# Dex, we're very unclear **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 16, 2006, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855 "2006-02-16T19:50:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/21 "2006-02-16T21:31:09Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > William Shatner, is that you? Oh man. I’m not sure whether William Shatner reading my favorite ee cummings sonnets would be wonderful or horrific. Both, I guess. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/22 "2006-02-16T21:44:29Z")
Here’s the antidote for that: have him read [Dr. Seuss](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0394844947/103-5102539-9755811?v=glance&n=283155). ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/23 "2006-02-16T23:32:34Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > Eartha Kitt? Is that you? 😃😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/24 "2006-02-16T23:46:22Z")
I have zero problem with characterizations of my first or subsequent posts as sounding snooty or high-hat or condescending or unfriendly or almost every thing that they’ve been labeled here. You’re perfectly right. My tone was meant to be sternly admonishing. But there’s a very sharp distinction, to my mind and in my judgment, between any of those terms and behaving like a jerk. I am unaware that sounding friendly or pleasant or affable or positive or helpful or obsequious or purple is anything like a requirement of being able to post here without official mod admonishment. The moment I find out it is will be the moment I lose interest entirely in posting here again. If Dex had written. “PPR, you’re being very unpleasant,” I would have agreed with him. I meant to be unpleasant. I would hope I’m not so incompentent a writer as to have my tone of voice mistaken for a different tone. Probably if Dex had simply written “Cut it out, both of you,” I would still be annoyed in the same way I am right now, but not so annoyed as to have posted a Pit thread. By singling me out for special obnoxiousness, without finding a specific personal insult in the thread, Dex was putting me on notice that future posts of a vaguely uppity nature will get me into similar trouble. I do not appreciate such a nebulous threat, and am still seeking clarification. Anyone care to isolate one word, phrase, sentence (or a whole post) from my contributions to that thread that may not be written in CS again without a official Mod warning? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/25 "2006-02-17T00:08:04Z")
> [@pseudotriton ruber ruber](#): > > But there’s a very sharp distinction, to my mind and in my judgment, between any of those terms and behaving like a jerk. Oh please. He didn’t say you were “behaving like a jerk.”’ What he said was: > [@C K Dexter haven](#): > > pseudotriton and Biffy: this is official Moderator Order to cease and desist. Personal insults are NOT permitted in Cafe Society. Pseudo, it looks like you started it, but I don’t really care who started it. You’re both stopping it, as of … 5 …4…3…2…1 NOW. > > We clear on this? Pretty much everyone agrees you were being insulting (and I think so too). That’s all you were accused of, and told to stop. Why are you getting so worked up about it is beyond me. > [@](#): > > Anyone care to isolate one word, phrase, sentence (or a whole post) from my contributions to that thread that may not be written in CS again without a official Mod warning? People have already pointed out several sentences of yours that were insulting. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/26 "2006-02-17T00:22:20Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Oh please. He didn’t say you were “behaving like a jerk.”’ What he said was: > > Pretty much everyone agrees you were being insulting (and I think so too). That’s all you were accused of, and told to stop. Why are you getting so worked up about it is beyond me. > > People have already pointed out several sentences of yours that were insulting. And I argue that being insulting is, as far as I know, not deserving of an official Mod warning. What was I being warned against? Being condescending? You really need me to find you condescending posts that have been written by Mods themselves? I don’t have to look very far. As I say, I agree that my tone with Biffy with sharp. Or can’t I be sharp? Maybe it’s querrulousness that’s the problem. Or maybe it’s being snippy. Or uppity. Or difficult. Are all of these things, and more, to be relegated to the Pit? Because if all you’ve got is a problem with my knowing some things about meter but being unwilling to write a treatise on it for Biffy’s edification without being asked, then you’ve got nothing as far as I’m concerned. “Fuck You,” by the way, is a spondee, though it could arguably be an iamb in certain contexts, or a trochee in others. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/27 "2006-02-17T00:27:27Z")
“As I say, I agree that my tone with Biffy with sharp” should be “As I say, I agree that my tone with Biffy was sharp.” My question about a specific word, phrase, sentence or post that warranted an official Mod warning still stands, utterly unresponded to. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/28 "2006-02-17T00:34:54Z")
