# Desperate Housewives: 5/22 Finale (UNBOXED SPOILERS) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 23, 2005, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046 "2005-05-23T04:31:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/21 "2005-05-23T17:40:20Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > **Cyros** , they didn’t have time to show a funeral. I’m aware of that. I was speaking to Oslo’s remark about bringing characters back from the dead in soap operas and how implausible that is. I was just pointing out we’ve seen no evidence thus far that he is actually dead. Plus, DH _is_ a soap opera. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/22 "2005-05-23T17:56:51Z")
I agree what Zach won’t shoot Mike on sight. Zach’s too much of a drama whore to do that. He wouldn’t feel right until he made sure Mike felt sorry for hurting him. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/23 "2005-05-23T17:58:03Z")
That is true. I must admit, I didn’t think they were faking Rex’s death until it was brought up here. But if Rex was faking, why would he leave her a note forgiving her for what he thinks she did? And don’t you think faking your death just to see how your wife reacts might just be a tad bit unforgiveable in and of itself? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/24 "2005-05-23T17:59:22Z")
My last post was directed to **Cyros**. {b]Liberal\*\* butted in ahead of me. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/25 "2005-05-23T18:00:56Z")
> [@Max Torque](#): > > We know for sure that it’s not Utah. For one thing, Utah has the death penalty, and for another, that’s where the treatment center that Mary Alice/Angela worked in was said to be. What’s the weather like? Did we ever see it snow? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/26 "2005-05-23T19:00:30Z")
For some reason I always thought they were in Illinois or the like. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/27 "2005-05-23T19:03:31Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > My last post was directed to **Cyros**. {b]Liberal\*\* butted in ahead of me. 😛 Damn. I thought for once that I said something right. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/28 "2005-05-23T19:06:25Z")
Well, if it makes you feel better, **Lib** , I agree with you too. Zach won’t shoot Mike on sight, he’ll make him LISTEN TO HIM BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE LIES TO HIM AND HE’S TIRED OF IT!!! ---
**Author:** ![Selkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Selkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Selkie)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/29 "2005-05-23T19:11:16Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > But if Rex was faking, why would he leave her a note forgiving her for what he thinks she did? And don’t you think faking your death just to see how your wife reacts might just be a tad bit unforgiveable in and of itself? If he and the doctor are conspiring to get Bree to slip up and admit she’s responsible for the added potassium in his body, the note would be a great starting point for a conversation or “official” inquiry: “Bree, just what do you think your husband meant by this ambiguous note he wrote as he lying on his deathbed?” Any response short of “I have no idea” could be used as evidence of motive or intent. As for Rex’s behavior being unforgiveable, if he believes she’s trying to kill him then I’d say all bets regarding fairness and protecting her emotional state are off. Now, should the stunt prove she _didn’t_ try to kill him, well, yeah, I can’t see them getting back together afterward. Still, although my initial impression was that the death was faked, I think the earlier poster who predicted that Rex will be next season’s dead narrator called it. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/30 "2005-05-23T19:12:38Z")
> [@Dewey Finn](#): > > And of course Zach is Mike’s son. Actually, revealing that fact is how Mike is going to avoid getting shot… And Susan has the diary to back up the story. How convenient. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/31 "2005-05-23T19:20:03Z")
I’m beginning to wonder if all the males on this show aren’t essentially disposable characters, destined to eventually be written out? Rex: Probably dead. Carlos: Prison. Paul: Murderer. Probably will end up in prison and/or dead or at least disappear. Mike: Ex-con, just kidnapped Paul, assaulted him and attempted to kill him. I don’t see how it’s ever going to work out with Susan. Tom: Why do I get the feeling Lynette isn’t through screwing everything up? Somehow I think that marriage is doomed. Lynette hasn’t found out yet that Tom had an affair, but anyone wanna take bets she eventually does? Andrew: Vehicular manslaughter, off to reform school. Zach: Attempted murder, psycho. Off to reform school, or juvenile detention, or maybe a psychiatric hospital. The pharmacist: Can’t wait 'til Bree finds out he killed her husband. She’s armed, and believes in the death penalty, one way or the other. John: Aw, he’s so cute. Wonder how they’ll eventually get rid of him? Will Carlos have him killed? Unless he quickly establishes a million dollar chain of lawn-care companies, he sure can’t afford to provide Gabby with the life she’ll get, hook or by crook. Maybe they should have a spin-off show, Desperate Men Formerly of Wisteria Lane? It could be narrated by Rex. ---
