# Design "Straight Dope World," a new theme park **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 5, 2013, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716 "2013-07-05T13:53:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/121 "2013-07-09T23:54:27Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > –The Hal Briston Petting Zoo Of course, we can borrow from Epcot and have a Russian section of the park where things are reversed. In the Russian petting zoo, horses ride YOU! ---
**Author:** ![sangfroid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@sangfroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sangfroid)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/122 "2013-07-10T01:59:21Z")
Trying in vain to come up with an attraction about circumcision - I got nuthin’… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/123 "2013-07-10T09:26:04Z")
> [@sangfroid](#): > > Trying in vain to come up with an attraction about circumcision - > > I got nuthin’… Whack-A-Mole? With great big hammers? ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/124 "2013-07-10T15:32:01Z")
Will there be hamster rides? ---
**Author:** ![aurora\_maire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aurora_maire/32/328_2.png) [@aurora\_maire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurora_maire)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/125 "2013-07-10T16:27:34Z")
There has to be a “pics or it didn’t happen” photo booth. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/126 "2013-07-10T16:52:20Z")
Miranda: _Oh, Straight Dope World That hath such people in it!_ ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/127 "2013-07-10T17:03:33Z")
> [@squeegee](#): > > Will there be hamster rides? If someone will pay their fares, of course the hamsters can go on rides. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/128 "2013-07-10T19:55:16Z")
One big negative about the park - every couple of weeks, you randomly won’t be able to get in during normal hours. And perhaps a Winter of Our Lost Content skating rink? ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/129 "2013-07-11T06:09:28Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Every hour, on the hour, we launch a goat into orbit via a cannon. Every _other_ hour. Alternating with the squid. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/130 "2013-07-11T06:13:59Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > And perhaps a Winter of Our Lost Content skating rink? Only problem-no ice. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/131 "2013-07-11T09:45:01Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > And human chow. The concession stands will serve generic human chow. You can eat it every meal for the rest of your life, and be happy. Don’t forget the alternative menu - Food Pills, because all that eating is taking valuable time out of your hectic, productive life and therefore, by extension, promoting Communism. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/132 "2013-07-11T12:14:21Z")
When you get bored with the SDMB Theme Park (“Fighting Ig World”), you can truck on over to our [beach party.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=695901) Volleyball, anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/133 "2013-07-11T13:44:02Z")
There will be an exhibit called “About This Theme Park”. It will be interactive - ask a question, up pops a circle of wagons and a stone wall. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Kiber](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kiber/32/317_2.png) [@Kiber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiber)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/134 "2013-07-11T14:28:07Z")
It’ll need a Political Arena - with a left and right wing, of course. Pick a side and spend the ride intentionally misrepresenting what riders on the other side said. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/135 "2013-07-11T14:50:15Z")
There are much shorter lines on the right-wing side. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/136 "2013-07-11T18:48:42Z")
Which is unfortunate, because the right-wing side is crazy, disorienting, barf-inducing, the way a theme park ride is supposed to be. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/137 "2013-07-11T19:27:55Z")
> [@For You](#): > > Which is unfortunate, because the right-wing side is crazy, disorienting, barf-inducing, the way a theme park ride is supposed to be. Well, that’s true enough. But it’s also a terribly narrow section of the park. I’m not sure we could comfortably fit too many more visitors over there in any case. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/138 "2013-07-11T19:40:27Z")
If it gets a little warm you walk on over to “Cafe Land” and step into the air conditioned theater playing **The Great Ongoing Guitar Show**. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/139 "2013-07-11T20:41:43Z")
**Hall of Cysts** , a slow tram ride through interactive dioramas celebrating nature’s endless wonder of sebaceous infections. Bring your poncho. **The Rare Films Theater** , featuring the alternative-ending _Big_, Luke Skywalker watching the space battle through his binoculars, and Eye-gor’s missing hump. And every Thursday in the park, sexy quadrapalegics ride free! ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/140 "2013-07-11T21:18:17Z")
> [@GargoyleWB](#): > > **The Rare Films Theater** , featuring the alternative-ending _Big_, Luke Skywalker watching the space battle through his binoculars, and Eye-gor’s missing hump. What hump? – EE-gor [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716.md?page=8)