# Design "Straight Dope World," a new theme park **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 5, 2013, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716 "2013-07-05T13:53:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/141 "2013-07-11T22:09:29Z")
> [@For You](#): > > Every _other_ hour. Alternating with the squid. No. Goats only. Tradition. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/142 "2013-07-11T23:38:53Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > There will be video rooms that show Mad Men, Downton Abbey, Homeland, Breaking Bad, True Blood, Leverage, The Sopranos, and other favorites on a searchable, endless loop, so you can either watch whatever’s on or navigate to your favorite episode/moment. There will be two rooms for watching **Game of Thrones**. If you talk about anything from the books in the wrong room they will chop off your head. For realsies. And you will deserve it. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/143 "2013-07-12T16:32:26Z")
The longest-running exhibit will of course be “The Pigeon Breeding Experience.” ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/144 "2013-07-12T17:51:37Z")
Brave the exciting **Homeopath Ultimate Ironman Challenge!**. Risk certain death, or gain superior health and longevity (we’re not sure which) when swimming in the amazing HUIC pool. Straight Dope engineers have produced the largest single swimming pool of deadly, or resuscitative (we’re not sure which) chemicals, biological nasties, radioactive poisons, and vitamins in immeasurable concentration and efficacy! Cholera, radium, feces, smallpox, plutonium, mercury, it’s all there undetectably saturating the very water molecules they’ve been filtered from. Every! Single! Molecule! Don’t be fooled by the pool filter that looks like an old Harley Davidson bandana tied over the garden hose, rest assured the most cutting edge homeopathic science is at work out of view to produce this deadly (healthy!) terrifying (envigorating!) curative miracle (certain death!). Lifeguards are on duty to assist those trapped swimming aimlessly in circular reasoning out of the pool. A sugar pill stamped with an impressive obscure number/letter/hash (we take science with the utmost seriousness, and so should you) will speed you on to your recovery and enjoyment of more Straight Dope Theme Park rides. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/145 "2013-07-12T22:15:04Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Why would anyone want to pet **Hal Briston**? Don’t knock it 'til you’ve tried it. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/146 "2013-07-12T22:23:10Z")
> [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > Don’t knock it 'til you’ve tried it. Sorry, not part of the fanbase that flocks to you. ---
**Author:** ![toofs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/147 "2013-07-13T01:39:57Z")
A slow ride through an unlit, large open room. Somewhere there is a blimp, lurking silently, waiting. In the dark. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/148 "2013-07-13T02:40:03Z")
I wonder how many people will remember these… Guests will drive up a parkway until they arrive at the parking area that is a driveway. In the park, middle school, junior high, and high school students will come up to guests and ask them to do their homework for them. People with long unwashed hair wearing ripped jeans and loose tee-shirts with heavy metal band logos on them will approach guests and ask if they know where they can get some marijuana. To enter some rides, you’ll have to correctly answer 3 questions. Unless you properly taunt him. There will be soap boxes placed around the park where people can stand and shout about religion, diets, or politics at people who aren’t interested. There will be a theatre where “Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail” and “Airplane” will be shown endlessly. The sound will be turned off. Guests will have to say the lines as the characters mouth them from memory. Between the replays, there will be a 20 minute film showing all the disasters that were expected to occur when Dec 31, 2000 became Jan 1, 2001. Or a lecture and demonstration about the coconut carrying capacity of various birds flying at different air speed velocities. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/149 "2013-07-13T11:42:49Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > To enter some rides, you’ll have to correctly answer 3 questions. Unless you properly taunt him. Would that be the Happy Fun Ball Ride? ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/150 "2013-07-13T14:57:15Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Would that be the Happy Fun Ball Ride? No. **Never** taunt happy fun ball, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries. 😛 So, you think I’ll get a **MOD NOTE** or **WARNING** for that? ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/151 "2013-07-13T21:23:54Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > So, you think I’ll get a **MOD NOTE** or **WARNING** for that? Just ask, “African or European? Laden or unladen?” You will make it through just fine. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2013, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/152 "2013-07-13T22:07:39Z")
Would there be an ORT exhibit, where visitors attempt to **O** ut-[**R** on](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=495672) **T** his? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2013, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/153 "2013-07-14T13:29:09Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > People with long unwashed hair wearing ripped jeans and loose tee-shirts with heavy metal band logos on them will approach guests and ask if they know where they can get some marijuana. The park will be built on the border of Colorado, and you’re allowed to smoke on the Colorado side, but if anyone even sees you smoke or talk about smoking on the non-Colorado side, you’re immediately kicked out. ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/154 "2013-07-15T04:00:26Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > To enter some rides, you’ll have to correctly answer 3 questions. Unless you properly taunt him. Or as an alternative, give him three words that end in “gry.” ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/155 "2013-07-15T16:28:03Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > We need a train wreck ride. It’s a roller coaster that goes off the rails after the first few loops and ends in a flaming pit. You might want to think twice about getting on it, but watching is always good fun. There’ll be chairs to pull up and popcorn. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/156 "2013-07-15T16:29:55Z")
> [@snowthx](#): > > And there shall be no ketchup at this hot dog stand. The next stall along will be grilling the kosher parts of Mr. Tumnus. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716/157 "2013-07-15T18:47:02Z")
> [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](#): > > The next stall along will be grilling the kosher parts of Mr. Tumnus. Served with buttered toast and a lightly boiled egg for each guest. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/design-straight-dope-world-a-new-theme-park/662716.md?page=7)