# Design "Straight Dope World," a new theme park **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 5, 2013, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716 "2013-07-05T13:53:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/101 "2013-07-08T12:36:19Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > A really great Roller Coaster called “The Big Whoosh”. > [@Jragon](#): > > That doesn’t sound like a very good name for a roller coaster. And I thought this thread was supposed to be for jokes about the board/message boards in general. “The Big Whoosh” is a joke based on the board’s tendencies to label a misunderstanding of a previous post “a whoosh”. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/102 "2013-07-08T12:55:11Z")
There should be a hot dog stand where all of the hot dogs are way overcooked. It would be called “I Burning You Dog”. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/103 "2013-07-08T19:32:53Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > There should be a hot dog stand where all of the hot dogs are way overcooked. It would be called “I Burning You Dog”. And there shall be no ketchup at this hot dog stand. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/104 "2013-07-09T00:04:08Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > “The Big Whoosh” is a joke based on the board’s tendencies to label a misunderstanding of a previous post “a whoosh”. And that’s the joke! ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/105 "2013-07-09T00:32:32Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > That doesn’t sound like a very good name for a roller coaster. And I thought this thread was supposed to be for jokes about the board/message boards in general. You mean these suggestions aren’t serious? Well, crap. \*\ \ \ \* ---
**Author:** ![N9IWP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/n9iwp/32/3154_2.png) [@N9IWP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N9IWP)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/106 "2013-07-09T02:46:48Z")
An echo chamber containing ducks The entrance fee would be $0.999… or $1 - your choice There has to be something Tolkien - famous authors rewriting contest? Obscure Valaquenta bar trivia? Something Haunted Blimp ride Brian ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/107 "2013-07-09T03:49:38Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > And that’s the joke! (More specifically, the joke was that a joke about whoosing whooshed me. Which then whooshed you. Whooshception) ---
**Author:** ![B.Serum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/b.serum/32/14266_2.png) [@B.Serum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Serum)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/108 "2013-07-09T06:40:42Z")
Nobody’s mentioned “Cow-orker Tipping”? ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/109 "2013-07-09T07:17:40Z")
There would be a boat ride. “Rio” by Duran Duran would play throughout. Incessantly. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/110 "2013-07-09T15:42:07Z")
> [@BlakeTyner](#): > > You can ask for whatever you want at the food stands, but the clerks will simply ignore you, tell you that Straight Dope World is a _vegan_ theme park, and serve you accordingly. The compromise is that buckeye cookies are available, for free. And human chow. The concession stands will serve generic human chow. You can eat it every meal for the rest of your life, and be happy. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/111 "2013-07-09T15:47:43Z")
Come to the arcade and play your fill of Whac-A-Troll. ---
**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/112 "2013-07-09T16:03:47Z")
The “Can you fart through your dick?” game booth, in memory of my favorite GQ title ever. “The house of a thousand beeps!” where you win a prize if you can locate the source of a very faint beeping sound. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/113 "2013-07-09T18:22:01Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham;16443923–The Hal Briston Petting Zoo[/QUOTE] That would be the _Hal Briston Heavy Petting (or more) Zoo_, right? Anyway, I’m in line for the Groundhog Shooting Gallery… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/114 "2013-07-09T18:35:34Z")
> [@Quercus](#): > > That would be the _Hal Briston Heavy Petting (or more) Zoo_, right? > > Anyway, I’m in line for the Groundhog Shooting Gallery… Why would anyone want to pet **Hal Briston**? ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/115 "2013-07-09T19:45:22Z")
For the kids, the **Grapist** coloring gallery. In the very center of the Park, there is the magnificent **Ask Cecil** pavilion. Be sure to bow before entering, and never ask who is behind the curtain. And then there is the often closed Portrait Gallery, right next to the “How you doing?” dating bar. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/116 "2013-07-09T20:18:03Z")
Over in the carnival area is a dunk tank in the shape of a Sousaphone. Hit the sweet spot with a baseball, and…splash! TubaDiva! I see a sign that says, “Modwalk.” The font used is Bodoni. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/117 "2013-07-09T21:47:48Z")
Special discounts on Mondays for a certain group of Dopers. Bonus points if you end up sitting next to them and can understand anything they say. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/118 "2013-07-09T22:10:12Z")
I can’t wait to see the extensive map legend so I can understand what all these attractions are about. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/119 "2013-07-09T22:47:50Z")
Every hour, on the hour, we launch a goat into orbit via a cannon. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/120 "2013-07-09T23:18:28Z")
I’m still working on it, but I guarantee “The Pit” will be the scariest fun house ride ever. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716.md?page=7)