# Desperate Housewives 5/14 **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 14, 2006, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756 "2006-05-14T21:25:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2006, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/1 "2006-05-14T21:25:27Z")
There should be some big blow-ups, meltdowns and crises coming to a head tonight, especially re: Bree and her brood, & Susan and Edie. See you in a while. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/2 "2006-05-15T03:05:17Z")
Trust Bree to have the neatest, most anal-retentive mental breakdown ever. 😉 She wound up with two of the most selfish kids on earth, though … yeesh. I think they did a good job with her reaction to dumping Andrew. I had a lot of sympathy for her this week. I’m surprised that Lynette would just pack up the kids and leave without confronting Tom first. I know the evidence was pretty damning, but it doesn’t seem like her to do something like that. I guess Susan’s going to have to marry Carl again, because it looks like she’s finally going to get that backbone transplant. 😃 I can never remember the name of Gabby and Carlos’s maid/surrogate mother, but I hope she doesn’t turn into a conniving manipulator. I mean, she _has_ had Gabby as a role model, but I want to like that girl. And how stupid is Carlos for not realizing how Gabby would feel? (Ok, ok, it’s already been established that he’s pretty stupid. Maybe I’m surprised at how _continuous_ his stupidity is.) Martha Huber is just flat-out insane. Will they hold Paul indefinitely if they can’t find her body? ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/3 "2006-05-15T03:08:02Z")
Just a bump. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/4 "2006-05-15T03:13:01Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > I’m surprised that Lynette would just pack up the kids and leave without confronting Tom first. I know the evidence was pretty damning, but it doesn’t seem like her to do something like that. It’s exactly what she said she’d do. Tom knew that if he had an affair Lynette would leave him because she told him straight to his face. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/5 "2006-05-15T03:21:26Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > It’s exactly what she said she’d do. Tom knew that if he had an affair Lynette would leave him because she told him straight to his face. It’s not the action I’m quibbling over, it’s the timing. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/6 "2006-05-15T03:37:45Z")
Susan is a moron. When someone burns your house down you don’t confront them. You go to the police. Edie had means, motive and opportunity. She should have left the wiretapping to them instead of confronting a psychopath. Bree’s breakdown was poignant and understandable. Gabrielle is a totally honest character with her need for beauty products. I hope they don’t let Carlos have an affair with the maid/gestational surrogate. I also hope Tom isn’t really having an affair. But at least Lynette had the guts to leave him. Felicity Huffman’s reaction in the scene where she’s spying on Tom was an amazing bit of acting. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/7 "2006-05-15T12:02:16Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > It’s not the action I’m quibbling over, it’s the timing. I’m waiting for Tom to show up at Lynette’s work demanding to talk to her. It’s official…Felicia is batshit insane. I mean, storing your own blood is one thing, but cutting off not one but _two_ of your fingers! Holy Obsession, Batman! The previews went by so fast, but did Gabby say, Carlos is dead? They hinted his triglycerides were high and Gabby was denying him red meat, but is Mark Cherry killing off a husband a season here? Magnificent makeup work on Edie with the yellowjacket stings, btw. They should win an Emmy for that. I was horribly fascinated by her swollen eyelid. No Peter showing up trying to explain things to Bree, so I guess he did fall off the abstinence wagon with Andrew. Her breakdown was awful, but I would have been pissed at Barbie too for taking a swipe of icing before the candles had been blown out. I thought Danielle would drag Betty into the dungeon after she knocked her out, but it makes more sense for her to hit and get Matthew out. And Betty came to enough to maybe realize who had hit her? We’ve established that Wisteria Lane is “cross country” from Atlantic City. And it’s not in Arizona. Are we any closer to narrowing down a location? (I know it’s Anytown USA, but I like the little clues.) ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/8 "2006-05-15T13:09:31Z")
I thought we already knew that the show is set in Illinois. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/9 "2006-05-15T13:16:14Z")
I must have missed that. What evidence is there that it’s in Illinois? ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/10 "2006-05-15T14:35:52Z")
