# Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick Gets His Blackberrys Squeezed
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [January 24, 2008, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878 "2008-01-24T22:13:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2008, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/1 "2008-01-24T22:13:05Z")
So the mayor of Detroit is possibly going to jail for [perjuring himself](http://freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080124/NEWS05/801240414&theme=KILPATRICK012008) last fall, and he cost city taxpayers $9 million as a result of gross malfeasence, yadda yadda yadda.
He claimed under oath that he has had no sexual relationship with his chief of staff, but now text messages from a couple years ago on city-owned Blackberrys prove otherwise, yadda yadda yadda…
But here’s the real dirt: [actual excerpts](http://freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080123/NEWS05/301230008) from the simp-ly scan-dal-ous text messages!
Here are some of my favorites (it’s best to put on Barry White’s ‘Can’t Get Enough of Your Love’ while you read them):
> [@](#):
>
> Kwame Kilpatrick: KK: I’ve been dreaming all day about having you all to myself for 3 days…relaxing, laughing, talking, sleeping and making love.
> [@](#):
>
> Kwame Kilpatrick: They were right outside the [hotel] door. They [the mayor’s bodyguards] had to have heard everything…
>
> Christine Beatty: So we are officially busted! LOL
>
> KK: LOL LOL! Damn that. Never busted. Busted is what you see! LOL. …
>
> CB: LOL, LOL. Damn, so they have to walk in before you conceed busted! LOL.
>
> KK: Hell yeah. Walk in.
> [@](#):
>
> Kwame Kilpatrick: I need you soooo bad. I want to wake up in the morning and you are there. Make it happen. Love ya.
We in Michigan may not have jobs, or money, or hope for our kids’ future, but we’ve got a former model as a governor _and_ a smooth love doctor as the mayor of our largest city. SUCK THAT ILLINOIS!
---
### Author:  [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2008, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/2 "2008-01-24T22:15:31Z")
In your face Indiana!
Geographically, we’re on top of you!
---
### Author:  [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2008, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/3 "2008-01-25T00:34:15Z")
We pay so many lawsuits every year. No money but we treat our money like it is a playground for the mayor. disaster
---
### Author:  [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2008, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/4 "2008-01-25T00:47:52Z")
It’s just another day in the Mitt.
---
### Author:  [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2008, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/5 "2008-01-25T00:51:36Z")
LOL?
Jesus Christ, even our leaders speak like idiots. Is it any wonder why we have so many problems? What’s next, OMFG in an official memo?
---
### Author:  [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2008, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/6 "2008-01-25T01:10:23Z")
ROFLMAO! OMGZ were costing txpayrs millionz! LOL! LOL!
---
### Author:  [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2008, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/7 "2008-01-25T01:19:16Z")
They were reading some of the messages on the news this morning.
KK: This is the first time I’ve failed to seduce you. I must be off my game!
CB: Your game is fine!
Sigh. The media is so predictable. Forget about the fact that Kilpatrick fired that cop for reporting on the wild party (held at the city’s expense at the mayor’s mansion), all that the news drones care about are the sexy e-mails.
---
### Author:  [@PharmBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PharmBoy)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2008, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/8 "2008-01-25T01:36:11Z")
When will these guys learn? You can’t lie in court. Period.
---
### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2008, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/9 "2008-01-25T02:12:38Z")
[QUOTE=City of Detroit, Office of the Mayor]
As chief of staff, Christine Beatty has built a solid “can-do” reputation.
[/QUOTE]
[http://www.ci.detroit.mi.us/mayor/Mayors\_Cabinet.htm](http://www.ci.detroit.mi.us/mayor/Mayors_Cabinet.htm)
“Can-do” the mayor in Room 313 of the Wyndham, perhaps…
---
### Author:  [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2008, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/10 "2008-01-25T02:15:56Z")
I _really_ need to bust into politics. When does it become my turn to be a morally bankrupt individual?
---
### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2008, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/11 "2008-01-25T02:19:01Z")
[QUOTE=Airman Doors, USAF]
LOL?
Jesus Christ, even our leaders speak like idiots. Is it any wonder why we have so many problems? What’s next, OMFG in an official memo?
[/QUOTE]
You read my mind. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t want to vote for someone who writes “LOL LOL!”