A poet shouldn’t have to be told about the synergistic nature of a piece. Sometimes it isn’t one specific phrase, but the sum total. Obviously **Dex** felt you crossed a line. Many people have told you that your tone was insulting, essentially bordering on fightin’ words. Perhaps you should email **Dex** and find out his thoughts in private? ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/29 "2006-02-17T00:46:01Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > A poet shouldn’t have to be told about the synergistic nature of a piece. Sometimes it isn’t one specific phrase, but the sum total. Obviously **Dex** felt you crossed a line. Many people have told you that your tone was insulting, essentially bordering on fightin’ words. Perhaps you should email **Dex** and find out his thoughts in private? Because I want to find out right here, in public, the words I used that I shouldn’t use again. Just telling me that I was too synergistic doesn’t cut it—what am I supposed to remember, not to write anything that might be synergistic again? If that’s all you have, or Colibri has, or Dex has, then I feel free to ignore it, and to go on posting however I please until I get banned for being too synergistic or too condescending or whatever the fuck you or they think I’m being warned against. A warning that can’t be clarified beyond “too synergistic” is no warning at all. If Dex wants to e-mail me, of course, I think he can figure out how to reach me. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/30 "2006-02-17T00:48:52Z")
> [@pseudotriton ruber ruber](#): > > And I argue that being insulting is, as far as I know, not deserving of an official Mod warning. What was I being warned against? You’ve got some further understanding of the SDMB rules to do, I’m afraid. That makes almost no sense. Unlike you, I will provide a cite for the rules of [Cafe Society](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=343601) > [@](#): > > Good manners and common courtesy > Personal insults are not permitted in this forum. You can insult an artistic work, you can say what you’d like about an awful movie or poem or TV show or concert. Within reasonable limits, you can insult the artist/creator/writer. But you may not insult the posters. > > This forum is about entertainment and arts, and there’s rarely a “correct” answer. Multiple viewpoints about entertainment and art are to be expected. It should be possible to share your views, understand someone else’s views, and disagree with someone else’s views, without the need for personal insults. > > Violations of good manners and common courtesy constitute jerkhood, and are a bannable offense. If you must flame, go the forum called BBQ Pit and insult as you please. You were being insulting. Therefore, you get a warning. Simple, no? Cafe Society is a lighthearted forum for discussion of the arts. It is not a place for someone to be “sternly admonished” for not knowing the ins and outs of iambic pentameter. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/31 "2006-02-17T00:51:32Z")
… I can’t help but feel that there’s a disconnect. Quite obviously I wasn’t saying you were being “too synergistic”. I don’t think that there’s any such thing. But the _effect_ of your posts was, essentially, to start a fight. Even if one single phrase doesn’t stand out alone as evidence of that. Evidently **Dex** was telling you not to behave in that manner in CS, or at least that’s my take on it. If you’re really curious you’ll probably have much more luck talking to him in email without everybody chiming in on every point. But it is, of course, up to you. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/32 "2006-02-17T00:57:35Z")
> [@pseudotriton ruber ruber](#): > > And I argue that being insulting is, as far as I know, not deserving of an official Mod warning. What was I being warned against? Being condescending? You really need me to find you condescending posts that have been written by Mods themselves? I don’t have to look very far. First of all, you weren’t officially Warned. You were just told to knock off what you were doing by a mod. Which means it doesn’t go on your permanent record unless you decide to keep doing it. As for why, I can’t speak for **Dex** of course, but I’d say being unnecessarily condescending and rude to another poster probably pretty much covers it. You’re welcome to disagree with other posters, but you don’t have to be a dick about it. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/33 "2006-02-17T01:10:54Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > First of all, you weren’t officially Warned. You were just told to knock off what you were doing by a mod. Which means it doesn’t go on your permanent record unless you decide to keep doing it. > > As for why, I can’t speak for **Dex** of course, but I’d say being unnecessarily condescending and rude to another poster probably pretty much covers it. You’re welcome to disagree with other posters, but you don’t have to be a dick about it. Find me a word or phrase or sentence or post I wrote that I’m forbidden or officially discouraged from saying again, or STFU, please. **Finn Again** , I think it’s fairly obvious that I was trying to make fun of you for using a twelve-dollar word like “synergistic” to mean “vague shit that you are being warned against saying here.” If I can’t say something, then what is it that I can’t say? In my view, you are simply encouraging ignorance when you allow a poster as pig-ignorant as **Biffy** to expound on a subject on which he knows very little, and to censure a poster for pointing out, however unkindly, his ignorance. If that’s the way you want to go, I certainly cant stop you, but I find it rather sad that the SD is forming a protective cirlce around ignorance here. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/34 "2006-02-17T01:19:02Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > First of all, you weren’t officially Warned. You were just told to knock off what you were doing by a mod. Which means it doesn’t go on your permanent record unless you decide to keep doing it. > > As for why, I can’t speak for **Dex** of course, but I’d say being unnecessarily condescending and rude to another poster probably pretty much covers it. You’re welcome to disagree with other posters, but you don’t have to be a dick about it. Oh, and **Giraffe**? Have you read the thread in question? If so, please find me the distinction between the official Warning that, according to you, I wasn’t given, and this: “pseudotriton and Biffy: this is official Moderator Order to cease and desist. Personal insults are NOT permitted in Cafe Society. Pseudo, it looks like you started it”, which Dex wrote, and which I took exception to. Thank you for explaining this very fine distinction in advance. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/35 "2006-02-17T01:23:03Z")