Bree is the only one I felt bad for this episode. While the way her kids turned out can be considered partially her fault, they’re also little shits. Gabby pushing away Carlos with her high maintenance crap… her fault. Susan’s whole situation… her fault. Tom… his fault. Paul… he did actually kill Martha Huber. Why didn’t Felicia cut off some less useful fingers? There was a thread about sacrificing a finger a while ago, most people agree that the pinky would be the one to go. ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/11 "2006-05-15T14:37:38Z")
Oh, and Edie got what was coming to her as well. I hope Susan turns over her evidence to the police. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/12 "2006-05-15T16:08:04Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > I must have missed that. What evidence is there that it’s in Illinois? I thought they said something about it being near Winnetka, and wasn’t there something in the ep where Gabby wants to get back into modelling that there isn’t much for her in that part of Illinois? It really doesn’t matter to me where it takes place. I’m as happy to locate it in Illinois as anywhere else, and any attempt to manufacture a “where is Wisteria Lane?” vibe a la Springfield doesn’t interest me. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/13 "2006-05-15T16:14:58Z")
My guess is Tom has a child in the other house; that’s a plausible reason for going upstairs other than to go to bed with the woman. And how does Paul Young not notice a key is missing after his archenemy has just been in the cabinet where he keeps his well-labelled keys? I know he was intent on the poison angle, but wouldn’t you examine the area closely? And where do Danielle and Matthew think they’re going? Commune with Andrew? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/14 "2006-05-15T16:37:12Z")
They’re teenagers. I doubt they’ve thought that far ahead. Matthew must be a few years older than Danielle. He seems to be college-aged. Any thought there might be a statutory rape charge in his future? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/15 "2006-05-15T20:15:34Z")
So I missed this episode and reading this thread has left me tremendously confused. Anyone want to take a second to spoiler recap the show for me? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/16 "2006-05-15T22:04:48Z")
[TWoP recaplet](http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=142&story=9318) ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/17 "2006-05-16T00:50:38Z")
Agree with the post about the make-up job on Sheridan with the stung face. Creepy! Yellowjackets, blood on the floor, chopped-off fingers, knocking someone on the head, taking the kids and dog and leaving, a meltdown at a birthday party, a catfight, spying on a hubby, and drenching a room with perfume. Now THAT’S my kinda TV show. ---
**Author:** ![phungi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phungi/32/395_2.png) [@phungi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phungi)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/18 "2006-05-16T03:51:47Z")
> [@c\_goat](#): > > Why didn’t Felicia cut off some less useful fingers? There was a thread about sacrificing a finger a while ago, most people agree that the pinky would be the one to go. [side-track]take your index finger from your right hand and grab and hold it with your left hand, but don’t use your pinky… try to pull your finger out… now try it again, but don’t use your index finger this time… not that there is a “good” finger to lose, but the pinky and ring finger provide grasping ability (neither fingerless nor a physician, btw)[/side-track] ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/19 "2006-05-16T13:10:08Z")
Did anyone notice how old the lady in Atlantic City looked? I’m pretty sure Tom isn’t cheating, and was thinking maybe she’s his daughter from an ill-fated high school/early college romance. Personally, I think Gabrielle is a complete asshole. If you want to be a completely self-centered, selfish git, fine, go for it. But don’t have a baby and keep acting that way. AFAIK, it is perfectly possible (though more difficult) to get a murder conviction without a body. An abruptly missing person, their blood/body parts in the defendant’s car or house, and means, motive, and opportunity can do it. You have to hand it to the woman, she’s dedicated. ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756/20 "2006-05-16T13:48:22Z")
> [@phungi](#): > > [side-track]take your index finger from your right hand and grab and hold it with your left hand, but don’t use your pinky… try to pull your finger out… now try it again, but don’t use your index finger this time… not that there is a “good” finger to lose, but the pinky and ring finger provide grasping ability (neither fingerless nor a physician, btw)[/side-track] Heh… and here I assumed the pinky was useless… that’s pretty cool actually. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-14/356756.md?page=2)