---
### Author:  [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2008, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/12 "2008-01-25T02:40:56Z")
> [@](#):
>
> “Technically,” Murphy wrote, “any time a person engages in sexual penetration in an adulterous relationship, he or she is guilty of CSC I,” the most serious sexual assault charge in Michigan’s criminal code.
[http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE\_ID=53782](http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53782)
We’ve got an state attorney general and a mayor of a key city who’ve both commited serious sex crimes. :eek:
---
### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2008, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/13 "2008-01-25T03:20:30Z")
[QUOTE=Gfactor]
[http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE\_ID=53782](http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53782)
We’ve got an state attorney general and a mayor of a key city who’ve both commited serious sex crimes. :eek:
[/QUOTE]
Well, if your state’s definition of a “serious sex crime” is extra-marital sex, perhaps you should reconsider whether a “serious sex crime” is a big deal…
Hell, Clinton would be a serious sex offender if the Oval Office was in Dearborn.
---
### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2008, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/14 "2008-01-25T12:53:39Z")
I thought it was expected of elected officials to have affairs.
Except for Hillary.
---
### Author:  [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/15 "2008-01-25T19:28:21Z")
In all seriousness, is there any way this guy can keep his job? How can anyone believe a fucking word out of his mouth anymore? How can he effectively work with the city council, city unions, press, and state and county governments? He was pretty good at blaming the white prejudices of Oakland County before, but now he can’t lean on that crutch. He only has himself to blame for this BS.
How soon before he steps down? I say he doesn’t survive next week.
---
### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2008, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/16 "2008-01-25T19:38:15Z")
[QUOTE=Airman Doors, USAF]
What’s next, OMFG in an official memo?
[/QUOTE]
“Ladies and gentlemen, the state of our union is roxxors.”
\
“Woot.”
\
---
### Author:  [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2008, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/17 "2008-01-25T19:47:31Z")
[QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright]
Hell, Clinton would be a serious sex offender if the Oval Office was in Dearborn.
[/QUOTE]
That would really depend on what the definition of “if” is…
---
### Author:  [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2008, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/18 "2008-01-25T20:36:45Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Lendervedder]
In all seriousness, is there any way this guy can keep his job? How can anyone believe a fucking word out of his mouth? How can he effectively work with the city council, city unions, press, and state and county governments?
How soon before he steps down? I say he doesn’t survive next week.
[/QUOTE]
He ought to, but I’m not so sure he will. He wouldn’t be the first Detroit Mayor to be implicated in serious crimes and caught in major lies.
[http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D0CEEDB123CF935A25752C0A967958260](http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D0CEEDB123CF935A25752C0A967958260) (Mayor Young pleads Fifth during Ken Weiner fraud trial–all sorts of embarassing tapes are played and it is alleged he is traficking in krugerrands).
[http://www.metrotimes.com/archives/young/timeline.html](http://www.metrotimes.com/archives/young/timeline.html) (Young denies having sex with city employee until paternity established, then admits paternity).
And it’s not like this is the first big lie he’s told. [http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/4105856/detail.html](http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/4105856/detail.html)
---
### Author:  [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2008, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/19 "2008-01-26T00:02:40Z")
At least he didn’t text his dream of being reincarnated as her [Tampax.](http://www.ohnonews.com/pccpbtr.html)
---
### Author:  [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)
#### Post date: [January 26, 2008, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878/20 "2008-01-26T00:23:05Z")
[QUOTE=Gfactor]
He ought to, but I’m not so sure he will. He wouldn’t be the first Detroit Mayor to be implicated in serious crimes and caught in major lies.
[http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D0CEEDB123CF935A25752C0A967958260](http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D0CEEDB123CF935A25752C0A967958260) (Mayor Young pleads Fifth during Ken Weiner fraud trial–all sorts of embarassing tapes are played and it is alleged he is traficking in krugerrands).
[http://www.metrotimes.com/archives/young/timeline.html](http://www.metrotimes.com/archives/young/timeline.html) (Young denies having sex with city employee until paternity established, then admits paternity).
And it’s not like this is the first big lie he’s told. [http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/4105856/detail.html](http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/4105856/detail.html)
[/QUOTE]
Dearborn Heights mayors also have a very dubious past.
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/detroit-mayor-kwame-kilpatrick-gets-his-blackberrys-squeezed/434878.md?page=2)