One could interpret your “you aren’t ready to learn” comment as calling him willfully ignorant, which is probably the worst insult one can hurl on this board. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/36 "2006-02-17T01:27:35Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > One could interpret your “you aren’t ready to learn” comment as calling him willfully ignorant, which is probably the worst insult one can hurl on this board. And one could interpret “fuck you with a rubber hose” as being a gentle offer for some sweet loving, but if you have to strain that hard to find an interpretation that suits your purposes, you’re probably doing something wrong in your interpretation. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/37 "2006-02-17T01:28:28Z")
> [@pseudotriton ruber ruber](#): > > …please find me the distinction between the official Warning that, according to you, I wasn’t given, and this: > > “pseudotriton and Biffy: this is official Moderator Order to cease and desist. Personal insults are NOT permitted in Cafe Society. Pseudo, it looks like you started it”… He already explained the distiction to you. You were not “Officially Warned” about your bad behavior, you were “Officially Ordered” to knock it off. You’re being deliberately obtuse and you’re acting like a complete jackass. I would strongly suggest you step away from the computer for a bit; take a walk, have a breath of fresh air or do whatever it is that relaxes you. You’re getting yourself all worked up over what was a minor incident. I like you. I think you’re an intelligent guy with a lot to contribute the boards; I’d hate to see you flame out like this. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/38 "2006-02-17T01:32:47Z")
> [@pseudotriton ruber ruber](#): > > In my view, you are simply encouraging ignorance when you allow a poster as pig-ignorant as **Biffy** to expound on a subject on which he knows very little, and to censure a poster for pointing out, however unkindly, his ignorance. If that’s the way you want to go, I certainly cant stop you… **pseudotriton ruber squared** , you are a dick. Is that iambic pentameter enough for you? ---
**Author:** ![Taran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Taran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taran)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/39 "2006-02-17T01:35:46Z")
Cecil is famous for his snark, but before or after he lays down the smack, _every single time_, he provides some facts. This forum will forgive a great deal, in exchange for useful information. You didn’t provide any, you didn’t even provide a hint as to where it might be found. If you remember **Collounsbury** , remember that he got away with offenses far more egregious than the one you’re being taken to task for here. He shared what he knew, inamidst the tirades, so he was given a great deal of slack. “But whats-his-face wasn’t ready to learn!” Maybe so, but he wasn’t the only person to be reading your replies. On preview: This is, of course, directed to **prr** and not **Lord Ashtar**. On second preview: Good God this thread is moving fast. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2006, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855/40 "2006-02-17T01:35:58Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] > [@pseudotriton ruber ruber](#): > > …please find me the distinction between the official Warning that, according to you, I wasn’t given, and this: > > “pseudotriton and Biffy: this is official Moderator Order to cease and desist. Personal insults are NOT permitted in Cafe Society. Pseudo, it looks like you started it”…/QUOTE] > He already explained the distiction to you. You were not “Officially Warned” about your bad behavior, you were “Officially Ordered” to knock it off. You’re being deliberately obtuse and you’re acting like a complete jackass. I would strongly suggest you step away from the computer for a bit; take a walk, have a breath of fresh air or do whatever it is that relaxes you. You’re getting yourself all worked up over what was a minor incident. I like you. I think you’re an intelligent guy with a lot to contribute the boards; I’d hate to see you flame out like this. I would like to hear Dex defend his defense of ignorance. While thanking you for your “strong suggest[ion]”, I prefer to stick around. If what you write above is truly Dex’s distinction (replete with legal language), then I will just think less of him for it, and will continue to post about it until I get a response that makes a shred of sense to me. If you really don’t want me to jump in with a factual correction in CS when I spot someone making a series of incorrect factual assumptions on a complicated subject on which I know some things, then as I say, that’s fine with me, if just a little sad. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dex-were-very-unclear/344855.md?page=3)