# Diagnose me over the internet! (Medical knowledge optional.) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 1, 2008, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619 "2008-11-01T19:35:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/1 "2008-11-01T19:35:01Z")
Ow. My fingertips hurt. Seriously, of the 10 prescribed fingers, 8 of them have ouchy places, mostly on the “corners” next to the nails. No visible cuts, redness, swelling or easy stuff. Just ouchy fingertips. I had a bit of a binge drinking thing last night (holiday, you know), so I suspect I’m just a bit dehydrated, but that’s boring. What else could be wrong with me? ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Credible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a8b319/32.png) [@Justin\_Credible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Credible)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/2 "2008-11-01T20:11:15Z")
You must have cut yourself on some of those razorblade apples. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/3 "2008-11-01T20:18:23Z")
Did you play “this little piggy” with a toddler on 'roids? ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/4 "2008-11-01T20:30:59Z")
You’re growing claws and they’re forcing the nails out. ---
**Author:** ![Szlater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Szlater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Szlater)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/5 "2008-11-01T20:31:17Z")
You didn’t pay your bookie, and he sent his goons after you. Next week if you don’t pay they’ll give you a wedgie. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/6 "2008-11-01T20:37:36Z")
I think your fingers are just in withdrawal from lack of typing last night. Write a few more posts and you’ll be right as rain. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/7 "2008-11-01T20:40:53Z")
> [@Justin\_Credible](#): > > You must have cut yourself on some of those razorblade apples. Hmm…unlikely, but maybe opening too many Milky Way Fun Size (the least fun size of candy bar)… > [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Did you play “this little piggy” with a toddler on 'roids? Does a preschooler hopped up on Halloween candy count? > [@Tengu](#): > > You’re growing claws and they’re forcing the nails out. Interesting theory. First goal: shred the cat’s scratching post in retaliation for my sofa. > [@Szlater](#): > > You didn’t pay your bookie, and he sent his goons after you. Next week if you don’t pay they’ll give you a wedgie. As long as it’s not a noogie… > [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > I think your fingers are just in withdrawal from lack of typing last night. Write a few more posts and you’ll be right as rain. Ah, there you go! You might be onto something! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/8 "2008-11-01T20:42:11Z")
Did you get a manicure, exposing your pushed-back cuticles to 'pretty-for-the-holiday-nail-polish", or to “odd-ingredients-for-special-holiday-cooking”? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2008, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/9 "2008-11-01T20:53:07Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > Did you get a manicure, exposing your pushed-back cuticles to 'pretty-for-the-holiday-nail-polish", or to “odd-ingredients-for-special-holiday-cooking”? Serious answer: I get my nails done every two weeks (gel, though the tips are long gone, so the gel is just there to strengthen my own nails, not extend them), and I did get them done on Thursday. It was a new girl, who wasn’t as skilled or proficient as my usual guy, but she didn’t really do anything wrong like get the gel too close or file my skin. However, I chose black polish, which I haven’t worn since high school. Maybe there’s a pigment in the black that isn’t in my usual colors, and my system doesn’t like it. Unlikely, since there’s a layer of gel 'tween my polish and my actual body, but possible. If they’re not feeling better by tomorrow after I’ve rehydrated (seriously, I’ve been up since 10 and to the bathroom only once!), I’ll take the polish off and see if that changes anything. ---
**Author:** ![Libre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85e7bf/32.png) [@Libre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Libre)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/10 "2008-11-02T19:40:49Z")
Ahhh… I know. You were playing that “stab the knife between your open fingers into the table” drinking game. Apparently you missed the gaps sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/11 "2008-11-02T19:48:03Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Serious answer: I get my nails done every two weeks (gel, though the tips are long gone, so the gel is just there to strengthen my own nails, not extend them), and I did get them done on Thursday. It was a new girl, who wasn’t as skilled or proficient as my usual guy, but she didn’t really do anything wrong like get the gel too close or file my skin. However, I chose black polish, which I haven’t worn since high school. Maybe there’s a pigment in the black that isn’t in my usual colors, and my system doesn’t like it. Unlikely, since there’s a layer of gel 'tween my polish and my actual body, but possible. If they’re not feeling better by tomorrow after I’ve rehydrated (seriously, I’ve been up since 10 and to the bathroom only once!), I’ll take the polish off and see if that changes anything. You have been exposed to bacteria from dirty equipment and now have a fungus in your nails that will escalate into a flesh eating bacteria. Your fingers will probably have to be amputated at the first knuckle to prevent the bacteria from spreading. I wouldn’t worry though, the dehydration is a prelude to a coma. You’ll be peacefully sleeping as your kidneys shut down from lack of fluids to do their job. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2008, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/12 "2008-11-02T20:33:18Z")
I made a voodoo doll of you last summer (you really need to be more careful with disposing your, ah, feminine products), and I’ve been slamming its hands in a doorknob all morning. No special reason; I’m just a jerk. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/13 "2008-11-03T17:19:20Z")
[mod hat on] Since this isn’t a game, I’m moving it off to MPSIMS… [mod hat off] ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/14 "2008-11-03T17:22:25Z")
(Really? Wasn’t it already kinda dead, Jim?) I put it in The Game Room so it was crystal clear that I was just joshing around having fun, not seeking actual medical advice against the rules. Next time I’ll offer arbitrary points or somethin’. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/15 "2008-11-03T17:28:58Z")
I thought about leaving it, **WhyNot** , since nobody had posted since yesterday, but it had been reported, and it certainly couldn’t _hurt_ anything to move it to the forum it belonged in. BTW, I think your original problem is sleeping with your cat. Sometimes they nibble in the dead of night… ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/16 "2008-11-03T17:39:02Z")
My fingertips hurt the day after I remove my polish. It always takes me a minute to connect the two. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/17 "2008-11-03T18:02:55Z")
Did someone check your blood glucose over and over and over again? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/18 "2008-11-03T18:15:05Z")
It’s the bubonic plague, you’re going to die. (Do you do a lot of typing at work? Maybe your fingertips are getting overly sensitive from repetitive use…?) ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/19 "2008-11-03T19:08:02Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > It’s the bubonic plague, you’re going to die. > > (Do you do a lot of typing at work? Maybe your fingertips are getting overly sensitive from repetitive use…?) Well, I do a lot of typing on this little message board you might be familiar with… 😃 (They’re all better today, btw. Skald’s voodoo doll obviously sucks.) ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2008, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619/20 "2008-11-03T19:11:47Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > (They’re all better today, btw. Skald’s voodoo doll obviously sucks.) Man, you’d think for an Evil Overlord… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diagnose-me-over-the-internet-medical-knowledge-optional/470619.md?page=2)