# Desire against your sexual orientation (poll) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 12, 2004, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535 "2004-08-12T14:40:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/1 "2004-08-12T14:40:45Z")
Ok here’s the question. Do you ever find yourself desiring someone against your normal sexual orientation? BE HONEST, please. I’ll start. I am a straight female. I’ve always been attracted to guys. However… I find the ‘ideal’ of the female form to be very sexy. In my whole life there has been one woman who I’d have considered experimenting with even though I wasn’t attracted to her physically. She was my best friend in high school and I loved her so damn much I would have done anything for her. There was one girl who I was actually sexually attracted to. She was my boss, and engaged, so it was pretty much out of the question. She was cute and dainty and very sweet - I have never been cute or dainty (but I am sweet). But I am still predominantly attracted to guys! This makes me think that there is something to the theory that everyone has some gay tendencies in them. Am I right? Or do I stand all alone? Come on, folks. 'Fess up your deepest darkest fantasies here. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/2 "2004-08-12T14:55:58Z")
[From a month or so ago.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=263765) My answer stands: Nope. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/3 "2004-08-12T15:06:21Z")
Well we are getting into the socially acceptable realm of ‘have you ever found someone of your sex attractive, yet you are hterosexual?’ I’m a married man who is absolutely fine with my sexuality as a heterosexual, monogamous man. I find there are men out there who fit the criteria for being handsome. Now do I want to kiss them, or otherwise fondle their manhood? No. I find that not appealing in the least. My wife knows and comments on other females who are attractive…does that mean she wants to experiment with her holiest of holy’s? No not in the least. So the answer to your question for me is no, I never desire being with another man…but that does not mean I cannot find the attractiveness of another man. I’m simply not attracted. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/4 "2004-08-12T15:06:56Z")
No, I can honestly say that I never have and probably never will. I can’t even tell what guys are attractive to other people. Sure, I can tell what guys are butt ugly, out of shape and so forth but after that, I am confused. My brain just doesn’t work that way. There are a few other problems. The mechanics of male homosexual sex really, really doesn’t appeal to me. That is great if you are into that but it’s just not doing it for me. Second, I view most guys as competition in some way. I cannot see surrending myself to one as a love partner. Third, I had only a couple of male friends in my life and none now. I don’t like to be around the vast majority of males and sure as hell don’t want to sleep with them. ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/5 "2004-08-12T15:56:13Z")
No. Not in the slightest. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/6 "2004-08-12T16:33:12Z")
I have always been attracted to both, so I guess I can’t really go “against” my sexual orientation. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/7 "2004-08-12T16:38:43Z")
I’m bisexual so currently, no… that’d be a bit hard. In the past though: yes, obviously. I only started noticing men about five years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/8 "2004-08-12T21:04:41Z")
I’m hetero, and I can honestly say I’ve never had even the slightest sexual attraction to any male I’ve seen. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/9 "2004-08-12T22:43:52Z")
I’ve had sexual thoughts about women from time to time, but never enough to bestir myself into doing anything about it (or to identify as bisexual). I’m probably about a Kinsey 5.8. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/10 "2004-08-12T23:14:39Z")
Not really. I can definitely tell when a woman is _attractive_, and have mistaken that for my being _attracted_, but when it gets down to it: “The boobies! They do NOTHING!” (This has apparently has caused some confusion among my straight male friends. Apparently I’m “constantly” pointing out hot women, and they ask, “Are you trying to tell us something, here?” And I have to respond, “I’m just saying she’s hot, is all. I think that that guy, that guy, and that guy are hot, too, but the stuff I’m thinking about them, I can’t say out loud.”) ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/11 "2004-08-13T01:05:35Z")
> [@SolGrundy](#): > > Not really. I can definitely tell when a woman is _attractive_, and have mistaken that for my being _attracted_, but when it gets down to it: “The boobies! They do NOTHING!” This is the funniest thing I’ve seen all day. As I am bisexual, however, I’d have to say that I don’t experience desire against my orientation. ---
**Author:** ![PussyCow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/22d042/32.png) [@PussyCow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PussyCow)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/12 "2004-08-13T01:16:44Z")
Well, I can sure tell when I think a woman is attractive, and I can even say what type of chickie would be _my_ type (if I were gay). However, whenever I’ve thought seriously about what it would be like to sexually fondle a woman’s breasts and kissing her and all the other fun stuff, it does nothing for me; mostly just makes me feel uncomfortable. So, I guess the answer is no. I’m straight as a pin, and don’t think I’ll ever be otherwise. Although sometimes it seems like it would make my life a whole lot easier if I didn’t have to deal with men and their dangly parts. ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/13 "2004-08-13T01:46:15Z")
**Never.** ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/14 "2004-08-13T05:52:18Z")
I can be attracted to other girls but usually in a “I’d like to look like her” way. Most of the time, scrawny girls turn me way off - especially when I see celebs on tv with naked shoulders. It kind of grosses me out! But let the record show I would do it with a girl if it turned on the guy I was with, and he got in there with us 🙂 Cuz I luuuurve men! ---
**Author:** ![Pablito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@Pablito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pablito)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/15 "2004-08-13T14:41:25Z")
hetero guy here– I’ve never seen a guy that I find attractive and the idea of kissing or hugging or even holding hands with a guy gives me the willies. However, I do think that male genitals are sexy and I can be quite aroused by the idea of or actuality of playing with a guy’s equipment. ---
**Author:** ![jfortun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2acd7d/32.png) [@jfortun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jfortun)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/16 "2004-08-13T15:10:27Z")
As a straight guy I happen to find Matt Damon sexually attractive. I’m not sure why as he is kind of annoying and some people think he is less than good looking. I’m not sure what it is. He just has that effect on me. I enjoy seeing a well made male body but I have always thought of it as more a matter of aesthetic appreciation than anything sexual. Of course when I told all this to my wife she was horrified. Not so much that I might find another man sexually attractive- but that it was Matt Damon! ---
**Author:** ![PussyCow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/22d042/32.png) [@PussyCow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PussyCow)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/17 "2004-08-13T15:33:29Z")
> [@jfortun](#): > > As a straight guy I happen to find Matt Damon sexually attractive. I’m not sure why as he is kind of annoying and some people think he is less than good looking. I’m not sure what it is. He just has that effect on me. > > I enjoy seeing a well made male body but I have always thought of it as more a matter of aesthetic appreciation than anything sexual. > > Of course when I told all this to my wife she was horrified. Not so much that I might find another man sexually attractive- but that it was Matt Damon! Nah, Matt Damon does have a certain sex appeal. Sure his nose is funny looking, and maybe he’s a little beady-eyed, but there is something in his “aura”. But this is coming from someone is thinks David Bowie is the sexiest man alive. Grrrrrr ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/18 "2004-08-13T15:41:08Z")
I’m a bit curious- maybe someday I will experiment a bit, maybe I won’t. I’ll just see how it goes. I am still way, way attracted to guys, though. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/19 "2004-08-13T16:07:34Z")
My taste may normally run to men, but there’s something about Keira Knightley that just _does_ it for me. I don’t know that I’d wanna have straight-people sex with her or anyone, but damn, she’s just so hot. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535/20 "2004-08-13T16:13:34Z")
Once in a while. I’m a straight guy, but a couple of times in my life I’ve known men who, if the circumstances had been right, I might have gone to bed with. It never happened, but I don’t think I would have turned them down. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desire-against-your-sexual-orientation-poll/259535.md?page=2)