# Diamonds are a scam, so how do I win? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 29, 2018, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735 "2018-01-29T16:03:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/61 "2018-02-01T17:53:23Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > Pawn shops are great places to get diamonds for startlingly low prices. Just sayin. I have never seen a good deal at a pawn shop ever. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/62 "2018-02-01T17:57:49Z")
Do what I did and inherit the stone from your great-grandmother. ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/63 "2018-02-01T18:00:35Z")
Maybe you could get a deal on jewelry on craigslist. If the resale market is poor, then the sellers would have to price accordingly. Of course, being craigslist, you’ll have to assume some people are scammers. Unless you can identify the quality of what you’re looking at, you’ll probably get scammed. If you find something you’re interested in, tell the seller that you’ll meet them at an independent jeweler/gemologist for an inspection before purchase. The agent for your homeowner’s insurance might be able to recommend a gem appraiser, since they need appraisals for jewelry coverage. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/64 "2018-02-01T19:04:05Z")
What about grave robbing? No one ever wants to talk about grave robbing. But truly the most exclusive diamond is one pried off the dead finger of a corpse. Tell your fiancee’ that anything less than a corpse diamond means he doesn’t really love you. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/65 "2018-02-03T01:47:15Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > I have never seen a good deal at a pawn shop ever. Then you haven’t looked too hard. The thing to remember about pawn shops is that the posted price is basically a guideline. You’ll usually walk away paying about 2/3 of that. You can haggle in a jewelry store, too, but the lady behind the counter in a pawn shop usually starts where the guy in the jewelry store finishes. ---
**Author:** ![thirdname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/66 "2018-02-03T06:16:10Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > I will also say that certain rich people get two identical pieces made (or four identical in the case of earrings), one set with the actual precious stone, to put in the vault, and one to wear. And if it’s in the same setting, you can’t tell the difference. Equal fire, equal clarity, equal color and in the case of manmade diamonds, no flaws. What is the point of buying diamonds and putting them in a vault? They generally have poor resale value, unless you’re talking about the Hope Diamond. If they’re not going to wear them, why buy them at all? ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/67 "2018-02-03T07:17:30Z")
> [@Sam\_Stone](#): > > What about grave robbing? No one ever wants to talk about grave robbing. But truly the most exclusive diamond is one pried off the dead finger of a corpse. Tell your fiancee’ that anything less than a corpse diamond means he doesn’t really love you. _What a filthy, dirty job_ Could be worse _How?_ Could be raining ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/68 "2018-02-03T23:13:30Z")
You’re in a jewelry store with your fiancee, sitting there facing a salesman, and he suggests a good amount to spend on an engagement diamond would be three month’s salary. You turn ashen and ask, is that net or gross? Without batting an eye, he gives you a slow steady stare and asks, right in front of your fiancee, “Sir, how much do you love this lady?” Her lower lip starts trembling. See? You already lost, way back when you started wondering how to win. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/69 "2018-02-04T00:11:58Z")
> [@steronz](#): > > Nonsense, I would never marry someone obsessed with silly things like big ass shiny rocks. This is for a completely different project. Maybe a death ray or something. I call BS. As the FBI said in relation to the Nune’s memo [We Don’t Have Tesla’s Death Ray](https://www.wired.com/2008/07/fbi-we-dont-hav/) not even any plans. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/70 "2018-02-04T06:12:22Z")
I am surprised nobody mentioned Moissanite - a lab-created stone that looks very much like a diamond but is much cheaper than a diamond of comparable quality would be. My engagement and wedding rings are made with moissanite. It is a very durable stone just like a diamond. It actually has MORE fire and sparkle than diamonds do, so I really don’t think it’s a bad thing that it is not a “real diamond”. I bought my rings from [http://www.moissaniteco.com](http://www.moissaniteco.com) - but that was a few years ago, so not sure if there are better options now. If I had not gone for moissanite, I would have gotten a sapphire ring. I would not want a man to buy a diamond for me under any circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/71 "2018-02-04T06:51:46Z")
