# DFW Dopers go to the fair and Palmyra has a birthday. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 22, 2000, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dfw-dopers-go-to-the-fair-and-palmyra-has-a-birthday/37848 "2000-10-22T02:51:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Lord\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecccb3/32.png) [@Lord\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dfw-dopers-go-to-the-fair-and-palmyra-has-a-birthday/37848/161 "2000-10-23T21:00:25Z")
Me thinks we have got this straightened out now. ---
**Author:** ![SkySlash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@SkySlash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkySlash)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dfw-dopers-go-to-the-fair-and-palmyra-has-a-birthday/37848/162 "2000-10-23T21:00:46Z")
1. Eh? 2. Very astute of ya! 😉 3. So you are gay? Or you’re bi? -SS ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecccb3/32.png) [@Lord\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dfw-dopers-go-to-the-fair-and-palmyra-has-a-birthday/37848/163 "2000-10-23T21:02:12Z")
This has to be one of the strangest DopeFest recap threads of all times. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dfw-dopers-go-to-the-fair-and-palmyra-has-a-birthday/37848/164 "2000-10-23T21:02:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SkySlash \* > \*\*1. Eh? > > 1. Very astute of ya! 😉 > > 2. So you are gay? Or you’re bi? > > -SS \*\* 1. Anything I get I want to be because I earned it, or otherwise not because of a lack of other people. IOW, I don’t want any “well, he was taken so I’m going with you instead.” Gee, how nice. Excuse me while I go cry in the corner. 2. Sometimes I can put individual facts together to form a cogent thought. I wish I could do this for class. 3. Not gay. ---
**Author:** ![SkySlash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@SkySlash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkySlash)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dfw-dopers-go-to-the-fair-and-palmyra-has-a-birthday/37848/165 "2000-10-23T21:07:03Z")
1. Aha! 2. Murphy’s law! 3. Are you bi or straight? Dont have to answer as I really am not worried about it 😉 -SS ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dfw-dopers-go-to-the-fair-and-palmyra-has-a-birthday/37848/166 "2000-10-23T21:08:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SkySlash \* > The guy in question would stand out in your mind. His last name is Rayburn and he’s a big guy, weighs in around 400 at about 6’0" That sounds like my backup fighter in the last game! (My front-line fighter was a little girl, about 4’3" and 95 pounds–she protected him.) I only remember him as “Goliath”, buy his name could’ve been Rayburn. If the guy in the pic has a green shirt, a bandolier full of bean bags, and a hunting horn he’s almost certainly me as “Gordon Dexter, practitioner of sax magic”. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dfw-dopers-go-to-the-fair-and-palmyra-has-a-birthday/37848/167 "2000-10-23T21:25:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SkySlash \* > 3. Are you bi or straight? Dont have to answer as I really am not worried about it 😉 > \*\* Don’t worry abt it:) Not like it’ll ever make a difference with you. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dfw-dopers-go-to-the-fair-and-palmyra-has-a-birthday/37848/168 "2000-10-24T02:41:01Z")
I couldn’t help but notice, punha, that you didn’t actually answer the question. Hmmmmmmmm… _grin_ ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dfw-dopers-go-to-the-fair-and-palmyra-has-a-birthday/37848/169 "2000-10-24T02:43:07Z")
Of course, I LIKE that air of mystery you’re cultivating… ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dfw-dopers-go-to-the-fair-and-palmyra-has-a-birthday/37848/170 "2000-10-24T05:52:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chef Troy \* > \*\*Of course, I LIKE that air of mystery you’re cultivating… \*\* There you go, then:) If I told everyone what I was, it would take all the intrigue, mystery . . . all that bullshit away. You wouldn’t want that, now, would you, Cheffie dear? ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dfw-dopers-go-to-the-fair-and-palmyra-has-a-birthday/37848/171 "2000-10-24T16:22:50Z")
I don’t care if you’re gay, straight, bi, or like frogs - **SkySlash** sure is a cutie, ain’t he? {tee hee} Esprix ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dfw-dopers-go-to-the-fair-and-palmyra-has-a-birthday/37848/172 "2000-10-24T19:25:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > I don’t care if you’re gay, straight, bi, or like frogs - **SkySlash** sure is a cutie, ain’t he? {tee hee} > > Esprix I will refrain from comment, except to say that I, for one, am damn glad he’s trying to get involved with the daughter of his coworkers . . . that’s one less person around my virtual wife I have to worry about. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dfw-dopers-go-to-the-fair-and-palmyra-has-a-birthday/37848/173 "2000-10-24T21:28:36Z")
I barely made it to El Arroyo by the appointed time - traffic stopped on the freeway the moment I hit Dallas and I had to take a side road to the restaurant(I hate driving in Dallas) After screeching into the parking lot I greeted Chef and Aglarond & found out that the new person was ExTank - who is a real cutie and not at all what I expected. Mrs. Chef & Chef Jr. were hiding - probably because they saw how I was driving. Grace showed up soon after and we headed out, making a small detour to Chez Chef. The usual witty banter swirled around the van with Grace and I looking like tennis fans as we participated in conversations on both sides. The “You slept with a mechanic?” statement tickled me because three voices asked in unison. Chef Jr wasn’t very happy though - he kept telling us that if we didn’t stop talking (an impossibility for SDMBers) his head would explode. We all went “Cool” and started talking more while watching him, hoping it would come true. We weren’t to worried about the mess. Aglarond was sitting next to him and was wearing a shirt that wouldn’t show the blood stains. (Although the little grey bits could be a problem). At the fair we looked at the horses and I got amused by the “Bovine Beauty School” (my