# Designated Hitler
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 12, 2003, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137 "2003-09-12T04:35:45Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@MetalDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MetalDog)
#### Post date: [September 12, 2003, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/1 "2003-09-12T04:35:45Z")
Maybe it’s the glasses, but by brain seems keen to amuse me by replacing words with near matches on first glance. I saw the ‘Designated Hitter’ piece as ‘Designated Hitler’ and instantly got a vision of people arguing over who got to be the Hitler for the day.
“Aaawww man, but you got to be the Hitler last time!”
My favourite was walking past a poster in London and cracking up because for an instant it read ‘Dove’s new masturbating creme’ - ‘moisturising creme’ was much less insteresting. Yes, I did get a lot of funny looks.
I figured I can’t be alone in this, so what’s your best misreading - or mishearing if you’re more prone to those?
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### Author:  [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)
#### Post date: [September 12, 2003, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/2 "2003-09-12T05:49:53Z")
Just had one tonight. Some class action lawsuit ad on the TV and I thought the words said, “If you’ve been treated for assholes…”…well, it was asbestos.
Come to think of it, I didn’t do that before my glasses. But they’re Armani, so I can see AND they make me snobbier…
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [September 12, 2003, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/3 "2003-09-12T06:53:50Z")
I do this a lot. The funniest was when I passed a hardware store and somehow misread “light bulbs” on the reader board as “yul brynner.” 😕
“Designated Hitler” would be a _great_ name for a punk band.
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [September 12, 2003, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/4 "2003-09-12T07:00:53Z")
I do this on this board CONSTANTLY. Especially late at night.
Anybody know who Bob Shepperd is? Picture him saying this:
“Now batting… the designated hitter… number 32, Adolf… Hitler. Number 32.”
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### Author:  [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)
#### Post date: [September 12, 2003, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/5 "2003-09-12T10:09:16Z")
WHen I was a kid, I was driving out of state with my mother, down South, and we whizzed past a restaurant that we didn’t have yet in New York City, a Kentucky Fried Chicken, whose slogan I misread as “It’s Fucking Good!”
I cracked up completely but couldn’t bring myself to tell my mother what it was I found so rip-roaring funny (see the “Did you ever get your mouth washed out with soap?” thread.)
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### Author:  [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)
#### Post date: [September 12, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/6 "2003-09-12T18:58:15Z")
I kept thinking the McDonalds bus ads for the “Big N Tasty” said “Big Nasty.” I mentioned it to my husband and he cracked up and said “Me too!”
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### Author:  [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)
#### Post date: [September 12, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/7 "2003-09-12T20:01:38Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Marley23 \*
> \*\*I do this on this board CONSTANTLY. Especially late at night.
>
> Anybody know who Bob Shepperd is? Picture him saying this:
>
> “Now batting… the designated hitter… number 32, Adolf… Hitler. Number 32.” \*\*
I haven’t been to Yankee Stadium in a few years. Is he still alive?
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### Author:  [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)
#### Post date: [September 12, 2003, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/8 "2003-09-12T20:05:41Z")
Yep, Bob Sheppard’s still there.
You realize, of course, that they only use the Designated Hitler in the National Socialist League…
Zev Steinhardt
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### Author:  [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)
#### Post date: [September 12, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/9 "2003-09-12T20:11:43Z")
My dad came _home_ from the gracery store bemoaning the moral decline of America… seems they had the gall to sell something called “Soft Bitch” cookies… I wonder if they were in the same area as “Soft B_a_tch” cookies?
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### Author:  [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)
#### Post date: [September 12, 2003, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/10 "2003-09-12T20:30:06Z")
Mrs. Bernse and I were looking for some curtains (or was it a table cloth?) at Sears last year. We both saw, what we were sure was “White Trash” as a color choice.
Our double-take actually confirmed it to be “White Thatch.”
Yeah, happens to me all the time.
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### Author:  [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)
#### Post date: [September 12, 2003, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/11 "2003-09-12T21:23:41Z")
When you play baseball alone, you play baseball with Hitler!
**JOIN A BASEBALL TEAM TODAY!**
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### Author:  [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/12 "2003-09-13T00:38:23Z")
When I was in England, I would always do a double take whenever I saw the **fcuk** store. Are they allowed to have such a name? Crazy Brits!
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### Author:  [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/13 "2003-09-13T00:45:20Z")
I used to work at a restaurant that used “Golden Crisp” oil in the fryers. For some reason, I misread it as “Golden Christ.”
We were cooking with the Lord…
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### Author:  [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2003, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/14 "2003-09-13T01:27:59Z")
This isn’t a visual thing, but tonight the boi mentioned his “genitalia” (you figure out the context) and I heard it as “gentleman tailor.”
Don’t ask me how that works. At least my going deaf is useful for amusement value.
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### Author:  [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2003, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/15 "2003-09-13T03:52:09Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by voguevixen \*
> \*\*I kept thinking the McDonalds bus ads for the “Big N Tasty” said “Big Nasty.” I mentioned it to my husband and he cracked up and said “Me too!” \*\*
As did I, and my parents, and my brother.
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/16 "2003-09-13T04:00:29Z")
Fortunately, Bob Sheppard is still going. A year or two ago, he celebrated 50 years as the Yankees’ P.A. announcer. When they called him to the mic at the ceremony, I was amazed to hear that he actually talks like that. Whenever I imitate a public address guy, I try to sound like him. Nobody ever gets it, of course. 😉
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### Author:  [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2003, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/17 "2003-09-13T04:08:11Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Marley23 \*
> \*\*Fortunately, Bob Sheppard is still going. A year or two ago, he celebrated 50 years as the Yankees’ P.A. announcer. When they called him to the mic at the ceremony, I was amazed to hear that he actually talks like that. Whenever I imitate a public address guy, I try to sound like him. Nobody ever gets it, of course. 😉 \*\*
As a Red Sox fan, I can’t stand the Yankees, but Bob Sheppard is truly one of the great and most recognizable voices of baseball. I gotta get back there early next season while I can still enjoy him.
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### Author:  [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2003, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/18 "2003-09-13T04:24:25Z")
“Now batting for A. Hitler, Sir Oswald Mosley, the British Bulldog”
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### Author:  [@The\_Stranger\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stranger_1)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2003, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/19 "2003-09-13T05:25:34Z")
Seen on a sign while driving in Texas:
**"Mom! Have your child’s picture taken with Satan!"**
Creeped me out so bad I turned around, drove back by, and discovered they had mysteriously changed it to read: “Mom! Have your child’s picture taken with Santa!”
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### Author:  [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2003, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/designated-hitler/201137/20 "2003-09-13T06:25:39Z")
Ah, I love hearing how others’ minds twist things on them. Nice to know I’m not alone in this.
My all time favourite was a sign on a restroom door at a place I used to work. Since I wasn’t paying attention, what I thought I read was
Check your personalities before leaving
Naturally, I had to go back and see if I’d really seen that. Turns out the sign actually said
Check your personal items before leaving
I liked the first one better.
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