# Deserving something because everyone else has it **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 9, 2018, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deserving-something-because-everyone-else-has-it/813871 "2018-05-09T18:16:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2018, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deserving-something-because-everyone-else-has-it/813871/21 "2018-05-10T08:26:11Z")
Amy’s “right” to a cupcake trumps her teacher’s “right” to abuse her power to distribute what is about to be a community asset, where Amy is a member in otherwise good standing of the community. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2018, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deserving-something-because-everyone-else-has-it/813871/22 "2018-05-10T10:19:49Z")
I think the picture changes if the teacher is swapped out for a stranger passing out cupcakes to all the neighborhood kids except for Amy. She still has a right to be pissed off, but this really is a situation where entitlement doesn’t come into play. I think kids are entitled to fair and equitable treatment from their teachers. But I don’t think they are entitled to the same from strangers. It would be nice, of course. But it’s not a realistic expectation. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2018, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deserving-something-because-everyone-else-has-it/813871/23 "2018-05-10T11:20:28Z")
Wrong question. Did Amy deserve to be singled out and humiliated? ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2018, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deserving-something-because-everyone-else-has-it/813871/24 "2018-05-10T11:52:23Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Is Amy deserving of a cupcake because every student around her has one, and also, if she feels that she deserves a cupcake, are her feelings justified? Amy is justified in feeling unfairly left out because it is reasonable to expect the teacher to give cupcakes to all her students barring special circumstances (e.g. misbehavior, allergy, etc). It is not reasonable to expect this kind of generous impartiality out in the real world when it comes to things of value. It should be understood that everything comes with conditions. “Deserving” a raise, for instance, depends on whether the work you’re doing is worth more to the company than what you’re currently getting. If others get raises, that doesn’t mean you should. Same with relationships. Just because everyone you know has a spouse, doesn’t mean you deserve one, too. No one is obligated to be impartial when it comes to relationships. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2018, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deserving-something-because-everyone-else-has-it/813871/25 "2018-05-10T12:33:08Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > The term deserve and earn seem to both come loaded with moral implications. It has been determined that in discussions between my husband and I, the word “deserve” really puts my fur up, while for him, it is the word “lucky”. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2018, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deserving-something-because-everyone-else-has-it/813871/26 "2018-05-10T12:40:45Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > Yes. Studies have shown that a pattern of unequal treatment among primates leads to very bad behaviour. ☹ Yup. [Here’s a pretty funny demonstration.](https://youtu.be/le-74R9C6Bc?t=812) ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2018, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deserving-something-because-everyone-else-has-it/813871/27 "2018-05-10T15:45:42Z")
Funny - this actually happened to me! In kindergarten the teacher would bring cupcakes for everyone whenever it was someone’s birthday. She didn’t like me because I was very Jesus-y and would always sing Sunday school songs. When it was my birthday she didn’t bring cupcakes and everyone noticed because we always knew when it was going to be somebody’s birthday the next day. No cupcakes for me and not even singing Happy Birthday - she just acted like it wasn’t my birthday at all. I was very sad and a little embarrassed and I remember being consoled by my little classmates. I think I did deserve it because I was a member of her class and I feel that I had the right to be treated like everyone else. Mrs Pike, you were a bitch. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/deserving-something-because-everyone-else-has-it/813871.md?page=1)