sense of humor is unfortunate sometimes) There was a beautiful Analusian Stallion - but Chef said it wouldn’t fit in the minivan. Then we got our first injection of fair grease in the form of Tornado Potatoes (?) a cross between twisty fries and potato chips. With cheese sauce just in case that wasn’t greasy enough. While enjoying the pleasures of the fair, I noticed a strange act - a guy who was made to look like he was cut off at the chest, talking to the crowd making “short” jokes e.g. “I’m a little short on time” I felt like he belongs in the very vaguely creepy thread. Strangely, everyone got even funnier after I downed the mug-o-wine at the fair. Dinner at El Arroyo was great. Palmyra is gorgeous and sweet and had just met her virtual father JimB. That night, she and iampunha eloped - I’m sure those two items aren’t related. Oddly enough the women were all together (although JimB sat himself in the middle of us) but this is so that we could look at all the hot man-flesh in our party and compare notes. 😛 Grace was talking about how good looking Brood McEto with his shaved scalp and stated “He’s so cute I want to lick his head” I asked how many people at the table were pyros - at least two-thirds of the group. I wonder why that is? Palmyra and I proved it by sticking her birthday candle to the table and burning it down to a microscopic puddle of wax. Everyone had to light the candles that Grace gave us. When we went out for pictures and saw the raccoon, Ag called out - “Hey Jim, there’s a woman for you!” All in all, another great get-together with my Doper friends and one of the largest we’ve had yet. These are such great people (and good-looking too!) ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2000, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dfw-dopers-go-to-the-fair-and-palmyra-has-a-birthday/37848/174 "2000-10-26T00:25:25Z")
In keeping with my propensity for wandering into conversations late: **Balance:** FTR: yes, I suffer from _nonsequitoritis_. It’s not terminal, just terminally embarassing on occasion. Which is why I make my living tracking errant electrons down electronic circuits instead of trying to supplant Jerry Seinfeld. Being my first Dope Fest (I never inhaled!), I was a bit unsure of what to expect. I went lurk-mode to get a feel for the group dynamic, but quickly realized that without the application of Chaos Theory Mathematics, the group dynamic would never be solved, so I took the path of least resistance and just rolled with it. Try as I might (with ample and able help from **Grace, Zyada and Algarond** ), **Chef Jr.'s** head didn’t explode. I thought a corn dog might do the trick, but it wasn’t meant to be. The idea of going to the fair in the rain in order to beat the crowds was undoubtedly a good one; unfortunately, it was shared by 7/10 of the D/FW fair-going population. **Algarond** earned high marks for buying me a Shiner, while **Grace** and **Zyada** earned my respect for two opposite acts: one chugged the box-wine while the other poured it out onto the ground. WOW! The El Arroy rocks! What I call the quintessential Texican grub-joint: cheesy decor, great food and budget prices. I chose the El Patron: a marinated tenderloin “covered in Monterey Jack and Jalapenos”. The menu lied. It was smothered, covered and piled HIGH with the little green devils. If it hadn’t been for the copious consumption of Negra Modelo, I might’ve spontaneously combusted (which I’m sure the rest would’ve enjoyed immensely, and commented on endlessly for future Dope Fests to come). Poor **AdamYax** : he gets my vote for Most Forebearing, with **Chef Troy** as first runner-up. I stole all of their napkins in a futile attempt to stem the tide of perspiration, and slung sweat all over both of them (icky-gross, I know, but hey…) and **Balance** tried to blow Adam up (not really, but it might’ve seemed that way to him) with the nifty Exploding Fingers Trick. And nary a peep out of him. Of course, it might be the very _last_ Dope Fest he ever attends. ☹ The picture…was definitely “vaguely creepy”. Kramer? Schnieder? The world wonders… It was my pleasure to pick up the check; that day and evening was the most fun I’d had in a while (no comments from the peanut gallery!) Hey, I got a free pass to the fair, some help with the tickets for the giant Ferris Wheel, and a free beer. My dear departed Irish grandmother would’ve came back and haunted my ass if I didn’t pay for _something._ I guess I’m one of those “easily amused/cheaply bought” types. Hmmmm…maybe a carreer in politics? I didn’t really get a chance to talk to **Palmyra, Sky Slash** or **JimB** , as the seating arrangement would’ve demanded me shouting either into **Chef’s** ear or across the table, and I didn’t know how much **Adam** would put up with before snapping and bludgeoning me to death with a Federale Special. Next time we’ll juggle the seating arrangement a bit. Our party was joined by a latecomer I dubbed “Little Ed”; an inquisitive and fairly bold raccoon that **JimB** had fun playing with and the rest of us kept a safe distance from. And **Palmyra:** ignore those other guys; _I’m_ the dude for you. 1. I wear a sombrero. 2. I drive a really cool car. 3. Something something Opal. 4. I unashamedly sweat profusedly in public. And don’t even stink while doing it! 5. I pick up the tab. 6. I wear a kilt. On occasion. What more could you possibly want in a man? _ **ExTank** “Did I mention I wear a sombrero?”_ ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2000, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dfw-dopers-go-to-the-fair-and-palmyra-has-a-birthday/37848/175 "2000-10-26T03:03:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ExTank \* > \*\* > I stole all of their napkins in a futile attempt to stem the tide of perspiration, and slung sweat all over both of them (icky-gross, I know, but hey…) \*\* I forgot about that. At one point I looked over at your and your entire face was glistening with sweat. Cheffie mentioned something about sweaty eyelids and I swear you had them. > [@](#): > > \*\* > _ **ExTank** > “Did I mention I wear a sombrero?”_ \*\* I’d like to add that ExTank makes wearing a sombrero look _ **good!** _ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dfw-dopers-go-to-the-fair-and-palmyra-has-a-birthday/37848.md?page=8)