# Desperate old stranger needs frank opinions **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 11, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640 "2007-12-11T19:11:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/41 "2007-12-12T02:53:49Z")
[QUOTE=Blushing Battleaxe] Thank you. This is a wonderful early Christmas present. I am touched enough by this gesture, I feel like crying. I surely did not expect this. If I had known that someone would be this kind, I would have tried this last year. Perhaps, I would not have gotten myself into this predicament. Then again, I would not have such a enthralling first post. [/quote] šŸ™‚ > [@Blushing Battleaxe](#): > > So, what do I need to do now? Just relax. Have fun. Read. Laugh. Marvel. Ponder. Debate. Empathise. Agree. Disagree. ā€œHave Hopeless Doper Crushesā€ on people. Celebrate. Give hugs. Get hugs. And post. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/42 "2007-12-12T02:57:57Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] Um, minor hijack, but how exactly _do_ I pay someone elseā€™s subscription? Email a mod, then get the PayPal ready? [/QUOTE] The directions are in ATMB in the ā€œWhy We Require Subscriptionsā€ thread. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/43 "2007-12-12T03:04:29Z")
[QUOTE=freckafree] The directions are in ATMB in the ā€œWhy We Require Subscriptionsā€ thread. [/QUOTE] Hey, neat! Thank you! Did I mention that I get paid the Friday before Christmas? :: rubs hands with glee, plots about making some peoplesā€™ days :: ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/44 "2007-12-12T03:14:48Z")
Welcome aboard, **BB**. Sounds like youā€™ve got spunk!\* If you have been lurking a while, then you already know what a wonderful bunch of people hang out here. Post often, ask any old question that crosses your mind, whatever. Enjoy your membership. \*Iā€™m not Lou Grant. I **love** spunk! ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/45 "2007-12-12T03:18:40Z")
Iā€™m posting to send you a big hug and a big welcome! I have nothing to add to the excellent advice given here. Iā€™m in to help with your subscription after the guest period is over. jali ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/46 "2007-12-12T03:32:34Z")
[QUOTE=Blushing Battleaxe] So, what do I need to do now? [/QUOTE] Errā€¦perhaps I shouldnā€™t post thisā€¦ The initiation involves a LOT of leather, a goat, and apparently a squid has been added since my initiation. What part the squid plays, I canā€™t sayā€¦ such things are on a ā€œneed to knowā€ basis. I can tell you that I have been given to know that almost 65% of our new members suffer almost NO permanent mental damage (up from the 40% of a couple of years agoā€¦). I do not want to know what part the squid plays, so I have not askedā€¦ not that I would be told anyways. Suffice it to say, when I joined it was an _interesting_ weekendā€¦ Good luck!!! Iā€™m sure the committee will be in contact with you shortlyā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/47 "2007-12-12T03:34:19Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] Hey, neat! Thank you! Did I mention that I get paid the Friday before Christmas? :: rubs hands with glee, plots about making some peoplesā€™ days :: [/QUOTE] You know, uh ā€¦ my reup time is coming next month. Just sayinā€™ is all. Uh, yeah, I have a job. Yeeeah, I have a disposable income. Why yes, I do get a Christmas bonus. Why do you ask? Iā€¦ what? But ā€¦ but ā€¦ but LOOK! [KITTIES!](http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l313/Angellove_010/PETS/ThreeAmigosEdited.jpg) _yoink_ [sub]Wait. What the hell did I just yoink?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/48 "2007-12-12T03:42:21Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] [sub]Wait. What the hell did I just yoink?[/sub] [/QUOTE] I was going to ask _you_ that. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/49 "2007-12-12T03:43:42Z")
[QUOTE=Astroboy14] Errā€¦perhaps I shouldnā€™t post thisā€¦ The initiation involves a LOT of leather, a goat, and apparently a squid has been added since my initiation. What part the squid plays, I canā€™t sayā€¦ such things are on a ā€œneed to knowā€ basis. I can tell you that I have been given to know that almost 65% of our new members suffer almost NO permanent mental damage (up from the 40% of a couple of years agoā€¦). I do not want to know what part the squid plays, so I have not askedā€¦ not that I would be told anyways. Suffice it to say, when I joined it was an _interesting_ weekendā€¦ Good luck!!! Iā€™m sure the committee will be in contact with you shortlyā€¦ [/QUOTE] Damn you\*\*, AstroBoy14\*\*! Just when we thought weā€™d convinced \*\*BB \*\*we were all a bunch of Kumbaya-singing handholders! The squid will be disappointed, and that scares me. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/50 "2007-12-12T03:48:44Z")
I think all you need to do is enjoy your crush. Crushes are wonderful things - they make ordinary days more interesting, they give us something to look forward to, they enhance our experiences. Just keep your head straight about it - your crush on Sam is just a crush, and not something that needs to be acted on or confessed. We all have crushes all the time; it makes boring work much more interesting to look forward to seeing that hot young guy. I think people get in trouble with them when we mistake them for something that has to be more than what it is - an enjoyable fantasy. And welcome to the boards! (AWWWW! Kitties!) ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/51 "2007-12-12T03:49:38Z")
