# Design a better human **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 18, 2013, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576 "2013-10-18T14:17:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/1 "2013-10-18T14:17:08Z")
The Intelligent Design school of thought argues that life is so complex it must have been designed by some intelligent entity. However, whoever designed my knees didn’t do such a hot job. Could humans be designed to be impervious to cancer? Seems that there’s an opportunity to do a little better with teeth. Shouldn’t food and air have their own separate portals? And I’ve always wondered why the respiratory system is basically a bellows, rather than a though-street like the digestive system. If you were the entity that designed the human, what would you improve? ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/2 "2013-10-18T14:24:31Z")
We have self-closing eyes. Why not self-closing ears? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/3 "2013-10-18T14:24:32Z")
A long time ago, in a book by Isaac Asimov, he pondered this question. What he came up with as the number one change was involving pregnancy, fertility, and monthly cycles. If women could actively choose whether or not to become pregnant and if monthly hormonal cycles could be lessened or eliminated, then that would open a whole lot of possibilities for half of the Human population. Note: not my idea, it was Asimov. Praise or complain to him. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/4 "2013-10-18T14:34:47Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > If women could actively choose whether or not to become pregnant and if monthly hormonal cycles could be lessened or eliminated, then that would open a whole lot of possibilities for half of the Human population. Interesting idea. I wonder if we could invent a pill for that. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/5 "2013-10-18T14:38:51Z")
Regenerating parts. Grow back that arm, leg, whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/6 "2013-10-18T14:49:03Z")
And let’s talk about backs. How screwed up is it that so many of us have chronic back issues, most stemming from the fact that this upright walking is a real johnny-come-lately idea that was quickly put together with rubber bands and off-brand duct tape. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/7 "2013-10-18T14:53:10Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Interesting idea. I wonder if we could invent a pill for that. The Pill is not a perfect solution, nor is it available or useable on all women. Other Birth Control methods are not universal, either. All points Asimov addressed. As I said, talk to _him._ ETA: I am having a hard time finding which of his 400+ books that article was in, maybe another Doper remembers. Also, I seem to recall that Asimov was a ZPG guy. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/8 "2013-10-18T14:57:31Z")
Gonads not hanging outside. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/9 "2013-10-18T14:59:39Z")
On a personal note, I would like all the improvements that Time Lords got. Including the scarf! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/10 "2013-10-18T15:01:45Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Interesting idea. I wonder if we could invent a pill for that. Also, thanks for your selective quote making it look like it was my idea. I opened and closed saying it was Asimov. 😃 I want two hearts, sealable respiratory passages, The Gift, and unlimited regenerations. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/11 "2013-10-18T15:08:03Z")
How about an optical system like that of the mantis shrimp, which possesses [sixteen different color receptors?](http://theoatmeal.com/comics/mantis_shrimp) Maybe a spinal cord that runs along the _ventral_ side of the spine, where it would be better protected from debilitating injury. A blunt-force trauma could still fracture your vertebrae, but then it would have to completely sever it in order to reach your spinal cord. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/12 "2013-10-18T16:36:54Z")
Artist Boris Artzybasheff [treated this subject](http://www.americanartarchives.com/artzybasheff_exist_models_all.jpg) many years ago. I think this was published in Life Magazine in the early(?) 1960’s or so. (Good luck trying to read all the fine print in this image. Maybe somebody can find a larger image somewhere?) (The third arm in the female’s back is for zipping/buttoning up blouses with the zipper/buttons in the back.) (ETA: And the notches in the male’s legs are for holding the socks up.) ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/13 "2013-10-18T16:41:06Z")
You know when you see your dog laying in the corner of the room licking himself? Well… ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/14 "2013-10-18T16:45:18Z")
I approve of many of the ideas suggested in the above posts! And this: The design should be much more modular, which it currently isn’t at all. If you try to manipulate any body system (e.g., with hormones or any other kind of medication), you run into problems because all the systems are so intricately interconnected, you can’t adjust any system without bolluxing up a bunch of other systems. (Trying to do anything with thyroid hormones is probably the worst case!) In the software business, this is called “tight coupling” of modules, and is considered a baddddddd thing. Internal modules should be more accessible too, and parts should be more easily interchangeable. (I think the Artzybasheff cartoon, linked above, includes some access portals.) ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/15 "2013-10-18T16:47:22Z")
Sexual organs should not be the same ones used for excrement. Regenerating anything should be a must. Oh, and reduced pain sensitivity. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/16 "2013-10-18T16:53:46Z")
Here’s one I’ve had kicking around the back of my head for a while. We are all so used to the idea of equating physical fitness with things like hard work, diet, exercising, self-control, and other more or less moral concepts that we don’t really stop to think that the whole problem is shitty design. There is no _intrinsic_ reason why we couldn’t live entirely on junk food and do nothing but laze around the house all day, and still have ripped abs, size zero everything, and all the other things that we all want. I understand why the body works like that, but it’s mostly just remnants of evolution that we don’t need any more. Our bodies are constantly working to save energy - mustn’t develop muscles we don’t use, must sock away extra calories in the fat stores - so we have to constantly work like crazy to trick it in order to sculpt it into what we want. But in theory, there’s no reason that we could pick the idea physical shape and set that as our default, so our bodies naturally revert to that on their own. As you may have noticed, shortage of calories is no longer an overwhelming problem we need to stay adapted to. Hmmm. Maybe I just found my postdoc project… ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/17 "2013-10-18T17:15:17Z")
During cold and flu season, having a leaky nose situated right above the mouth is not a good idea. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/18 "2013-10-18T17:17:34Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Gonads not hanging outside. That can be kinda fun though. If we’re going to put them inside, let’s retain all the erogenous capacity on the outside. A complete program of redesign for sinuses is required (including whether they are needed at all) ---
**Author:** ![JWT\_Kottekoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3ec8ea/32.png) [@JWT\_Kottekoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JWT_Kottekoe)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/19 "2013-10-18T17:19:54Z")
Spring cleanup/restoration so our bodies stop aging after age 21. ---
**Author:** ![Shark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Shark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2013, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576/20 "2013-10-18T17:20:31Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Sexual organs should not be the same ones used for excrement. > > Regenerating anything should be a must. > > Oh, and reduced pain sensitivity. Who put a playground next to a sewage treatment plant? I say move the playground and expand it while you’re at it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-a-better-human/671576.md?page=2)