Designing a Labyrinth of Doom

[Mr.Excellent]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

If any of your staff presents you with a plan that involves capturing the hero and keeping him alive in a labyrinth, kill them.

If you work for an villain who orders you to put such a plan into effect, kill him.

Wouldn’t the appropriate course in either of these cases be to build the labyrinth, and then imprison your staffer or villain in it? I mean, if you can’t enjoy the crueler ironies in life, what’s the point in being a supervillain at all?

[AmunRa]

@Sanity_Challenged

You’re going to need one goblin that always lies, one goblin that always tells the truth, and one goblin that lies or tells the truth completely at random. Figuring out which is which in the job interview is pretty tricky.

I guess maybe this violates the OP’s request to not actively murder people.

[EvilTOJ]

@Mr.Excellent

Wouldn’t the appropriate course in either of these cases be to build the labyrinth, and then imprison your staffer or villain in it? I mean, if you can’t enjoy the crueler ironies in life, what’s the point in being a supervillain at all?

It’s not imprisoning, it’s stress testing. Gotta make sure the labyrinth works, don’t you?

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@Mr.Excellent

Wouldn’t the appropriate course in either of these cases be to build the labyrinth, and then imprison your staffer or villain in it? I mean, if you can’t enjoy the crueler ironies in life, what’s the point in being a supervillain at all?

Labyrinths cost money. Lots of money. They are of demonstrably little utility. Don’t waste your resources.

I mean, iridium-tipped, napalm-loaded arrows sound cool too, but when your enemies are coming after you with tanks, you’re a fool to send archers.

[Chronos]

Aren’t the arrows kind of necessary after you turn on your reaction suppressant device that prevents gunpowder and gasoline from exploding, though?

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@Chronos

Aren’t the arrows kind of necessary after you turn on your reaction suppressant device that prevents gunpowder and gasoline from exploding, though?

I know accountants get a bad rap sometimes, but, seriously, you have to listen to them. If the RSDtPG&GfE costs fifty times as much as other anti-tank weaponry, but is only 10% more effective at actually stopping the tanks, why are you spending money on it?

[Snowboarder_Bo]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

There was a third place but I forgot what it was. Must not have been very important.

Opal is too important, foul fiend!

[Chronos]

Double-check those range figures, Skald. A good reaction suppressor can work on planetary scales. Which has the nice side effect of wreaking chaos in the places you’re not yet actively attacking, too.

[YogSothoth]

Tiring them out would be easy with the right setup. Don’t think of your maze as something one has to walk or crawl through, that’s too easy. Build your maze on the ceiling and the walls and have small hand holds and grips that require the hero to reach from one to the other, straining him and tiring him out. You don’t even need to make it that big. How many people could really handle climbing the sheer side of a wall with grips 3 feet apart? Then after they reach the ceiling, they have to swing themselves and grab at the next grip. Make it so that the grips are big enough only for 1 hand, so they have to keep swinging to reach the next one. After about 50 of these anyone’s bound to fall off

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@Chronos

Double-check those range figures, Skald. A good reaction suppressor can work on planetary scales. Which has the nice side effect of wreaking chaos in the places you’re not yet actively attacking, too.

Which increases the odds of everybody ganging up on you before you’re ready for it. Also stuff you were planning on stealing eventually may get broken.

The wise super-villain unveils his plans slowly.