (for example, right now I’m freezing my ass off sitting outside by a lake in NY state, because the sunset is _amazing_).
Been there, done that, metaphorically speaking.
> [@](#):
>
> Believes me when I say that I’m very straightforward and without guile, and won’t constantly second-guess me. That shit pisses me off.
Yes!
> [@](#):
>
> One last thing: **Sunspace** needs to seriously consider moving just a _little_ bit southeast. 😉
:eek: 🆒 😃
…so, how _you_ doin’? 🙂
---
### Author:  [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2005, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595/20 "2005-11-12T01:22:23Z")
> [@anyrose](#):
>
> He doesn’t have to go that far - he can stop on Long Island :D:D:D
:eek: :: blush :: Why, thank you. And here I thought I was too young, short, and pagan for your consideration. 🙂
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/describe-your-perfect-mate/330595.md?page=2)