With that username, I’d have expected you to go for amethyst instead. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mrs\_Ducky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrs_ducky/32/6227_2.png) [@Mrs\_Ducky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs_Ducky)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/72 "2018-02-04T22:05:46Z")
> [@watchwolf49](#): > > Cubic zirconium … then lie … My ring is CZ. They wanted 4 grand for a diamond. My husband said he would get the CZ (matching rings) and I could have the diamond. I said hell no. We’ve been married going on 31 years. Nobody knows but us! ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/73 "2018-02-04T22:36:14Z")
> [@iamthewalrus\_3](#): > > I bought my [del]thing[/del] wife a sapphire ring. Prettier (in our opinion) and less expensive than diamond. They come in every color. And (maybe?) fewer oppressed people mining them. They have also been used by a lot of the British royal family. So if one’s intended is a Anglophile, a sapphire can have a lot of meaning But some women like diamonds. And its best to be clear. Its also best to have some long term discussions on finances before “investing” in a big ass diamond ring. I got a dual purpose engagement/wedding band that was not big assed at all (its five channel set small diamonds), but we had bigger priorities for that period in time than jewelry - we built a house, we took a nice honeymoon, we paid off my husband’s student loans. Its best to have long term discussions on finances before you get to the point of discussing the possibility of tying yourselves together…if your financial priorities aren’t at least marginally congruent, you’ll have a bumpy ride. I still don’t have a big assed diamond ring (I’ll inherit my mother’s - hopefully not for years yet, which my daughter will then inherit - hopefully not for many more years), but I’ve gotten some very nice jewelry (most of it either 'estate" which is another nice word for fancy used jewelry or art pieces - which aren’t precious stones, but are unusual) once our financial priorities moved away from “paying for basics” to “hey, honey, I like nice jewelry”) ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2018, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/74 "2018-02-04T22:43:16Z")
> [@Skara\_Brae](#): > > Those are better words, but I knew a girl in college who was presented with her fiancee’s beloved late grandmother’s engagement ring, but cried about how she didn’t want “some dead woman’s ring.” And then complained her “new” ring was so much smaller, since the guy couldn’t afford a whole karat.:dubious::rolleyes: > > There’s no pleasing some people… My late brother in law’s ex-girlfriend… My husband and I had been married 15 years at that point. We had two six figure a year incomes. My brother in law was working on his master’s degree and living off student loans. They’d been dating eighteen months. I got a beautiful piece of jewelry for Christmas - I’ve paid less for my teenager’s cars than this necklace cost (I do buy my teens cheap cars) - and he got from her “why didn’t you get me something like that?” It took him a while after that exchange to finally break it off with her, but that was one of the “wake up!” moments. ---
**Author:** ![AI\_Proofreader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@AI\_Proofreader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AI_Proofreader)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2018, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/75 "2018-02-05T04:36:32Z")
I’m eagerly awaiting the day one of these asteroid-mining startups succeeds and hauls back a couple trillion dollars worth of diamonds, floods the market, and diamond now costs $10 a pound and De Beers collapses overnight; a fitting end to a century of creating artificial scarcity and convincing millions of people they’re cheapskates and social pariahs if they aren’t using a diamond in their marriage ritual. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2018, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/76 "2018-02-07T15:24:09Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > That rationale doesn’t fly. If you’re doing a diamond-focused death ray, you’re obligated by the Evil Overlord code to steal the diamonds. > > Buy them? Feh. Nonetheless, as a responsible Evil Overlord, you want to make sure you’re not stealing them from someplace that either obtained them from a blood-diamond source, or from someplace that would use the insurance payout to purchase replacements from such a source. Evil Overlords have to have SOME standards, after all. I mean, harming the “innocent” is kind of part of the whole deal, but usually you’re only targeting the innocent of countries / organizations you have a beef with. One trouble with the pre-owned