**Author:** ![Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Licentious_Ectomorph)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/32 "2005-05-23T19:39:11Z")
No doctor who wants to keep his license would call a patient’s wife and falsely tell her that her husband died. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/33 "2005-05-23T19:40:37Z")
> [@Selkie](#): > > Still, although my initial impression was that the death was faked, I think the earlier poster who predicted that Rex will be next season’s dead narrator called it. So, does that mean there’s a big deep dark secret in Rex’s life that will be revealed in May, 2006? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/34 "2005-05-23T19:42:33Z")
\*\*Licentious Ectomorph \*\*- In real life maybe, but this _is_ a soap opera. ---
**Author:** ![YWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/6f9a4e/32.png) [@YWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YWalker)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/35 "2005-05-23T19:54:34Z")
I think Rex is just plain dead. He was sweaty, his breathing was labored and he looked as if he was exhausted as he was writing the note. That’s pretty much what someone in ventricular tachycardia would look like. Why would he be faking that if no one was there to enjoy his performance? (Although the bigger question is, if he’s in that unstable shape, why wasn’t he on a ECG at the time? Why didn’t he call the nurse when he felt himself getting to be that unstable?) The odd thing is, the doctor knows that something he was getting at home was making him worse — presumably because now that he was no longer being exposed to it at the hospital, he was getting better? Perhaps not. In any case, the note will be taken as Rex’s forgiveness of Bree for poisoning him — even though she wasn’t the guilty party. Too bad that even he didn’t know that. Very good episode. It brought several storylines to a reasonable amount of conclusion, along with providing several enticing cliffhangers for the fall. I hope they do as well with the season finale of Lost this Wednesday. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/36 "2005-05-23T20:56:17Z")
In the beginning when Mary Alice was looking at the calendar it showed the city name with the words “The Eagle State” underneath. Mississippi is also known as The Eagle State, FWIW. ---
**Author:** ![dare\_devil007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@dare\_devil007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dare_devil007)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/37 "2005-05-23T21:45:34Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > \ > Tom: Why do I get the feeling Lynette isn’t through screwing everything up? Somehow I think that marriage is doomed. Lynette hasn’t found out yet that Tom had an affair, but anyone wanna take bets she eventually does? > \ Tom had an affair? With who? When? Why? [Sorry, but I only started watching _DH_ two months ago.] ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2005, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/38 "2005-05-23T22:34:53Z")
Unless I missed something, I don’t think we know who Tom slept with, but it was strongly implied that he did. Furthermore, I don’t know that I want Rex to narrate- I rather like Mary Alice. Plus, she knows all the women so well, and you need someone who does to narrate. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/39 "2005-05-24T01:28:21Z")
I think Rex is dead, gone, kaput. This lays the scene for the son turning into psycho dude next season. They’d better not kill Mike off, though I tell you, in those desert scenes he wasn’t looking too hot. It’s too bad that Mary Alice’s story is finished because I enjoy the actress who plays her. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046/40 "2005-05-24T02:00:16Z")
> [@dare\_devil007\_](#): > > Tom had an affair? With who? When? Why? > > [Sorry, but I only started watching _DH_ two months ago.] We were never shown the affair, it happened before the events of the show. There was an episode when Tom’s father came to stay with them temporarily, and Lynette came home one day to find Tom’s father fooling around with a woman, NTW. So Lynette, always the obsessor, figured Tom may have inherited the infidelity gene and swore to Tom if she ever found out he fooled around on her she’d take his kids and leave him. Later when Tom was talking alone with his father he strongly suggested he _had_ had an affair, once, a long time ago, and he sure hopes Lynette never finds out, 'cause “she’ll take the kids and leave me.” If this show has any justice at all, now that Lynette is going to be the primary breadwinner, she’ll find out Tom had an affair, try to leave him but because Tom is the kids’ primary caregiver, he’ll get custody and she’ll have to pay child support. Of course knowing this show, that’ll only last a couple episodes then Tom will die in car crash/get murdered/go to prison. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-housewives-5-22-finale-unboxed-spoilers/305046.md?page=3)