[QUOTE=freckafree] Damn you\*\*, AstroBoy14\*\*! Just when we thought weā€™d convinced \*\*BB \*\*we were all a bunch of Kumbaya-singing handholders! The squid will be disappointed, and that scares me. [/QUOTE] Hey, I still feel kinda weird that I never learned the goatā€™s nameā€¦ you get _that_ intimate with someoneā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/52 "2007-12-12T03:56:59Z")
[QUOTE=freckafree] Cue orchestra for ā€œI Enjoy Being a Doper.ā€ I challenge the rest of you to provide lyrics! [/QUOTE] Well, itā€™s not ā€œI Enjoy Being a Doper,ā€ but will you accept a few lines from ā€œMy Favourite Threadsā€? \*Aircraft on treadmills and saying Hi Opal Hal and his sheep and all things Straight Dopal The Horror of Blimps and Name my Thoroughbredsā€“ These are a few of my favourite threads! When Iā€™m lonely, When Iā€™m fatigued, When Iā€™m feeling sadā€¦ I simply log on to the SDMB And then I donā€™t feel so bad!\* Welcome, **Blushing Battleaxe**! Itā€™s nice to have you with us! ---
**Author:** ![DJ\_Motorbike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90ced4/32.png) [@DJ\_Motorbike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DJ_Motorbike)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/53 "2007-12-12T04:00:30Z")
**Blushing Battleaxe** , I bet youā€™ve broken many hearts in your day. Think of them, and relax with a wicked smile on your face. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/54 "2007-12-12T04:04:53Z")
Hush up about the squid! Mariah is supposed to be a **surprise**! **Blushing Battleaxe** , I am glad you decided to accept a membership. I hope you will enjoy it here. If you find yourself with a bit of time on your hands, join us in the MMP (Monday Morning Post). A new one is started each Monday and we talk about all sorts of stuff ranging from recipes to our sex lives. And each others sex lives. And cats. Someone above mentioned a very important point - you are only seeing Sam at his best. I have had many patients and relatives of patients tell me how wonderful Mr. SCL is - and he is wonderful. They donā€™t see him slouching around the house in his underwear with beer in his hand. So the ā€œSamā€ you have feelings for is not entirely the real Sam - not the entire person. Even though a patient and caregiver often become close, epecially in private duty situations, the nurse is always ā€œon dutyā€. If it helps to get your feelings under control, imagine him having one of the worst habits you can think of - he leaves dirty dishes in the sink, or leaves lights on, or leaves the toilet seat up. I am very glad you have found the advice here helpful to you. I look forward to reading more posts from you. ---
**Author:** ![Blushing\_Battleaxe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@Blushing\_Battleaxe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blushing_Battleaxe)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/55 "2007-12-12T16:48:06Z")
I wanted to post something last night but I had some company who were not privy to my little secret. After they left, I did get the chance to reread my first post that reduced me tears of shame. How embarrassing. It took a while but I was able to collect my wits with some help from a couple or arrowroot cookies and Horlicks. SnakesCatLady, I have tried this tactic too many times before. I imagined Sam stealing from me as one caretaker did before him. Sometimes, I wish he just would up and filch a few items, and then it would be over. I wish I would catch him sticking something under his chair that came from his nose, which would definitely end it, too. DJ Motorbike, wicked smile indeed. I used to get quite a reaction when I wink at men. Sam here would probably think it is some kind of facial palsy. Can we name the goat Sam? ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/56 "2007-12-12T19:11:06Z")
[QUOTE=Blushing Battleaxe] So, what do I need to do now? [/QUOTE] Forget Sam, and start a crush with me instead. How you doinā€™? šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/57 "2007-12-12T19:24:18Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] I think all you need to do is enjoy your crush. [/QUOTE] And your sponge baths. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/58 "2007-12-12T19:24:59Z")
[QUOTE=Blushing Battleaxe] I wish I would catch him sticking something under his chair that came from his nose, which would definitely end it, too. [/QUOTE] I canā€™t make Sam do that; but in your honor Iā€™ll see what I can dig up! (HA! I slay meā€¦) šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![KC\_Bravelens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eb8c5e/32.png) [@KC\_Bravelens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KC_Bravelens)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/59 "2007-12-12T19:27:42Z")
:dubious: Am i the only one? ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640/60 "2007-12-12T19:31:10Z")
[QUOTE=KC Bravelens] :dubious: Am i the only one? [/QUOTE] Nope. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/desperate-old-stranger-needs-frank-opinions/429640.md?page=4)