# Dial 1-800-FUCK-YOU **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 11, 1999, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dial-1-800-fuck-you/3515 "1999-12-11T12:01:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![fuzzy-wuzzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b38774/32.png) [@fuzzy-wuzzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzy-wuzzy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 1999, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dial-1-800-fuck-you/3515/21 "1999-12-20T01:50:00Z")
How about 1-800-Getalife? I am amazed that people have time to sit around and think up these topics…I can only post to someone else’s topic…I don’t have time to think them up… ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 1999, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dial-1-800-fuck-you/3515/22 "1999-12-21T19:54:00Z")
> [@](#): > > How about 1-800-Getalife? I am amazed that people have time to sit around and think up these topics…I can only post to someone else’s topic…I don’t have time to think them up… 1-800-SOUR-GRAPES P.S. Funny, it doesn’t take some of us all that long to think this stuff up. * * * 1-800-DEAD-GAL “Damn, I don’t get all them guys that complain about their wimmen just lying there! I _like_ that! If they move, or _breathe_? Ewwwwwwww!!! \< shudder \>” * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 1999, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dial-1-800-fuck-you/3515/23 "1999-12-21T21:16:00Z")
Handy: I stand corrected. I checked with the DNS ladies at work, and here is the list of words that Network Solutions will not register in a domain name: tit tits shit fuck cunt motherfucker cocksucker piss olympic olympiad redcross Those last three words left me wondering, but the DNS ladies say they won’t let you register a domain with them unless you’re a member of the Olympic committee or on the board for the Red Cross. Go figure. * * * Will work for sig line. ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 1999, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dial-1-800-fuck-you/3515/24 "1999-12-23T07:52:00Z")
1-800-GET-JOKE Obvious, isn’t it? 1-800-NO-TROLL Another fairly obvious one 1-800-ALL-NICK Just for you know who! * * * Best! Byz ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 1999, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dial-1-800-fuck-you/3515/25 "1999-12-24T06:32:00Z")
1-800-DIARRHEA For the gift that keeps on giving. 1-800-DINGLE-BERRY For those hard to reach places. 1-800-TROLLS "Hey, thanks for calling the Troll Hotline! What kind of a fucking moron ARE you, that you’d call this number? Press 1 to help me with my homework! Press 2 to justify your existance to our operators (they’ve all passed junior high, so watch out!) Press 3 if you know the answer to the daily question. Better make sure it’s the answer I’m looking for, or you’re in soooo much trouble!" * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 1999, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dial-1-800-fuck-you/3515/26 "1999-12-27T06:53:00Z")
> [@](#): > > redcross You mean you couldn’t register [www.redcrosseknight.com,](http://www.redcrosseknight.com,) even if it were a sight about Edmund Spenser and _The Faerie Queene?_ ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 1999, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dial-1-800-fuck-you/3515/27 "1999-12-27T02:58:00Z")
matt: I haven’t tried, so I don’t know. My _guess_ is that they’d let you do something with “redcross” that was, by context, obviously not infringing on the Red Cross. Of course, Network Solutions (Internic, Worldnic, et al) used to be a government agency, and they still retain a lot of the Standard Operational Bullshit procedures that leave out the flexible thinking that could allow a person to recognize that [redcrosseknight.com](http://redcrosseknight.com) has nothing to do with the American Red Cross. Of course, you could still register it to your heart’s content at [register.com](http://register.com) or one of the other competitors. * * * Will work for sig line. ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 1999, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dial-1-800-fuck-you/3515/28 "1999-12-27T03:22:00Z")
Okay you two, yeah YOU two! Darn you, coming in, taking this thread to Cuba! Darn it all to hell! This is all just a joke! Don’t have a serious, enlightening discussion in here about what you can and can’t register! What are you, nuts?! This is about lame 1-800 jokes… get with the program! May I suggest: 1-800-NEW-POST And there you can talk about what you would like to discuss. 1-800-MY-THING Cause, like, this is MY thread and you two are on a tangent. (Whaaa, whaa!) 1-800-BIG-JOKE This is because I’m just kidding around! 🙂 🙂 😉 Please, again, I’m just digging at you… I just really wanted to see if anyone else out there sits around, brain full, stomach empty, and thinks up weird assed 1-800 numbers. If you really want to discuss web address you can call my NEW number 1-800-WEB-$#@% If you can’t reach me, keep trying. Results may vary. Offer void in Utah, Tennessee, Virgin Islands and Rhode Island… ## This has been a joke. If I were really pissed you would see my head explode in phantasmagoric splendor… if you are unsure about the joke in this, or ANY post I’ve made, please, ask. After I dump a beer on my head I will get back to you! Best! Byz ---
**Author:** ![ramesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d07c76/32.png) [@ramesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ramesh)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 1999, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dial-1-800-fuck-you/3515/29 "1999-12-27T04:10:00Z")
## No slights intended - but I am amazed this thread has survived this far… - Message NOT scanned for typos… ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 1999, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dial-1-800-fuck-you/3515/30 "1999-12-27T04:21:00Z")
ramesh – might I suggest 1-800-HARD-JOB ## That’s what you have to do to keep the dream alive! Come, dream with me! Best! Byz ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 1999, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dial-1-800-fuck-you/3515/31 "1999-12-28T01:56:00Z")
And my mom wonders why I’m in here laughing so hard. Okay, okay. Here’s my contribution: 1-800-FELCH-ME (what? it’s been done?) 1-800-BAK-2-BYZ (for timely reminders that hijacking is not appreciated) 1-800-FWAP-YOU (for those in need of dope slaps. Should I put it on speed dial?) 1-800-I-MADE-IT (for those who want to mark the milestone that Byz actually _noticed_ them. Woohoo! I’m in! Another checkbox marked.) * * * Will work for sig line. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 1999, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dial-1-800-fuck-you/3515/32 "1999-12-31T10:16:00Z")
Driving home from work at midnight (and thank God I don’t have to do **that** again for another six months), I get to hear a lot of commercials on the car radio. My normal mode is to get offended at the dipshits who ask us to dial a number with more than seven digits (e.g., "call 1-800-LOSEWEIGHTNOW). More to the point might be to get offended about the dipshits who call the number, I suppose, but let that lie for now. Being in a philosophical if-you-can’t-beat-them,-join-them frame of mind one evening, I decided that a good toll-free number to have for my company (in the event that I ever lose sight of my principles to the point where I become an entrepreneur), would be 1-800-ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM. It would be real easy to remember. * * * Of course truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. Mark Twain ---
**Author:** ![the\_first\_supraliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f475e1/32.png) [@the\_first\_supraliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_first_supraliminal)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 1999, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dial-1-800-fuck-you/3515/33 "1999-12-31T14:28:00Z")
I always call: 1-800-PLEASEGIVEMEANOTHERFUCKINGBEERCAUSEIJUSTCANTTAKETHISSHITANYMORE Lucky I got speed dial. * * * There’s always another beer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dial-1-800-fuck-you/3515.md?page=1)