marketplace as a source of theft is that the selection of rocks of the desired size / cut / characteristics needed for Death Ray purposes is much more limited and unpredictable. Something like the Hope Diamond or the Koh-I-Noor, which might meet those characteristics, is an excellent choice all around both for function and the thumbing-your-nose message, but those kind of stones tend to be well-guarded enough that you’d need a fair bit of planning time to get away with stealing them. If your Death Ray construction is on a strict timetable, this needs to be factored into the equation. BTW… on the remote chance that “the thing” is in fact a potential life partner, what are her preferences? That might, um, give some hints as to her financial and ethical priorities. Me, I originally had an amethyst that was given to us by my future MIL, then later when we could afford one, I got a sapphire… 2 carats, at about 2,000 bucks total. Admittedly the ring has some tiny diamonds on either side, but their cost was minimal. This predated the awareness of blood diamonds, so I don’t know their provenance :(. In any case: a plain diamond ring is so standard as to be barely noticeable, while you can get a truly eyecatching colored stone for far less money. ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2018, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/77 "2018-02-07T18:11:09Z")
> [@Skara\_Brae](#): > > Those are better words, but I knew a girl in college who was presented with her fiancee’s beloved late grandmother’s engagement ring, but cried about how she didn’t want “some dead woman’s ring.” And then complained her “new” ring was so much smaller, since the guy couldn’t afford a whole karat.:dubious::rolleyes: > > There’s no pleasing some people… My fiance got my grandmother’s ring when I proposed. Somebody complimented her with the standard “wow, what a rock!” and she replied “oh, he didn’t buy it, it’s his grandmother’s.” Thanks, honey! ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/78 "2018-02-09T00:52:23Z")
> [@lavenderviolet](#): > > I am surprised nobody mentioned Moissanite - a lab-created stone that looks very much like a diamond but is much cheaper than a diamond of comparable quality would be. My engagement and wedding rings are made with moissanite. It is a very durable stone just like a diamond. It actually has MORE fire and sparkle than diamonds do, so I really don’t think it’s a bad thing that it is not a “real diamond”. > I bought my rings from [http://www.moissaniteco.com](http://www.moissaniteco.com) - but that was a few years ago, so not sure if there are better options now. > > If I had not gone for moissanite, I would have gotten a sapphire ring. I would not want a man to buy a diamond for me under any circumstances. At some point during our seven-year courtship, The Lady and I were renting DVD’s from Netflix. She was a DiCaprio fan (after watching Titanic) so we rented Blood Diamond. Then she made the mistake of asking, “How much of that story is true?” So I told her about DeBeers and the cartel situation and suggested she look up more via the Internet. When she was done, she was dead-set against owning diamonds at all and wasn’t real happy about gold, platinum, and a host of other jewelry components, either. I convinced her not to sell off what she already owned, but we agreed to avoid a real diamond if we ever got engaged. I also showed her the somewhat-obvious indicators on CZ stones and told her I wanted to find something better than those, as well. A couple years later (not that we were constantly hunting) we agreed on moisanite in a really cool setting. I upgraded her setting choice from 14K gold to 18K and she has since agreed that it has a better contrast against her skin. She even got the jeweler to make her a companion band as the wedding ring. They look awesome together! It’s been a decade and she hasn’t complained (about the ring) since. —G! Diamond Ring Wear it on your hand Gonna tell the world I’m your only man …–Jon Bongiovi (Bon Jovi) …_Diamond Ring_ …These Days ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2018, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/79 "2018-02-09T13:11:56Z")
> [@sciurophobic](#): > > Do what I did and inherit the stone from your great-grandmother. Dammit - she always liked you better. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2018, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735/82 "2018-05-27T01:04:12Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > OP yes you can buy jewelry grade labgrown diamond rings. Type in “lab grown diamond rings” into Google and you’ll find several vendors. > > Up to you if there will be trouble with “a thing” if there’s low resale value. I think he wants to buy the grown diamond on the secondary market because of the low resale value. Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-a-scam-so-how-do-i-win/807735.md?page=5)